Taking Chances
by TStabler
Summary: For most of their lives, outside of work, Olivia Benson & Elliot stabler have been afraid to take certain risks, always doing what was "safe" & "expected." When the time comes to put all of themselves on the line, they realize that there are great consequences, but even greater rewards, that come with taking chances. EO AU STRONG M in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Another new one, with a slightly alternative take on their relationship and how things may have been different, if only they'd taken chances.**

 **DISCLAIMER: If I owned the characters I wouldn't need to write a disclaimer. And also, the show would need to be on HBO after 11PM…**

 _ **Prelude**_

"Get down here!" Olivia Benson was never one to yell, but she was already ten minutes behind schedule and couldn't afford any more lost time. She slathered cashew butter on a slice of bread and slapped a grape jelly covered one, shoved it into a paper bag, and yelled again, "Get down here, now!"

The man coming into the kitchen caught a glimpse of the open jar, and as he tied his tie, he made a disgusted face and asked the question. "Cashew butter? Why?"

Olivia grabbed the four rolled up lunch bags off of the counter and said, quoting a parent newsletter from memory, "Because school regulations prohibit peanut butter due to potentially deadly peanut allergies, fucking hell." She heard the trample of footsteps rushing down stairs and just as she reached the bottom of the steps to meet their little bodies, she huffed, "Christ, finally! Here." She kissed each small cheek as she handed out the bags. "Seatbelts on! I'm hitting the gas, today," she called to the small group of kids.

"Not fair," he complained as he walked up to her, pouting.

"What?" she asked, pulling on her jacket and grabbing her keys off the hook. She followed him with her eyes as he stopped near the opened door to put in the alarm code. "They all got kisses." He heard the beep and pulled her out onto the front stoop so he could close the door. "And I didn't."

Rolling her eyes, she laughed and gave in, leaning toward him and giving him a soft peck on the lips. "Better?"

He smiled. "Much." He followed her as they ran down the steps and got into the black SUV. "Light?" he asked, clicking his seatbelt into the latch.

She turned the key, checked the time, and said, "Shit, yes."

He tapped a button on the dashboard light, and it whirred to life, it's spiral of blue blaring and glowing. The tires screeched a bit as Olivia stepped on the gas, and she drove the way she usually did during high-speed chases. "Gym uniforms?" she asked loudly.

"Yes," a chorus of small voices sang.

"Homework?" she asked, looking back at the four children in the rear-view mirror.

Again, all four kids gave her a sweet-sounding, "Yes."

"Good," she said, and she changed lanes, weaving in and out of tightly packed spaces in an attempt to get the kids to school on time, and still make it to work before her boss had time to get pissed. "You know," she whispered to him, low enough so the children couldn't hear her, "You're the reason we're always late."

"Me?" he questioned with a smirk. "How?"

"If you'd let me get out of the damn bed," she chuckled, "or the shower, we…"

"I let you," he interrupted, and hs smirk grew into a wicked grin. "When I'm finished with you. Not my fault you make it damn near impossible to stop. Besides, you know I have to, uh," he looked in the back, seeing his oblivious children in various states of drowsiness, "spend that kinda time with you in the morning, because with work, it could be days before…"

"Yeah, but, with you it's…" she paused as she swerved the car into the next lane, "always more than once, even when you know we don't have the time."

He laughed and shook his head. "Liv, with you, it's like potato chips. I can't have just one." He looked at her and waited, and when she looked at him, he deliberately licked his lips and gave her a smoldering look.

She cleared her throat and shifted in her seat, her dress pants suddenly feeling far too uncomfortable. She changed lanes again and turned, heading down the street that Saint Stephen's elementary school lay perched on, finally slowing down to a legal speed. She parked in front, got out, and ran around to meet Elliot as he opened the back door.

One by one, the kids got out of the car and kissed their father on the cheek, then Olivia, and they scurried up the walkway heading toward the large stained glass and wood doors. Olivia waved to the Reverend Mother as she welcomed the children into the school, and then exhaled. "I think we might just make it, on time, for once."

He nodded, closing the car door, and he ran around to the driver's seat. It was their routine, knowing that no one at work should see her driving his car. He waited until she fastened her seatbelt and then pulled away from the school, easing back onto the main road and heading for the Sixteenth Precinct of the NYPD. "Hey, uh, honey?"

She turned, looking away from the window and toward him. "What?"

"Relax," he said, smiling. "We have time to spare, now, you can breathe."

She nodded and rolled the tension out of her shoulders. "Yeah," she huffed. She tugged down her red button-down shirt, ran a manicured hand through her still-damp hair, and said, "They're getting older."

"So are we," he laughed. "But they're still babies, baby."

"They're gonna ask," she said, her eyes traveling down to her lap.

He shook his head. "They'll have no reason to ask," he told her calmly, sincerely. "You know that." He turned the wheel, guiding the car into the numbered parking spot he was assigned. He twisted the key, shutting it off, and he unbuckled his seatbelt and looked at her. Cupping her face, he said, "They're too young to understand, to realize...they don't even really remember life before you, and to tell you the truth, neither do I." He pulled her face close to his, kissed her deeply, licking the seam of her lips once as he pulled back. "If they ever do ask, we'll tell them the truth. Well, with, uh, some altered details."

She rolled her eyes and nodded, and then her eyes closed. When she opened them, her head turned toward the large, brick building behind them. "I love my job, but I hate what going in there means for us."

"So do I," he said, sighing. "But you're still relatively new, here, honey. He hired you, he saw the sparks fly when we met." He chuckled. "Give it time, and when we tell him, maybe he won't even be surprised. Nothing'll happen."

She gave him a skeptical expression, her hair falling into her eyes slightly as her head lolled to the left. "Bullshit," she laughed. "You know, what if he shows up at the house one day, and I'm there. It's bad enough I had to use my mother's address just so he wouldn't realize…"

"Shh," he said, pressing a finger to her lips. "When he's had more time to see how we work, how unbelievably perfect we are together, we'll tell him. It's not like we broke the law, it's just some minor department policy that no one even…"

She kissed the pad of his finger, the gesture silenced him, and she looked into his eyes. Her entire world swam in that sea of blue, and she saw it all. She saw the moment they met, how sparks flew when they shook hands, the conversation over sandwiches and beer where she asked a million questions because he was the kind of detective she strived to become. She saw the night of endless talking that told them right away there was undeniable chemistry between them. She saw the pain and guilt they both felt, thinking they'd gotten themselves in trouble.

Behind the swirls of green and blue in his eyes, she saw the memory playback, when Cragen told her she would be Elliot's partner, on probationary terms, for the next six weeks. She saw how quickly they became the perfect pair, kicking ass, taking names, closing cases, shattering records. She saw the days that passed, where she brought him out of some heavy darkness he hadn't realized he'd been trapped in, where she took care of him and his kids, and slowly but absolutely certainly, she fell in love with him, with everything he was, everything he is, and everything he would eventually become, and how much of herself, she realized, lived in him. And he returned every emotion so fully and so firmly.

As he blinked and moved in for another kiss, she remembered the night she'd told him she wouldn't take the job if it meant they couldn't be together. He had refused to be the reason she missed the chance to do what she set out to do when she became a cop, he'd outright refused to let her give up everything she worked her ass off for, so they'd figured out how to work around policies and regulations, they'd known what information to omit and what lies they'd needed to tell, and when the job was permanently offered to her, she'd taken it, knowing it meant keeping a thick wall up between work and her personal life. But, they both knew, it was a wall that should and would be up, anyway, and the way that they so immediately fell into a close and stellar partnership left no room for questions when it came to certain filled-in spaces in personnel files. No one had any reason to wonder, or pry, or concern.

She pulled away from him with a low moan and dejected pout. "Here we go, Stabler," she said, shaking her head and opening the car door.

"Ready, Benson?" he asked, his own door open and one foot already out and on the asphalt.

She laughed and nodded, turning off part of her heart and falling into a well-memorized charade. She walked right beside him, in the same rhythm, as they pushed through the glass doors. She waved to colleagues as they bypassed the metal detectors and held their badges up for Frank the Security Guy, and they almost made it to the elevator without incident.

Almost.

"Benson," a chipper voice called from behind them.

"Oh, fucking Christ," Elliot mumbled.

Chuckling, Olivia elbowed him in his side. "Be nice," she hissed, then turned to look over her shoulder. "Morning, Brian," she said, stepping into the elevator as the doors opened. She felt Elliot, right beside her, heat radiating off of his body, seeping through his suit and coat.

"What are you doing tonight?" Brian asked, grinning at her as he, too, got into the lift.

Olivia could sense the irritation rolling off of Elliot, and part of her thought it would be fun to fan the flames, drive him crazy, but a bigger part of her knew better. "We've been through this," she said, dropping her eyes. "I'm not going out with you."

"Why not?" Brian Cassidy, another detective in their unit, folded his arms and leaned up against the back wall of the elevator, letting his eyes travel up and down her body, licking his lips salaciously as he imagined what lay beneath her clothes.

"Cassidy," Elliot snapped, as coolly as he could, "She doesn't date people she works with, besides, it's against policy."

Brian sighed. "True," he coughed as the doors opened, and the three detectives strode off and down the hall, heading to the department doors of the Special Victims Unit. "How's the little woman, Stabler?"

The laugh that escaped Elliot's throat was bitter, and he rolled his eyes realizing that he'd done a much better job of keeping his personal life out of the office, so to speak. "What little woman?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. He shook his head and chuckled at the confused expression on Cassidy's face, and he eyes Olivia who shot him a knowing look. "All right," he sighed. "I'll be nice."

As they rounded the corner and stepped through the department doors, their boss was waiting for them, sitting on the corner of Elliot's desk holding two cups of coffee. He handed one to Elliot, who nodded at him, and the other to Olivia.

"God bless you," she said, her eyes wide with gratuity, as she held the cup with both hands and brought it to her lips.

Captain Cragen laughed as he watched her sip, drinking half the cup at once. "Rough morning?"

She swallowed as she nodded. "You have no idea."

"Where's mine?" Cassidy asked, tossing his jacket over the back of his chair.

Cragen shot him an annoyed look. "I only have two hands, and you're usually late, I had no reason to pour you a cup," he said with a shrug. He looked back at Elliot. "I'd hate to make an already rough morning worse," he began, letting the sympathy dangle for a moment.

Elliot cringed as he dropped his coffee to his desk. "Hit us with it, Jefé," he said, "Before I take my coat off."

Cragen sent a glance toward Olivia, and then dropped his voice. "Complaining vic at Mount Sinai, she's…" he looked at Olivia again, his eyes soft.

"Just tell us, Cap," Olivia said, her face stoic. She knew what the look in his eyes meant. "A child?"

Cragen nodded once, cleared his throat, and said, "Eleven year old girl, she, uh, she told her parents it was her softball coach." He shot his eyes back toward Olivia, seeing the pain flash in her eyes, but then he saw determination and a fire he'd only ever seen in one other detective's eyes before. He grinned, and then he looked at Elliot, seeing the flames burning brighter than ever. "Nail the son of a bitch," he said.

Elliot nodded, downed the rest of his coffee, and threw it in the trash can as he walked with Olivia, back the way they came.

Watching them go, Cassidy shook his head. "Man, is she a special breed of woman, or what?"

"What?" Monique Jeffries, another unit detective, scoffed as she sat in her seat. She tugged on her brown suspenders as she stared, appalled, at Cassidy.

Cassidy looked down at her. "You know anything about her? She single? Does she like pie?"

John Munch, the oldest and most experienced detective at SVU, slapped him on the shoulder. "She will kill you," he said, "If Stabler doesn't kill you first." He walked around to his desk, across from Jeffries, and sat. "Besides, don't you have a girlfriend?"

Brian sat on his desk, leaned over, and grabbed a rubber-band ball off of Olivia's desk. He tossed it in the air, over and over, as he said, "I have a couple, Munch, but there's always room for Jell-O, ya know? And, man, is she some kinda Jell-O."

"You are such a pig," Jeffries said, shaking her head.

Cassidy looked at her as he caught the ball. "Oink, oink, baby," he said with a wink.

"Munch, Jeffries," Cragen came back out of his office with an assignment slip, thrusting it toward Jeffries when she got to her feet. "Rodgers is already en route, you'll need to take witness statements, and you…"

"Rodgers?" Jeffries whined. "You know, Captain, I know she's Teacher's Pet because she's still new and already topping the charts, everyone thinks the sun shines out of her ass, but this is our fifth DB in a row, I can handle living victims."

Cragen gave her a stark look. "You can," he said, and then he nodded toward Munch. "He can't." He ignored the muffled insult Munch threw at him as he and Jeffries grabbed their jackets and walked out, and he turned his attention toward Cassidy. "You," he said, "My office. Now."

"What did I do?" Brian asked, trying to smooth his wrinkled pants as he stood.

"Nothing," Cragen snapped as he led Cassidy to his office door, "And I need to keep it that way." He waited for Cassidy to sit in a chair near his desk, he looked around, and then he slammed and locked his door.

Things just got interesting at SVU, people in the right place and the right time, and he wasn't going to let anyone screw things up.

Nope.

He wasn't taking chances.

 **A/N: Where's Kathy? What's up with Liv's mom? There will be flashbacks, there will be fluffy family moments, there will be sexytiems, and there will be familiar tie-ins, bringing the tensions and the drama, when some of the truth stays hidden, but some comes to light...as another chance is taken. Next.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: "Don't know much about your life, don't much about your world…"**

 **DISCLAIMER: Don't sue me, Dick Wolf. And LBH I know you and your writers have read fanfic before, you can only steal my ideas if you DO IT RIGHT *harsh glare***

"I can't imagine what her parents are going through," Olivia said, carrying two glasses of red wine over to the couch. She handed one to Elliot and sat beside him, bringing her knees up and curling them under her. "This was a man they trusted, allowed their kid to…" she choked on her words, shaking her head, and took a sip of her wine. As she swallowed, she closed her eyes and dropped her head to Elliot's shoulder.

He took a long sip from his glass, then, too, and swallowed hard. "Why do you think I have the guys up in Comp run background checks on all the kids' teachers and coaches? First sign of anything hinky, and…"

"Hinky?" she laughed, interrupting him.

With a smile, he took another sip of his wine and looked down at her. He winked, kissed her forehead, and said, "Cassidy's pissed at you, by the way?"

"Because I won't go out with him?" she questioned, her brows knitting, She swirled her wine glass, making the dark-red liquid coat the sides of the crystal.

He nodded, but then sipped, swallowed, and said, "And because Cragen's nailing him for it, told him that the next time he asks you, or says anything about your ass or lips, he's being written up for harassment and lewd conduct." He let out a mildly victorious chuckle. "He thinks you complained about it to Cragen."

Olivia rolled her eyes and took another big gulp of her wine. "You," she said, knowing he was the one who had brought it up with the captain.

"Me," he said on an exhalation. He moved forward to put his empty glass on the coffee table. "Told him you were too nice to say anything, that you thought it was all harmless but it made you uncomfortable." He looked at her with a sly grin. "You know, that's all I had to say, Cragen's taken a liking to you."

"Because I'm the first partner you've had, since the day he hired your ass, that you work well with," she sipped her wine as she eyed him carefully, a playful smile pulling at her lips, "and don't want to kill."

His smirk grew. "I found other ways to vent my frustrations with you," he whispered into her ear. He heard her moan softly and moved fast, nipping at her lobe with his teeth and then sucking it into his mouth.

She moved further into him, turning her head a bit, granting him both access and permission, and she moaned again, feeling his tongue swipe up the thin, sensitive skin behind her ear. "Don't start something you don't intend to finish," she eked out, reaching without moving too much, dropping her glass to the table next to his.

"Have I ever?" he asked with a low, gravelly chuckle. He felt her shake her head as he suckled on her throbbing pulse, the patch of flesh where her neck met her shoulder. He looped his arms around her and pulled, hard, until she was on his lap, her legs around his body. He thrust upward, his hardness rubbing against her as his mouth continued its assault of her neck.

Her hands, scratching up and down his scalp, through his short hair, dug in harder as she moaned softly. "Fuck," she hissed, leaping off of him, hearing the tiny patter of small feet on the stairs. She cleared her throat and picked up the two wine glasses left abandoned on the coffee table. "Hi, pumpkin," she breathed, seeing Lizzie rubbing her tiny eyes as she stood at the bottom of the staircase.

The small girl mumbled something that sounded like 'purple mop' and dragged her feet as she moved toward the couch. She fell onto her father, a soft 'oof' escaping as her head landed on his shoulder.

Elliot laughed, brushed her hair back, and asked, "What did you say, sweetie?"

Closed eyed and flat mouthed, she picked up her head and said, "Hello, Mom." Her head fell back against her dad.

Elliot looked at Olivia, licked his lips, and smiled. "What's the problem, peanut?"

"Stupid brother and his stupid snoring and his stupid face with his stupid nose," she grumbled groggily.

Laughing, Olivia shook her head and walked into the kitchen, dumping the small amount of leftover wine from one glass into the sink. She put the two goblets into the dishwasher and took a deep breath, still trying to regain composure. Elliot had a way of working her up beyond repair so quickly. She felt strong arms loop around her waist as she stood in front of the machine, and she leaned back into him. "Guess she's sleeping on the couch, now?"

He kissed the back of her head as he nodded. "We gotta get her earplugs or get Dickie's sinuses drained, or something, that's the third time this week."

She turned around and worked her hands into his sweatpants, slipping them around to cup his ass. She squeezed as she looked up at him. "Thank goodness he doesn't get that from you," she teased, kissing him. "I'd have shot you already."

He chuckled as he moved to kiss her again, and almost as soon as their lips touched, his cell phone rang. He rolled his eyes and uttered a vile curse word that would've earned him a slap from Olivia if he'd said it in front of his kids. "Stabler," he said, answering the call. His face screwed up, then, somewhat confused. "Um, no, she...she doesn't live here anymore. Uh, who is this?" He backed away from Olivia and turned, heading back toward the living room. "Do you have any idea what time it is? Even if she did, this is my cell…" he stopped moving, he turned slowly, toward Olivia. He pulled her to him again as he said, "Oh, you did, huh?" He laughed. "Well, no, um, I'm not her brother."

"What?" Olivia mouthed.

He held up a finger and shook his head. "No, I don't have her new number, sorry, pal." He hung up and looked at Olivia, a bemused smile on his face. "So, while I was out at all hours of the night, working, she was...dating." He laughed, in spite of the situation, and said, "That was some guy from a speed-dating service, said Kathy left her wallet…"

He was interrupted with another ringing phone, hers this time, and he watched her answer it, spitting out her last name. He knew by the way her shoulders slumped that it was work. "I'll call the sitter," he said, running a hand down his face. He checked his watch and cursed again, and then padded into the bedroom as he made the call. As he talked, he pulled a suit and shirt out of the closet. He grinned, a smile that was a blend of lust and love, as he tugged one of Olivia's suits off of a hanger. He hung up his call and turned when she came into the room, and he tossed her the blue shirt he'd picked for her.

She smiled. "I can't wear this one," she said, tossing it back to him. "Someone ripped the buttons off of it two weeks ago, after a pretty headed interrogation."

He shrugged. "Sorry," he said, dropping his sweatpants. He knew she was staring at him now, his semi-rigid length at half-mast. He pulled another shirt off of another hanger and threw it to her, and then pulled off his tee shirt. "Where are we going?"

"Nowhere, if you don't put some clothes on," she joked, licking her lips as she pulled her own shirt over head. "Body dump on Eighty-Ninth, torn shirt but naked otherwise. Means they had to call us. "She worked her arms through the sleeves of the button down, but froze when his hands swatted hers out of the way. She stared at him as he laced each with button through its hole, and he straightened her collar when he was done. She kissed him softly, whispered, "I love you," and reached over for her pants.

"I love you, back, baby," he said, pulling his pants up without bothering to put on underwear first.

They dressed in silence, and when the doorbell rang, they left the bedroom together. They each grabbed a badge off of the table near the door, and while Elliot let the babysitter in, Olivia unlocked the drawer where they kept their duty-weapons. She handed one to him as she holstered the other, and smiled at the young woman who was taking her coat off. "Thanks, Julie,"she said. "I know it's late."

"No problem, Missus S," the girl said. "I told you, whenever you need me, I'll be here." She looked at Elliot. "I was awake anyway, I have a paper due at nine." She held up a messenger bag. " But one of the perks of taking online classes, I can be anywhere, and it's okay." She shrugged as she plopped onto the couch, carefully avoiding the tiny slumbering body of Lizzie Stabler. She pulled a laptop computer out of her bag and flipped it open. "Be careful," she said, waving to them as they left the house.

Olivia waited until she was nestled in the passenger seat of the car to say, "She called me…"

"Yeah," Elliot interrupted, nodding once. He started the car and pulled out of his driveway.

"You didn't correct her," she said, narrow-eyed.

He laughed. "Neither did you," he pointed out, "She never met Kathy, so...she wasn't really wrong, ya know," he eyed her with a longing and seriousness that startled and comforted her all at once. "We just, uh, have to make sure she doesn't ever get the chance to say that in front of Cragen."

She laughed, shaking her head, but he was right. It didn't matter who, outside of work, thought she was his wife. It hadn't been long enough, she knew that, but it was already close enough to the truth. "What did, um, that guy who…"

"Nothing other than he wanted to give Kathy her wallet," he spoke, turning the wheel and heading down a side-street to get to their crime scene. "He found my card in her wallet and thought I was her brother or something, wanted me to tell her. She's a regular at his place, has been for over a year. Which is, I mean, yeah, one of the thousand reasons I kicked her out nine months ago, and why she...just walked away."

"I'm, what, the other nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine reasons?" She laughed at her own jab, but waited for a real answer.

"Baby, you know she was already out of my life before you walked into it," he said, sincerely. He saw the flashing lights coming into view as he turned down another road, and he took a deep breath. "Here we go," he said, and he quickly leaned over to kiss her fast. "It's gonna be a horrible fucking morning."

She angled her brows and tilted her head as she started to open the door. "Why?"

"Gee, baby," he said, opening his own door. "Why do you think? We were interrupted, twice, so until we get home, I'm gonna be really…"

"Oh, shit," she spat, annoyed. "Let's just, uh, pray this is open-and-shut, then, huh?"

He chuckled, taking pride in the fact that she needed him, now, as much as he needed her, and they'd formed quite a healthy addiction to each other. He slammed the door behind him and met her as she walked toward the dumpster and the medical examiner.

"Morning, Doctor Rodgers," Elliot said, pulling on a rubber glove.

Rodgers looked over her shoulder, raised an eyebrow, and gave a hmph. "Sun isn't up, yet, Stabler."

He shrugged. "Still, it's after midnight, so it's morning," he shrugged. "What have we got, here?"

Rodgers shook her head and rolled her eyes, and then looked down at the body laying in front of a green, metal dumpster. "Her name's Heather Conchman. Obviously wasn't killed here, but there's a lot of defensive wounds, dried blood and what could be, uh, fluids on her thigh. If laying in this filth didn't compromise the evidence, I'll run it through the system and see what pops up."

"Thanks," Olivia said, and she opened her mouth to ask another question, but a voice behind her stopped her.

"You two got here fast," the man said, his hands in the pockets of his tan slacks. "Benson, you live all the way downtown, did you fly?"

Elliot and Olivia turned, both heads tilting in the same way at the same time.

"That's fucking creepy," the man snapped, pointing at them. "That how you get confessions so damn fast?"

"Why are you here, Ed?" Elliot asked, straightening up.

Ed Tucker, head of Internal Affairs, licked his lips. "I got called in on this, seems, uh, our vic was the wife of a cop, I have to be with you when you notify him." He cleared his throat. "Yeah, and you know...first suspect is always the…"

"Spouse, right," Olivia cut in, nodding. "Great, that's all we need. Gonna take fucking forever, now." She turned back toward Rodgers and the dead woman, and she sighed. "But if a cop did this," she spoke, shaking her head, "I'm glad we're the ones taking him down."

Tucker watched Elliot nod, and then he took a step forward, tapped him on the shoulder, and crooked his finger at him, leaving Olivia to talk to the ME by herself for a moment. "This is more about Benson, but...I don't want to ask her this, I don't know what kinda reaction I…"

"Just spit it out," Elliot barked, "And next time, just ask her, she'll be honest, whatever it is."

Tucker nodded, eyeing Olivia for a moment, and then turned back to Elliot. "I had Cassidy in my office last night, your captain has serious concerns about…"

"Yeah, we're aware," Elliot interjected, nodding once as he crossed his arms. "You want to know if it was more than just a concern?"

Ed, his lip between his teeth, nodded. "You would know, you're her partner."

"Ed, no," Elliot turned his head to look at Olivia, and said, "She never so much as had a conversation with him outside the station, and she would've shot the son of a bitch if he tried anything."

Tucker sighed, nodding, and he said, "All I needed to know. I've got my eye on him, now, so...you can tell her we got her back." He slapped Elliot's shoulder and jutted his chin toward Olivia, telling him to get back to work. He raised both brows, though, when he saw the two detectives get lost in a conversation, watched them pull lint off of each other's jackets and she straightened his tie, and he wondered. Maybe it wasn't Cassidy's he needed to have an eye on.

 **A/N: A day at work, and an evening with Serena. Next.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: "Don't want to be alone, tonight, on this planet we call Earth."**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters or basic plat, but the new spin and unique take? All mine.**

"Okay, but now we have seven victims, all saying the same thing," Elliot mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "Meaning, we have to charge him on multiple counts, that's ten times the paperwork, now, because Cassidy fucking filed it without…"

"Oh, right!" Cassidy barked, "Blame me! I thought we were done, no one told me any different!"

Olivia shot him a look. "We all told you to hold off on it! More than once!"

Cassidy turned, smirking at her. "Oh, mommy's mad," he taunted. "Gonna spank me?"

"Hey!" Elliot fumed, rising fast and slamming a hand down on his desk. "Cragen and Tucker warned you about…"

"Oh, keep your pants on," Cassidy drawled, rolling his eyes. "I was kidding. No one in this place can take a joke, that it?"

Jeffries narrowed her dark eyes at him. "Not when we have seven little girls who will never be able to sleep soundly again, who had their innocence ripped away from them by someone they thought would never hurt them." She looked toward Olivia, her eyes saying volumes, and said, "Took the words out of your mouth, didn't I?"

Olivia nodded once, and then looked in Elliot's direction. "Sit down," she commanded, and then she softened. "Please?"

He licked his lips, smoothed out his blue tie, and sat in his seat, pulling it in closer to the desk. "You okay?" he asked, training his eyes on his partner as he tugged the sleeves on his black suit jacket.

"He doesn't bother me," she shrugged. "Not, ya know, the way his bothers you." She pulled a file off of his desk and opened it, clicked her pen, and leaned back in her chair, reading. "This reminds me of our…"

"Second case together," he completed. "I was thinking the same thing." He laughed as he scrawled his signature at the bottom of a page and flipped it over. "You know, I think God knew what he was doing. When you walked into this room and almost gave me a heart attack, He must've wanted me to know what death felt like, so you would be my reason to live."

She stared blankly at him. "What was...where did…" she cleared her throat and fought back the rising emotions and burning beginnings of tears. "Where the hell did that come from?" she questioned, dropping the file to her desk and folding her arms. She absentmindedly ran her hands up and down the sleeves of her green sweater, a chill running down her spine.

He took a breath and let it out slowly as he signed the last page of the file in his hands. "Thinking out loud," he said. "But it's true. You came into my life when I needed you the most, you brought me and the kids so much fucking light and happiness when I swear it felt like we'd never be happy again. All because you volunteered for this…" he grimaced as he tossed the file into a pile of finished paperwork, "this bullshit."

"We both have pretty good reasons for needing to deal with this bullshit," she reminded him. When she looked up at him again, she smiled. "I feel the same way you know. I never thought I'd feel...what I feel for you...ever. All it took was a handshake, a couple of beers, and…"

"I was there," he interrupted, grinning. "We were emotionally invested right off the bat." He winked at her as he flipped open another file, and as soon as he read the first line, the smile faded, along with the colorin his face. "Damn it," he spat, his voice finally at a volume that could be heard by more than just Olivia. "She was five," he announced. There was a waver in his voice, betraying his emotion, and he shook his head in an attempt to get back in the game.

Cassidy blinked once as he pored over his own manilla folder. "I'm sorry," he mewed. He trembled as he filled out the page, signing his name with a tremor.

There were murmured "okays" and half-hearted "no problems" and Elliot leaned in and got Olivia's attention again. Her eyes met his, and he whispered, "When we get home, I'm gonna need to…"

"Yeah," she said with a nod. "Me, too." She shifted in her seat as she turned over her file onto the pile of completed ones, and moved to grab another one. Cragen's voice stopped her, mid-grab. She looked up as Elliot's head turned, too.

"You two," Cragen said, slowly walking toward them, "I know you have a mountain of 'Fives to finish," he paused and eyed Cassidy with irritation. "I'm sure Detective Cassidy won't mind helping you out."

"What?" Cassidy yelped. "But Captain Cragen, I have to…"

"Great!" Cragen spat at him, "Knew I could count on you!" He ignored Cassidy's protests and glares as he spoke again to Olivia and Elliot. "You need to head down to Saint Claire's," he said, giving Olivia a sympathetic look.

Elliot noticed, and he sat up straighter. "Isn't that the Three-Nine's juris…"

"Not a vic, Stabler," Cragen said solemnly, and he dropped a hand to Olivia's shoulder. "It's your mom, Benson."

Olivia went stark white and shot a hand to her chest. "What?" she breathed, "What happened, is she okay?" She wobbled in her chair and as she tried to steady herself, she felt Elliot's hands on her arms. She hadn't even noticed him getting up and walking over to her.

Cragen moved so Elliot cold help her up, and he said, "All they would tell me was that she's stable, and awake," Cragen told her. "I don't know anything else." He looked at Elliot. "You take her there, you stay with her, you hear me?"

Elliot nodded. "Of course," he told Cragen. "That's my job, anyway, right?" He turned his back on Cragen before he could get a response, and he looped an arm around Olivia, helping her stand. He reached over and grabbed her coat. "I got you," he whispered to her. He held her jacket for her as she put her arms through the sleeves, and he took her hand. He led her out of the room quickly, not looking over his shoulder, at all.

He drove faster than he ever had, making sure the portable light was flashing, and he was shooting comforting words and declarations of love her way.

"This isn't the first time," she said to him, her body calming and her emotions regulating. "Just, ya know, it always...I panic." She licked her lips. "I'm all right, you don't have to…"

"I love you," he said, cutting her off, turning into the emergency entrance of Saint Claire's Hospital. He left the light on and spinning as he parked, half on the curb, in a spot reserved for police vehicles. They seemed to snap into the same synchronized deportment they usually held at work, only this time, with linked hands and pounding hearts.

As they ran toward the front desk, he saw her reaching for her badge but he was faster. Holding up the shield, he said, "Serena Benson, where is she?"

The nurse, not even flinching at the sight of his silver badge, returned her gaze to her computer. "Two cops are already…"

"Where is she?" he asked again, his voice more demanding and his eyes fierce and dark.

It caught the nurse's attention, her eyes wide as her head popped up. She pulled on the hem of her blue scrubs as she straightened up, somehow fearing her improper posture would get her arrested. "E25, down the hall, make a…"

"Thanks," he hissed, off and running with Olivia sy his side, her hand still clasped in his. They pushed passed doctors and orderlies, weaved around beds and carts, and as they slowed their run to a steady walk, they ran their eyes over each tagged marker. He finally found the right curtain and said, "Here, baby."

"Mom?" Olivia called, trying to find the edge of the thick plastic sheet. "Mom!" She grew frustrated and yanked a fistful of curtain, pushing it to the side. With a relieved sigh, she ran to the side of her mother's bed, not letting go of Elliot's hand, but wrapping her free fingers around her mother's. "What happened?" she asked, tears springing to her eyes.

Serena gave Olivia's hand a squeeze. "Just a silly little accident, sweetheart. They made far too big a deal out of it."

"No, Mom," Olivia said, dropping her mother's hand to brush her fingers gently along a purpling bruise on her cheek. "No, I think you're not making a big enough one." A tear rolled down her cheek and she sniffled. She lowered her voice, knowing that it would crack. "Were you drinking?"

Serena rolled her eyes. "I had one glass of…"

"Mom," Olivia jutted in, her eyes boring into her mother's, her lips in a flat, firm expression. It was both a warning and a plea for honesty.

Serena was quiet for a moment, almost embarrassed, as she looked at Elliot for a breath or two. She licked her dry, chapped lips, and she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She let it out on a sigh and said, "Maybe...maybe it was more than one glass."

"The triage nurse said that two cops were here," Elliot said, leaning over and resting a hand on Serena's shoulder. "Do you know where they went?"

Serena closed her eyes again, defeated. She shot a dejected look at her daughter. "I was hoping you wouldn't…"

"You thought I wouldn't find out?" Olivia asked, slightly stunned. "Ma, I'm a cop! Someone was going to tell me about this."

Nodding and licking her lips again, she said, "I know that, dear." She looked at Elliot again, despondently. "They're talking to my doctor," she said. "The said they would be right back."

"Come on, Ma," Olivia huffed, "Tell me what happened."

Elliot leaned over to her, kissed her cheek softly, and whispered, "I don't think she even remembers."

Her eyes shot to his, wide and filled with fresh tears, and a small gasp escaping her. "Oh, God, El," she wheezed. She blinked and cleared her throat, wiping her eyes with one hand and squeezing Elliot's hand with the other, but stilling when Elliot's thumbs worked under her eyes, too. She looked at him, pained, and pressed her lips together as she shook her head.

"Please," Serena almost whimpered. "Don't cry, Olivia. I'm all right, see? I'm fine."

Olivia's head whipped toward her mother, the tears she'd been trying to stave off now dripping down her cheeks like miniature waterfalls. "Mom," she sighed, slumping, her head tilting to the side, "You're not fine. You haven't been fine in…" her words cut out, but her mind finished her sentence. _Thirty years._

"I'm gonna go call the sitter," Elliot said to her, "Check on the kids." He kissed her, more deeply than before but still respectfully innocent in front of Serena. He let go of her hand and walked back out through the curtain, leaving Olivia and her mother alone.

"Livia," Serena said softly, begging her daughter to look at her. When Olivia finally looked back at her, Serena tried to smile, and she said meekly, "I'm so sorry. I don't have any control over this. I...I never have. Not really."

"Trust me," Olivia huffed almost bitterly. "I know that, better than anyone." She pulled a metal folding chair away from the side of the curtain and sat down beside her mother, taking her hand again. "Why, Mom?" she asked gently. "Why this time?" She sniffled once more. "It's not even noon, yet. What the hell were you doing drinking before noon, Ma?"

"Shh," Serena hushed, closing her eyes, "Too loud."

Olivia scoffed. "Really, Mother?" She rubbed her eyes again, and said, "You got trashed, got hurt, called me and Elliot away from a major case at work...and you want me to be mindful of your hangover?" She shook her head and asked, more demanding, "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was out with some friends, a few mimosas during brunch," Serena said, placatingly. She dropped her hand over her daughters. "I can't hold my liquor like I used to, I guess."

"Damn it, Mom," Olivia seethed, "Stop lying to me about this! It's not just going to go away if you pretend it's nothing!" She wiped her eyes again, silently cursing at them for betraying her and making her feel weak by allowing more tears to be shed. "A couple of mimosas wouldn't have caused a blackout! Shit, Mom, a whole bottle of champagne wouldn't make you…"

"Watch your language!" Serena scolded. "I didn't raise you to…"

"Raise me?" Olivia burst, her eyes now wide. "Mom, you didn't raise me, period! I raised myself, when it comes down to it!" She watched her mother shrink back and turn her eyes away, flinching with guilt. Resignedly, she sighed and lowered her voice. "I thought you quit, huh? You were going to meetings, and you were…"

"I'm having nightmares again," Serena finally confessed in a gravelly whisper. "I didn't tell you, because I don't want my daughter to think I'm weak, or that I'm losing my mind." She took a breath that seemed to make her ribs crack, and she coughed before saying, "Again."

"Liv?"

Elliot's voice stopped her from speaking, and her eyes turned slowly just before her head followed. She looked at him, standing between the drawn curtain and metal, and for a moment, she forgot where she was and why. He looked almost valiant, his long, tan trench coat resembling a cape in the dim light, his brawn more pronounced at the angle of view. She pressed her lips together when she saw him crook a finger, beckoning her to him. She shot her mother a short glance, nodding once, and then got up and walked over to him.

"I found the cops that brought her in," he said to her, his voice low, calm, soft. At any other moment, it would've been sexy. "They, uh, they told me they wanted to take her in, but when they found out she was your mother, they're uh...giving her a warning, and a hefty fine."

"Fuck," she gruffed, rubbing her forehead. "How much? I don't think she has much in her account, and I'm through enabling her non…"

"Honey," he interrupted, kissing her once. "I paid it already. It wasn't...it wasn't much," he lied.

"Charge?" she asked, her lip bitten between her teeth and one brow arched high.

He pulled her closer to him, running his hands up and down her arms. "Drunk and disorderly." He saw her eyes flicker, knowing the question in them. "Bradbury, uh, one of the cops...he said she got into a fight with the bartender when he cut her off and closed her tab, that's how she got the black eye. She left the restaurant and just...and there are witnesses to this, she, uh...stood in the middle of the road, giving drivers the finger and telling them to 'slow the fuck down."

She laughed, though it wasn't funny at all, and shook her head. "She's not usually...I swear she's been better. We've been...better." She fell into his open arms and closed her eyes as he wrapped her up in his embrace.

"I know, baby," he said to her, kissing the top of her head. "I know."

She was silent, letting him calm her, tighten his hold on her, and she asked, almost a whisper, "How are the kids?"

"Doing their homework and begging for pizza," he said with a small chuckle, resting his chin on her head. "Your mom's asleep." He said, eyeing Serena. "Cragen called, asked if everything was okay, and I...I told him it was." He looked down as she turned her head up to gaze at him. "I didn't lie to him, did I?"

She laughed, genuinely this time, and shook her head. "As long as I'm with you, El, everything's just fine." She blinked once, one final tear rolling out of the corner of her left eye. "I'm so thankful you're here."

"Where else would I be?" he queried, kissing the crown of her head again. He began to rock her in his arms, very slowly, and held her a bit tighter. "Right here, exactly where I belong."

She nodded against his chest. "I just...I used to have to deal with this, all by myself, and I...I really don't want to be alone, tonight." She slowly turned up toward him again. "You…"

His lips stopped her speaking, and a soft moan eked out of both their throats. He pulled back and said, "Baby, you'll never be alone again."

"Neither will you," she returned with a smile, but as her head dropped and her eyes landed on her broken, bruised mother, her smile faded. She had hoped that she was working toward the kind of relationship with her mother that she'd always dreamt of, close and loving. With a sigh, she promised herself, Elliot, and the four sweet angels waiting for them at home, that she would be everything that her mother wasn't, and none of what she was. "El?"

"Hmm?" he hummed, still swaying with her.

She gave into him, dancing with him to the barely audible muzak filtering in from the nurse's station. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Liv," he said with a smile, placing two fingers beneath her chin. He pulled gently, tilting her head, and he captured her lips in a deep, soul melting, kiss, and neither one noticed Serena Benson opening her eyes, watching, and smiling.

 **A/N: Tension, but does it ease? And when they get home, some time with the kids before being called back into work. You ready?**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: "You don't know about my past, and I don't have a future figured out..."**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters or basic plat, but the new spin and unique take? All mine.**

"How many slices does this make, kiddo?" Elliot asked, plopping another piece of pizza onto his son Dickie's plate.

"Dis many!" the boy said, holding up four fingers. He gave a big, toothy grin, unaware the rim of his lips was stained tomato-sauce red and small bits of cheese were stuck to his chin.

Laughing, Olivia used her own napkin to wipe his mouth. "You're hungry, huh? My hungry boy?" she cooed, and then leaned in and brushed her nose against his in a sweet "eskimo kiss."

Looking on, Elliot smiled. He never imagined he would ever love someone so deeply, so effortlessly, so wholly. His marriage, though it lasted just shy of a decade, was one of convenience, necessity, and obligation. He grew to love the woman he married, but he realized now, it was nothing like this, at all. As he licked his lips, he tried to remember how it happened, but he couldn't. It had been too instantaneous, too fast, and the line between lustful attraction and emotional dependence was no longer clear, if there had been one at all.

"Murgfl," Dickie mumbled, his cheeks puffed out and filled with pizza.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, sweetie," Olivia gently reminded, wiping his lips again.

Dickie swallowed, nodded firmly, and said, "I'm full now."

Elliot laughed at his son and then his eyes focused again on Olivia. He watched as she engaged the four children in conversation, the words "castle" and "dragon" hitting his ears, and he felt the same way as he did when she walked through the squadroom doors nearly seven months ago, turning his world and his heart upside down. The sparks that flew the instant she shook his hand still burned against his skin, and when Cragen told him she would be his partner, and he had to show her the ropes, he felt like a kid on Christmas. That feeling hadn't gone away, no, it only grew stronger.

His eyes glazed over as he remembered the series of intense conversations they'd had, how quickly they'd not only trusted each other, but formed a solid bond, and how their relationship exploded before she'd even been offered a permanent spot on the squad. There was so much he already knew about her, but so much he had yet to learn, and it thrilled him, excited him.

"Daddy!" Maureen shouted at him, "It's not polite to stare!"

"Huh?" He shook his head and laughed at himself, but he shot Olivia a look, smoke and depth behind it, and he said, "That's right, it is, I'm sorry." He leaned over to her and whispered, "But I can't help it. I love you, and I can't help but stare at you."

Olivia blushed slightly, but winked at him as she got out of her seat, and then began clearing away the empty plates. "Lizzie, Dickie, it's almost bath time. Upstairs, please, and pick out your jammies."

"Kay," Lizzie returned with a smile. The six year old hopped off of her chair and raced her twin brother up the steps.

Turning with her arms filled with plates, napkins, and empty soda cans, Olivia looked at each of the older girls. "You both finished all your homework, yes?"

"Uh huh," Kathleen said, her head bopping in an exaggerated nod. "But…" She eyed her sister with a sly smirk. "Tell her."

Maureen sighed and folded her arms, her face twisted in a classic nine year old pout. "I didn't do my math. I don't like it!" She turned her chin up and closed her eyes in protest. "It's too hard."

"Well, sweetie, go and get it," Olivia said, smiling at her. "I'll help you, and before you know it, it'll be easy peasy!" She winked at the third-grader and watched the scowl on her face slowly morph into a wide smile. She leapt off of the wooden chair and ran up the stairs like lightning.

Elliot stood, then, too, and he looked at Kathleen. "Honey, go wash up and get dressed for bed, okay?" He saw her moving and pointed his finger, warning, "And brush your teeth."

Kathleen followed her sister up the steps, and once she was out of view, Elliot moved into the kitchen, walking toward Olivia. As soon as she had thrown the trash away, he grabbed her and pulled her into his arms. He whispered her name once, kissing her fiercely, spurred by watching her with the kids, ignited by how much she loved them and treated them the way a mother would, and should. His tongue delved deeper, his hands clutched the back of her neck and then slid down to her ass, soft moans escaping when he gripped her flesh.

She rocked into him, offering up a moan of her own, and felt how rock hard and ready he was, feeling all of him through his jeans. She dug her nails into his shoulder blades when he lifted her up a bit, and she hooked her ankles, keeping her around him.

"Tell me," he moaned, "a secret." He kissed her hard again, then moved his lips down her chin, across her neck.

"God," she mewed. "Um...I took the SATs for my best friend, ya know, it was before they required three forms of ID." She cried his name softly as he bit at her pulse.

He chuckled and suckled on her skin. "Tell me another one. Deep," he bit her neck a bit harder, moaning when she whispered his name again. "Dark," he garbled with a bit of her throat in his mouth. He lifted her higher and set her down on the counter, continuing his assault on her neck.

She raked her nails up and down his scalp as she seethed and bucked her hips, and she said, with a low tone and sultry smirk. "You are the only man I've never had to fake…"

"Maaa...livia!" a small voice yelled, and soft, fast footsteps heading back down the steps broke them apart.

Elliot lowered Olivia back to the ground with a begrudging groan. He kissed her again, his pride and manhood swelling at the thought of her unfinished confession.

"Math," Olivia breathed against his lips.

"I hate math," he mumbled, kissing her. He smacked her ass hard as he stepped aside, letting her go back into the dining room to help his daughter with her homework. He exhaled slowly as he folded his arms and leaned against one of the kitchen counters, looking out through the archway. He bit his lip as the gears in his head began to turn again, and he wondered what wonderful thing he'd done to deserve her, to have God see fit to send her to him the way he had. He took another deep breath and as his lungs deflated he began to worry.

Things were moving fast, his life with her settling into something permanent, and they were taking too many chances as it was, he needed to make sure she knew how serious he was about her, and how he would stop at absolutely nothing to keep her. His eyes lit up, then, as he saw his daughter clap and laugh, and then throw her small arms around Olivia. He laughed with them as they did a little victory dance, realizing that Maureen must now fully understand whatever concept had evaded her. With another breath, he walked out of the kitchen, into the dining room, and wrapped his arms around Olivia. He kissed the crown of her head and said, "The evil homework monster was successfully defeated, I take it."

"Yup," Maureen said, holding the multiplication worksheet and her pencil as she continued dancing. "Not hard anymore." She kissed Olivia on the cheek, then shot out of the seat and hugged her father. "Night!"

"Good night, sweetheart," he said, kissing his daughter's forehead. "I'll be up in a minute."

"Okay!" she yelled over her shoulder as she ran up the stairs jauntily, singing the times-tables song Olivia had taught her.

As he chuckled, he looked down at Olivia. "You are...amazing." He rounded his back as he bent forward to kiss her, but before he could make more of it, his cell phone rang. "Not...now…" he protested, his lips still tangoing with hers.

She whimpered as he pulled back, and she watched him answer it as she got to her feet, knowing it was work related. She pulled her own phone out of her pocket as she rolled her eyes, figuring she needed to call the sitter.

"What street?" Elliot asked, heading into the downstairs bedroom to find a clean dress shirt. "Wait, that's…" he paused, listening to the man on the other end of the call babble to him. He clamped the phone between his shoulder and his ear as he pulled his Aerosmith tee shirt over his head and slipped his arms through the sleeves of his crisp, green button-down. "Yeah, I'll call her." He hung up and shoved the phone in the pocket of his jeans, and knowingly looked to his left. His breath hitched as he saw her bra-clad form, and he licked his lips as she pulled on a red blouse, wishing she was taking off her clothes instead of putting them on. He took a step toward her as he flipped down his collar. "That was Cragen," he said. "I told him I'd call you."

"I got that," she laughed.

"Ring, ring," he joked.

With a flirtatious smirk, she said, "Benson," the way she would if she'd been answering her phone.

"We gotta go," he said, dropping his head and pressing his lips to her neck. "But, God, I wish I could stay right here."

She scratched the nape of his neck lightly, and whispered, "Me, too, baby." She kissed him again and peeled herself away from him. "He's gonna get mad at you, in those jeans."

"He called when he knew I was home, and settled in for the night, he can't expect a guy with four kids under the age of ten to have the time to change three times a day." He kissed the end of her nose. "Especially if he thinks I'm doing it all by myself."

She shrunk back a bit, feeling guilty about the lies they had to tell and the secrets they had to keep. "Where are we going?" She followed him out of the bedroom and toward the front door, taking her coat from him when he grabbed if off of the rack.

He pulled on his long trench as he coughed a bit and said, "West Fifty-Fourth Street." He put his hand on the knob of the door and looked into Olivia's eyes. "Crunch Fitness."

She furrowed her brow. "Isn't that the gym that…"

"Academy training," he interrupted with a nod, and he opened the door almost as soon as their babysitter rang the doorbell. He turned to her, trying to smile despite the clear tension he felt now. "Thanks, Jul…"

The girl held up a hand before he even finished saying her name. "Told you before, no need to thank me. Happy to do it!" She breezed past them and plopped her bag and books down on the coffee table. "Where are the little rugrats?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Upstairs," Olivia laughed. "The twins should be ready for baths, Kathleen and Maureen should both be just about ready for bed. They're gonna want a bedtime…"

"Story, right, got it!" Julie said clapping her hands together once. "I'll go get the mini-squirts washed up and I'll call you when i get them in their beds so you can say goodnight."

Elliot smiled warmly at the young lady, and he nodded as he said, "That means a lot. Thanks." He reached out a hand and set the alarm, ushered Olivia through the door, and locked it behind him. "Tucker's meeting us there," he said as they walked down the side steps to the driveway. He clicked the button on the key fob to unlock the car and sighed, "Officer involved…"

"Oh, Christ," she spat with a grimace, getting into the car. "The perp or the vic?"

Elliot held her gaze over the car, both of their hands still on the handles of their open doors. "Both."

 **A/N: Wha? Oh no!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: "And maybe this is going too fast…"**

 **DISCLAIMER: Don't sue me, Dick Wolf. And LBH I know you and your writers have read fanfic before, you can only steal my ideas if you DO IT RIGHT *harsh glare***

"Benson," Tucker's voice called over the murmurs and chatter of the cops and medics. He met them at the curb, before Olivia had even closed the car door. "I didn't think you'd be here, tonight."

She looked at Elliot, her eyes asking questions, and then she voiced one with a sideways glance at Tucker. "You didn't think so because…?"

Tucker cleared his throat and then sighed, his heated breath fogging as it hit the icy night air. "Your mother," he said with a small shrug, his navy blue windbreaker creasing as his arms moved. "How is she?"

Again, her eyes darted to Elliot, and then dropped toward the ground. "Um, fine, now. Thanks. She, uh, bruised her ego more than anything else. Thanks." She pulled two pairs of latex gloves out of her pocket, handing none to Elliot without even looking at him, and as she tugged one over her fingers, she jutted her chin in the direction of the gym doors. "What do you know, so far?"

Tucker turned, pointing, and took another deep breath. "Apparently, one of the COs got grabby with a female recruit, she got defensive...it set him off, and, uh, tried to assert his authority, if you know what I mean." He looked back at Olivia, then at Elliot. "I can't get the details until you get 'em first. Protocol. But...so you know...there are witnesses." He leaned into them. "Son of a bitch wanted some of the rookies to watch."

Elliot cringed, feeling slightly ill, and shook his head as he started walking toward the entrance.

"How old is she?" Olivia asked, sidestepping her way between a few chatting uniforms and through the doors. She knew Elliot and Tucker were right behind her. She had a heat in her eyes, an almost-forgotten memory hidden in the smoke.

Tucker coughed once before he said, "Twenty," and pushed his way in front of her to lead her toward the epicenter of the chaos. "Stabler, you take the perp, Benson, get what you can out of the vic, and ride with her, huh?"

"Of course," Olivia said with a nod, and she punched Elliot in the shoulder, her way of saying _Go get 'em, Tiger,_ as they turned in opposite directions. He walked down a short hall toward a group of waiting cops, flanking a man in a grey NYPD sweat-suit and cuffs. She headed into the locker room, where a pair of EMTs were strapping the terrified young woman onto a rolling stretcher.

This was the part they hated most, when the job split them up, the moments when they needed to be in two places at once dictated that they had to spend a few hours apart. It meant that he would be quick to lose control, his temper short and intense, without her there to calm him. It meant that she would be more apt to feel, her empathetic nature absorbing the emotions of the victim, the family, the doctors and nurses, and he wouldn't be there to give her stability.

Their brief separations were a necessary evil, though, and often marked the moments they made their case. The moments spent apart made them stronger, proved that they were just as stellar individually as they were together, that any doubts that lay dormant, any small misgivings about how fast things between had started and cemented, were all fucking insignificant. They were going to last, together, always, professionally and personally, so help them God.

On Elliot's part, it was an hour and a half of brute force and intimidation, slowly chipping away at the layers of facade the bastard cop had built up. A one man show performed in the presence of the asshole and Sergeant Ed Tucker, with an audience of three behind plate glass. A carefully crafted monologue, leading to the perp's reply, a play-by-play of events that felt more like a letter to _Penthouse_ than a confession.

For Olivia's contribution, it was an hour-long conversation of tears and terror, shame and strength, anger and admission. Another thirty-five minutes spent in an uncomfortable chair in a stark, sterile hospital waiting room, resulting in a few brown paper bags filled with hair, buccal swabs, Q-Tips stained with blood and other bodily fluids, nail clippings, photographs, and X-Ray images of a truly broken girl who had lost the will to finish what she'd started at the New York Police Academy.

The two sides of the coin came back together in the squadroom of the One-Six, each carrying a yellow folder under one arm, and two cups of coffee, one in each hand. They stood in front of their twin desks and stared at each other, sharing secret smiles and winks. Wordlessly, they dropped the coffees held in their left hands to the surface of each other's desk, and a short, soft laugh passed between them.

"What'd you find out?" she asked him, sipping the coffee kept in her right hand as she tossed the folder onto her desk.

He sipped his coffee, too, as he made an irritated face. "Bastard thought he was teaching her a lesson, making sure all of his recruits 'knew their place,' so he says."

Olivia scoffed. "Who the hell…"

He held up a hand. "Before I tell you, I need to ask…" he paused to take another sip of his coffee, his throat suddenly very dry. He swallowed as his eyes scanned the length of her body, up her legs, toned and strong beneath her black flared slacks. "When you were in the academy, you, uh...you didn't have a problem with any of your superiors, did you?" He brought the foam cup to his lips again, his eyes trained on her shirt, and he hid his smirk well. He couldn't help thinking about the bra under the shirt, the perfect pair of breasts that lay shielded by the fabric. He squeezed his eyes shut and snapped back to professional thoughts, swallowed hard, and asked, "None of them ever tried anything with you?"

She shook her head as she swallowed a mouthful of coffee. "Not once," she said. "I was too hard a shell to crack, right off the bat. I guess they knew...I wasn't an easy target. They wouldn't have gotten very far if they tried." She tilted her head, then, and something hit her. "Why did you ask?"

He bit his lip and held his coffee cup a little tighter, and slowly held his file out to her. He lowered his voice and said, "Baby, listen to me. You can't react, at all, when you read that. Cragen'll bench you without a second thought."

She nodded once, sipped her coffee, and let the folder fall open. She read the top of the first page, the facts and basic information, and her eyes widened. Stifling a curse, she turned to Elliot, confused. "Shit! Cragen probably knows he was one of my COs, it's all in my jacket! Hell, it's public record, anyway!"

He took the file back from her as he licked his lips. "Maybe...maybe it won't even matter. I got a pretty solid confession out of the bastard, and Tucker said that he wouldn't be getting any of the standard, um, what did he call it?" He thought for a moment as he lifted his cup to his lips. "Professional courtesy," he spat as he sipped.

"Cragen should know by now…" she ran her tongue over her dry lips, and with her free hand, she dug around in her pocket for ChapStick. "I can compartmentalize better than anyone. I mean, I'm fucking here, at work, while my mother is in the fucking hospital! I got four kids at home who've missed goodnight kisses more often than…"

"He doesn't know that," Elliot interrupted, raising a finger. "I'd like to keep it that way so lower the volume, huh, kid?" He smirked as he downed the last sip of his first coffee, his heart swelling because she'd just referred to his kids in a tone and manner that made them seem like her own.

She ran her fingers through her hair like a comb, her nails separating wavy strands and taming flyaways. She exhaled slowly and moved to sit down, but just as she pulled her chair back, away from her desk, Tucker came through the unit doors. "Fucking terrific," she hissed, tossing her empty cup into the trash bin. It landed on top of Elliot's, and she smiled for a moment.

"The two of you…" Tucker pointed to each of them twice, "You compared notes on this, right?"

Elliot nodded, leaning back in his chair. He swiveled it slightly to face Tucker. "I told her what I got. She was, uh, just about to tell me what she found out when you came in looking like you just had to arrest your own mother."

Rolling his eyes, Tucker folded his arms. "Such a wiseass," he mumbled. He took a breath and asked, "Where'd you take the kit?"

"Oh, I dropped it off at the GoodWill," Olivia said rather seriously, but seeing the almost angry look on Tucker's face, she narrowed her eyes. "I took it to the lab! What'd you think?"

"Right, yeah," Tucker said with a sigh and shake of his head. "I just…" he exhaled harshly through his nose. "I feel responsible. I feel like I fed this...this poor girl to the wolves." He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

Elliot sht a confused look toward Olivia and then raised a brow at Tucker. "How could you have possibly had a hand in this?"

Tucker coughed once before he spoke. "I got a phone call...a few days ago." He exhaled and his chest rattled, he dropped his arms and shrugged, defeated. "Grodan, a guy in admin at the academy. He said there was an issue with a few first-years, they were uncooperative and belligerent, and the group of them needed to be split up before it escalated." He raised his hands and shrugged again. "He wanted advice, and I said...I told him to give the biggest problems to McDowell, because he gets through to them, makes them stronger, makes them...tougher...but better."

Olivia bit her lip and nodded, remembering how McDowell had pushed her buttons, pushed her to her limits, but in a way that made her grow, that did make her better.

"God, I didn't think he was doing it like this," Tucker breathed, closing his eyes and rolling his neck. "When you get the lab reports back, I need to know...first."

Elliot and Olivia shared a glance, and one nodded at the other. "You will be," she said to the pale and shaking sergeant. "And Tucker?" She waited until his pained eyes looked up at her, a vulnerable side she rarely saw shining behind them. "This wasn't your fault."

Tucker took a quick breath and nodded. "I needed to hear that," he almost whispered. "Thanks, Benson." He dropped his chin again, the closest thing to a smile he could give was playing at his lips, and he turned and walked out of the squadroom.

"Son of a bitch," Elliot spat, reaching for the coffee Olivia had bought for him. "Making us think he's human, after all." He was about to speak again, when the desk on Olivia's phone rang. He screwed up his face and sipped as he watched her answer it.

"Benson," she said, listening. "Already? But I just…" she raised both brows. "Okay, we'll be right down." She hung up and looked at Elliot. "Ryan's got something he thinks we need to see."

"Now?" He seemed shocked. "But you only just…"

"That's what I said," Olivia interrupted. She grabbed her coffee and said, "Either McDowell lied to you, or the girl lied to me."

Elliot walked with her toward the open doors. "Kit was negative?"

"No, it positive," she said as they headed for the elevator, "But DNA wasn't a match to McDowell."

The pair slid into the box, matching confused looks on their faces, hoping what the lab had found wouldn't derail the case, or the evening they had planned.

 **A/N: An end to this case? An evening at home, and a visit with Serena. And another taken chance? You bet! But who takes it?**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: "And maybe it's not meant to last..."**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters or basic plat, but the new spin and unique take? All mine.**

"My head is pounding, my vision is blurry, my back is killing me, I am not in the mood for any of your shit, Tucker," Olivia tossed, pointing a manicured finger at the man.

Elliot, either unconcerned by Tucker's presence or just unable to keep from worrying, looked at her over his shoulder. "Your back wouldn't be hurting if you didn't tackle a man twice your size and roll down a flight of subway steps." He raised an eyebrow. "You didn't even…"

"I'm fine," she spat, "And he wasn't that big." She eyed Tucker again, folding her arms over the white NYPD emblazoned on her dark blue tee-shirt, something she only had to wear because her button-down was torn and bloody now, in an evidence bag on a lab table. "You came to us, you felt guilty, we need to know who else was in that locker room. Who are you protecting?"

Tucker shook his head. "I'm not, I swear," he croaked, his throat dry. He rocked slightly in his chair, and his lips were moving even though he wasn't saying anything. "I wouldn't protect anyone, not...not like this, not from something like this." He dragged his sweating palm down his pale face, and he cleared his throat. "I thought it was McDowell, I thought it was my...my fault."

Elliot huffed and finally turned around, glaring at Tucker. His white dress shirt was rumpled, his top buttons undone, the sleeves pushed up above his elbows, and his arms were crossed, making each of his tattoos bigger as his muscles tensed and bulged. "You know who McDowell is protecting, is what she means." He took a step forward, his heavy footfalls echoing off the stone walls of the interrogation room. "He lied to us. Gave a full confession, but it was all complete bullshit, now why would a good cop...a fucking great commander...throw away his career, his freedom?"

Tucker cleared his throat again. "I don't know, Elliot," he almost whispered. "Why don't you go ask him?"

"There are only five people in the entire universe I would protect like that," Elliot proffered, "Five people I would kill for, die for, confess to something I didn't do...to keep them from facing the consequences." He leaned over, both hands now on the table, curling around the metal edges. "My girl and my kids," he expressed through gritted teeth.

"Girl?" Tucker shot his eyes up. "You mean Kathy?"

Rolling his eyes, Elliot gave a hard, "No. Not Kathy."

Tucker furrowed his brow, unable to figure out when the hell Kathy had been taken out of the equation, and why Elliot didn't tell him when it happened. He looked up again, then. "What about her?" he thumbed at Olivia. "You wouldn't kill or die for your partner?"

Elliot chuckled, bitterness in the laugh. "Of course I would," he said, so simply, but he knew Tucker was in no state of mind to put together that his partner was his girl. "But McDowell doesn't have a partner, his wife left him eight years ago, his girlfriend is a waitress…" he tilted his head. "He only has daughters. So I'm at a loss, here. Who is he…"

"Maybe he's not protecting someone out of love," Olivia interrupted, standing up and grinning. "McDowell's afraid of someone. So are you." She walked slowly around the table, her smirk growing sinister. "Someone finally threatened to cut off your tail with a carving knife, huh? That it?"

"I'm not a rat, Benson!" Tucker snapped, "I thought you both knew that! I do my job, end of story, when I'm off the clock, we're friends! Or...I thought we were!"

Elliot leaned over, lowered his voice, and said, "We are friends, Eddie, but this is serious, and I need you to take your tail out from between your legs, give us a name. No one's gonna hurt you, buddy. Me and Liv? We got this," he slapped Tucker's shoulder and squeezed lightly.

Tucker bit his lip and nodded. "I really thought it was him, I swear, I wasn't…"

"We know," Olivia said, softening her tone, "You're not in any kind of trouble, here, you just need to tell us who McDowell could possibly feel compelled to…"

"The COT," Tucker finally ground out, throwing his hands up. "The only person who could have that kind of pressure on McDowell's balls is him. Fuck, I don't know for sure, but it's the only logical answer, because you said it all, none of the people he would willingly protect could've done this."

"Training Chief," Olivia mumbled, biting her lip, a memory rising to the surface fast but being pushed back down just as quickly. "Is that still Henderson?"

Tucker closed his eyes and nodded. "Don't make fools out of yourselves," he said, swallowing back a cuss. "You investigate, but don't you dare step into shit unless you've got a shovel, you hear me? If we're wrong,here, Henderson will end you. All of us."

"I'll tell Ryan to run the DNA through the system, against the internal database," Olivia declared, heading for the door. "You, go back in there and get the truth from McDowell." She grinned. "And later, you have to tell me about this girl you'd take a murder rap for, huh?"

Elliot chuckled, shaking his head, and watched her go. He was whipped, completely, and he didn't feel an ounce of guilt or shame about it.

After McDowell told the truth, under extreme emotional duress he claims, they hauled Chief Henderson into the pen and watched as one of the most intimidating men in the NYPD shattered into tiny bits. The interrogation only took ten minutes, once Olivia tossed the photo of the bruised young woman in front of him. She leaned closer to him as he stared down at the purple eyes and red cheeks of someone he swore to look after, and she reminded him of the time she had walked in on him, with a recruit, and stopped what could have been another horrible trauma. "You've been doing this for years," she glared at him, flattened her lips into a thin grin, and said, "It ends now."

It was quick, but painful, and the car ride home was deafeningly silent. The only reasons she was even aware that she wasn't alone in the car were she wasn't driving, and she felt his hand wound tightly around hers. When the car pulled into the driveway, she let out a heavy breath.

"You okay?" he asked, only dropping her hand for a moment, to unhook his seatbelt. He pulled her fingers into his palm again. "Baby?"

"Just thinking," she said, staring out the window. Her eyes focused on the blue aluminum siding of the porch, the flag hanging on its pole, the swinging bench that held so many memories that were so fresh but seemed so long ago already. "I have a life with you...that I honestly never imagined having with anyone." She turned her head, her eyes gazed into his. "You know about my childhood, my mother...what happened to her. You and Cragen...are the only ones at work who know."

"I know," he said softly, his thumb grazing the side of her palm as he clutched her hand.

"That's why," she began. "I grew up believing that I was damaged goods, that love didn't exist for me, and anything resembling it would only hurt, and break, and end. I became a cop, yeah, for the reasons you already know, but also...because I thought it would keep me from ever having to get too close, from bringing kids into this...dark fucking world, no matter how much I wanted them, so I would never have to face what I might be passing down, face what...what I might make them."

He lifted his free hand, swiped his thumb under her eyes, and gave her the most adoring look that had ever crossed his face. "Liv," he breathed.

"I'm not done," she cut off anything he might have said. "Then I walked into the One-Six, I met you, and everything I thought I knew, that I forced myself to believe, went right out the fucking window," she laughed. "You made me feel things, for the first time. You made me smile like no one ever had before, or will again, except you and the kids. You learned everything about me, and you stayed, and you still loved me in spite of it all, and I…"

"Not in spite of," he interrupted. "Because of." He kissed her nose. "Where is all this coming from, honey?"

"Tonight," she exhaled, running her finger tips up and down his arms, "When you told Tucker that you would kill, die, confess to something you didn't do…" she looked into his eyes and smiled at him. "I would do the same damn thing, and I wanted you to know...you needed to know...that I swear, on everything I have, that I feel the exact same way about you." She kissed him softly. "Unless, that girl you were talking about isn't me, in which case…"

Her words were stopped by his kiss, powerful and strong, deep and emotional. He ran his hands through her hair as he kissed her, and when he pulled away he whispered, "It's a first for me, too." He saw the surprise in her eyes and laughed. "Honey, my marriage to Kathy...those vows...neither of us really meant them. She was pregnant, her father was extremely old-fashioned and religious, and he had a rifle."

Olivia laughed a bit too loudly at that, but her forehead still pressed against his. "So you're telling me…"

"That you...you are the first person to whom I have ever said 'Till death do us part,' and meant it with every fiber of my being," he moved, kissing her again. "But if I'm being honest, not even death could keep me from loving you."

She kissed him slowly, breathing him in as their mouths fought and danced. She remembered when he'd said those words, laying with her in bed, wrapped in him, skin to skin, and he whispered to her: _I promise, to love, honor, obey, cherish, defend and protect you, my partner in the field, in life, till death do us part._ Her heart gave a heavy thud, her brain cried with need for oxygen, and she pulled back with a slow breath. "Ditto," she said with a light laugh. The same way she responded to him then, only with less tears, and more clothes. "We should get in there, see the kids, eat something…"

"Yeah," he sighed, and he got out of the car, ran to her side, and opened her door for her. He took her hand again, leading her up the porch steps, and he turned his key and pushed open the door.

Four little voices hit their ears, cries of "daddy" and something mumbled, as tiny bodies rushed toward them. The laughter that filled the room was boisterous, purely happy. Each lifting two kids up in their arms, Olivia and Elliot headed for the staircase. Elliot dropped his two older daughters gently to the floor and said, "Go up with Olivia, okay? I'll be right there."

"For real, this time?" Maureen looked up at her father with worried eyes.

Elliot knelt to eye-level with her, and he kissed her cheek. "I promise."

Maureen turned with a smile and pulled her sister up the steps, following Olivia who held the twins as she climbed.

Chuckling, Elliot tuned, shoving his hand in his pocket. "Jules, honey, I'm so sorry we've been running you ragged, haven't we?" He flipped open his wallet, pulled out a stack of flat, straight bills, anc counted out the amount he owed the sitter. "Three days, and a little extra for...putting up with us."

"Hey, Mister S," Julie said with a humble sincerity, "No worries, Sir. Your kids aren't any trouble, and they stay busy when I'm doing my schoolwork. You got some pretty sweet, pretty smart, little guys, and I really don't mind. Besides, you and Missus S, you're cops. You're doing God's work, when He can't, and if I can make it easier for you, then I'm more than happy to do it."

With tears in his eyes, he slapped another twenty dollar bill into the young woman's hand, and walked her to the door. He set the alarm when she left, and then bolted up the stairs, making it into Maureen and Kathleen's room just as Olivia sat on the edge of Maureen's bed, a large book in her hands.

Lizzie and Dickie were sitting cross-legged on the carpeted floor, eagerly anticipating their first bedtime story in a week.

"What are we performing tonight?" Elliot asked, sitting beside Olivia and kissing her cheek.

Olivia flipped the pages and said, "The Tale of Tommy the Terrified Tiger," with an over-exaggerated enthusiasm that made the four kids excited. She held out the book and Elliot began to read.

"One fine fall day in Juniper Jungle, Tommy Tiger was getting ready for his first day of school," he paused so Olivia could show the kids the picture, and then continued. "He had been so excited all summer long, and thought about all of the fun he would have learning to roar and hunt with his friends. Today, though, he wasn't so excited anymore."

Olivia showed each smiling face the picture, and then she picked up where Elliot left off. "As he packed his knapsack, he began to worry. 'What if the other cubs don't like me? What if they make fun of my crooked stripes, or my thin tail?' he wondered." Her cell phone buzzed in her pocket, and she kissed Elliot softly as she shoved the book into his lap and got off of her corner of the mattress. She walked out into the hall, Elliot's voice fading into distance, and she pulled her phone out of her pocket, praying it wasn't a call into work.

She sighed, seeing the name and number on the screen, and she answered it with closed eyes. She leaned against the wall as she said, "Hi, Mom." She shook her head. "No, no, I'm fine. How are you feeling? Mom, you haven't been...because I need to ask, you never call me unless you need…" She inhaled through her nose, exhaled through her mouth, staying calm. "All right, fine. I'm sorry. What? Who are you...oh, Elliot? He's…" she rolled her eyes, now knowing her mother was, in fact, drunk, and had just lied to her. "Mom, Elliot isn't like that, he's not just some...no, Mom! I will not let you talk about him, and my relationship, and my family…" she chuckled. "Family. Yeah. Kids. Four of them. Maybe you would have if you weren't so damn shitfaced all the time!" She hung up and turned, dropping her head against the wall.

She felt his hands on her shoulders, moaned when he rubbed out the tension and pressed his thumbs into the center of her anxious muscles. "You all right?" he asked, bending his head. He kissed the back of her neck and felt her tremble in his hands. "The kids were asleep...they didn't hear…"

"Oh, thank God," she breathed, sniffling.

"I heard you, though," he whispered, kissing a small spot behind her ear. "You told her that the kids were…"

"I know what I told her," she snapped, but he knew it wasn't directed at him, and she continued after he kissed the corner of her chin. "She won't even remember any part of that conversation in the morning. Trust me."

He turned her around, kissed her lips sweetly, his hands still rubbing her shoulders. "I'll remember it," he told her, looking into her eyes.

Something in them, she would swear it, had never been there before, hadn't existed until now. "I'm sorry, I...I was trying to get under her skin, make her feel…"

He stopped her with another kiss, harder, more insistent. "You don't know," he panted, "What it means to me, to have heard you say that. To hear the words come out of your mouth. Your family, your kids…" he kissed her again, his tongue entreating for entrance and being granted it. He moaned into her mouth, catching her soft cry of his name, and he pulled away with a regretful whimper. "What if...what if it..." he cleared his throat. "What if it was true?"

She tilted her head. "How could it possibly be…" and then her eyes widened, she stood straight up along with every hair on her body, and she gasped. "Are you...Elliot, you can't be serious, we haven't…"

"You heard Maureen the other day, baby," he cut her off with a smile, his hands moving from her shoulders to the tops of her breasts. He cupped them, but didn't squeeze, as he said, "She was going to call you 'Mom,' you heard it, I heard it." He smoothed his hands down her body and rested them on her hips. "They were calling you 'Mom,' when we came home, tonight. And 'mommy,' and 'ma,' and I didn't correct them. Julie thinks you're their mother and she's been their sitter for two fucking years, so tell me, how the fuck is it too soon?" He kissed her as his hands wound around her and grabbed her ass, pulling her tighter to him, hiking her up a bit. "Baby, I'll call my lawyer in the morning, have papers drawn up, I want this, and I want you, and God, so do the kids."

She blinked, feeling her pulse quicken and then slow, slower than she could ever remember it being, and she smiled. There was that unknown light in his eyes again, pulling the very same thing out of the depths pf her soul, bringing it to life in her own eyes. "If you're sure this is...this is what you want."

"If you don't…" he swallowed hard, worried, a little scared.

Her answer was a soft kiss, one that made him laugh against her lips, pick her up fully, carry her into the bedroom blindly, and shut the door with his foot.

They weren't going to sleep, no, but they would exhaust themselves soon enough. And when sleep did come, it would bring beautiful dreams about the future they didn't know they'd already planned, and in the morning, they'd take a chance that would change their lives in such amazing ways, but not without consequences.

 **A/N: Ohhhhh. Wanna know what happens?**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: "So what do you say to taking chances ..."**

 **DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns the characters and base storyline, but narrative and dialogue belong to me, please and thank you.**

"This is worse than the shit we have to fill out for HR," Olivia mumbled, slapping her pen down on her desk and reaching for a bottle of White-Out. "Fucking personal questions, why the hell do they need to know…"

"Because those forms decide whether or not you get legal guardianship, parental rights, and the blessed responsibility of raising four kids," Elliot interrupted, hiding the smile on his face with a hand. He thought her nerves were adorable. "They have to know...everything." He eyed her seriously, but his smile was still warm, loving. "What's got you so…"

She tossed the stapled packet of papers to him, cutting off his words.

He looked down at the page she'd been attempting to fill out, and he closed his eyes, hurt. "Damn, baby," he whispered. "I'm sorry, I didn't think they would need so much information about him on this." He inhaled as he held the papers out to her again.

She took them, picked up her pen, and sat back as she resumed filling in the blanks where she could. "I know why they need the information, I do, but...I just don't have it to give them." She smiled, then. "Good thing my job, my record, and a few character references can make up for all the empty spaces on this page, huh?"

He laughed and nodded, and then tilted his head, staring at her with tenderness in his eyes. "You can sign permission slips, now," he told her, and then he chuckled and spoke faster. "You can go to the mother-daughter tea parties and the mother-son dances, you can go to parent-teacher conferences with me, join the PTA, and chaperone field trips, you can...love them, as much as you do, and not feel like it's wrong."

Her eyes dragged upward from the papers to his face, and she melted into a puddle of emotion. Tears threatened to spill over, the burn behind her nose began to really intensify, but with a sniffle and a light laugh, she nodded. Unable to trust her voice, she bent her head and continued filling out the forms that, once filed and processed, would make her one step closer to legally being a mother. To Elliot's children.

"Oh, um," his tone had changed, his eyes had lost a bit of their light, and his smile had shortened itself. "You may want to file your insurance and personnel stuff directly through HR, we can ask for discretion." When her head popped up again, he gazed at her with an ominous haze in his eyes. "Cragen shouldn't, uh, know about this. Not...not right now."

"Yeah, no shit," she gibed, raising one eyebrow. She shook her head and went back to writing, oblivious to the woman striding up to Elliot's desk. A throat cleared, and she let out a frustrated noise as she looked up, yet again. "I'm never gonna fucking finish this," she spat, running one hand through her hair. "What's up, Jeffries?"

"Morning," Jeffries greeted brightly. She was grinning broadly at Elliot, leaning over to one side, dragging the pendant on her necklace up and down the chain. Her curly hair was twisted into a knot at her neck, her yellow dress shirt and brown pants wrinkled as she moved, and she chuckled a few times, still staring at him.

He glanced at her, just out of the corners of his eyes, and his right brow popped up as his lips pursed to the left. "What?" he grunted.

Jeffries gave him a tilt of her head and a narrow-eyed leer. "Is she pretty? Well, yeah, she would have to be if you're with her."

"Excuse me?" he questioned, turning his chair in her direction, both eyebrows now twisted.

"She's probably younger than you, too," Jeffries stated, her head bobbing affirmatively. "You'd be able to rob a cradle, yeah? Let me guess. She likes it rough. Bites? Scratches? Calls you 'daddy?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he snapped, now confused and irritated.

Jeffries let the hand around her pendant drop to point at him, and she moved closer to him, bent down, and whispered, "You may want to invest in a turtleneck or two." Cold fingers moved fast, dragging over the interestingly shaped, maroon colored bruise on his neck.

Olivia's nostrils flared as she let out an almost silent growl. "That's not a hickey," she bit, her jaw tight. "When we were chasing down Thomson last night, before we brought Tucker down here, the son of a bitch tried to choke him!" She scraped her teeth over her bottom lip, watching as Jeffries straightened up and the smirk on her face turned to dread. "I hit him in the head with the butt of my gun, he dropped Elliot and ran. I ran after him, pounced, took him for a thrilling ride down the 89th street station steps." Her eyes flickered, with something between jealousy and rage. Maybe it was both. "My back still fucking hurts and my shoulder's swollen, thanks for asking! You do know why El and I had to go after that asshole, hmm?"

Realization hit Jeffries, so did regret and remorse, and her eyes fluttered closed. "I am so…"

"Don't," Olivia stopped her from apologizing. "You and Cassidy clearly had something more important to do than, oh, your job." She let her head fall just a bit to one side as a satisfied glare illuminated her eyes. "You, uh, you thought he was with a girl?" She pressed her lips together, finding humor and irony in this, "You think he'd enjoy biting and scratching...and with a girl who'd call him 'daddy,' really?"

"None of us have seen Kathy in a while," Jeffries said with a shrug. She walked over to her desk and sat down, kicked up her feet, and cleared her throat. "I thought...I thought she was out of the picture, and maybe he met someone, got laid. Shit, he could use it." Her laugh was acerbic. "We all could."

Olivia looked across the desk at Elliot, and she couldn't help the proud grin on her face. She licked her lips and lowered her eyes slightly, wagging her brows at him once. "I know you love biting and scratching, but, uh, I'm only ever calling you 'daddy' if it's a matter of life and death." She thought about it and gave him a wicked smirk. "Of if you asked nicely."

He chuckled, shaking his head at her. Dropping his voice to a whisper, he spoke. "Now, you know! Baby, if you're gonna leave marks, you have to do it below the neck."

"Oh, I think I can do better than that," she whispered back to him. She bent forward a bit. "I'll leave them all below the waist." Hearing him whimper, watching him squirm in his chair, filled her with a sense of accomplishment. She sent a sideways glance at Jeffries, who was now lost in paperwork, and then blew him a kiss.

He blew one back, winking, too, and said, "That was a solid save, by the way." He splayed his palms out on his desk and moved even closer to her, eager to tell her something personal, but Cragen's voice bounced into the room from the hallway.

"Munch! Cassidy!" Cragen shouted, storming into the room.

"They're not here," Elliot shouted back. "You got me and Liv…" he scowled. "And Jeffries." He couldn't place it, but something about her seemed off lately, and she was getting under his skin.

Cragen looked around. "Why the hell…" he gave an annoyed grunt. "Jeffries, call those two nimrods, get them down here, now!" He stormed over to Olivia and Elliot, his black tie swaying as he walked, and he started to hand Elliot a folded piece of paper.

Elliot noticed he'd stopped midway, and he offered up an expectant expression. "We'll take it, Cap, you don't have to…"

"You match," Cragen cut in, his eyes moving fast from Elliot to Olivia and back again. "Your tie matches her shirt. It's the exact same fucking color." He squinted to see if he could discern any difference between the shades of purple staring back at him. "Are they...are they the same fucking material, too?"

Olivia balked, but she tried to serve a plausible excuse as she shoved her forms into a blue folder on her desk. "His kids gave me this shirt for Christmas," she shrugged. "And they probably bought that tie for him, in the same place, at the same time." It wasn't a lie. They did. She helped them pay. "It's not like we call each other in the morning and plan our outfits, Cap." She bit her lip. She wasn't going to tell him they did coordinate outfits, but not over the phone. They did it in the same room, naked.

"No, uh, I didn't think you did," he cleared his throat and finally slapped the assignment into Elliot's palm. "It just...makes you look married or some shit." He shook his head. "You get this one solved, fast, hear me?"

"Because it usually takes us _soo_ long," Elliot jibed, rolling his eyes.

"I'm not kidding." Cragen's eyes were narrow, severe. His face was not belaying any trace of mirth or humor. "And you two need to fucking be on the top of your game, utmost professionalism. There's a reason I didn't want you on this."

Elliot looked at him with a few question marks on his face.

"The vic," Cragen sighed, rubbing his forehead. He lowered his voice and spoke pointedly to Elliot. "It's Liv's old riding partner. Handle with care, huh?" He shot a worried glance toward Olivia, a warning one back at Elliot, and then headed back into his office as Elliot unfolded and read the slip.

"Um, Liv?" Elliot hazarded, watching her get up and grab her jacket. "I need you to stay calm," he said as he held up the paper.

She snapped her head up, her eyes wide. "Oh, God, who is…its not my mom, again, is it?"

He shook his head, his tongue swiping between his pressed together lips and his eyes closed. When he opened his eyes, he gave her the paper.

The name of their victim glared up at her, almost taunting her, and she gave a single disbelieving laugh. "I knew things in my life were just going too damn great," she complained bitterly. "But this isn't gonna be a problem. I haven't even seen her in…"

"Yeah, I know that," Elliot interrupted, walking with her through the doors as he pulled on his coat. "She's still a friend. You know her, or...you used to know her."

"We got through the academy together, worked the same beat for a while." She pushed by people in the hallway, making her way to the elevator with Elliot right behind her. "We were hardly friends." She punched the button in the wall, grunting. "Another fucking cop. Does this mean Tucker is…"

"No, uh," he pulled the paper out of her still clenched fist, "Says here she quit six months ago. Couldn't handle the job anymore." He took a long look at her, staring as the elevator doors opened. He ushered her into the box and pressed his thumb against the button for the lobby.

"Man," she breathed, folding her arms, "I heard Cragen. He said he wasn't gonna give this to us because, what, I spent a year in a cruiser with her? He really doesn't think I can do this job if I know the…"

"Honestly," he cut in again, and he leaned toward her, "I think he just understands how compassionate you are, and how you feel protective of everyone in your life. He knows, I mean...we all know she wasn't anything like me, you weren't as close to her, but she was still your partner. Your first, and that's something that…" he cleared his throat. "It's understandable he'd be concerned. It doesn't mean he doesn't trust you to do your job."

Her head turned and she looked at him, nodding with a sigh. The elevator dinged and the doors opened, and she gave him a relaxed smile as she led him out into the lobby. "Sorry," she mumbled, squeezing the bridge of her nose. "I'm just...dealing with a lot. This bullshit with my mom, getting called into work every night, we haven't spent enough time with the kids, or each other for that matter. We haven't been getting enuogh sleep, and those…" she huffed as she pushed the front doors open. "Those forms, reminding me that there's half of my life that's still missing."

He reached for and tugged on her hand, pulling her toward him, just before they reached their car. "Not half, baby," he whispered. "It's not half. Not even close...and not knowing anything about your father, that doesn't change or negate who you are, what you've become." He smiled at her and breathed easier when she smiled back. "There's my girl," he chuckled, winking at her.

"You always know," she sighed, shaking her head.

"Well, yeah," he grinned and nodded. He unlocked the car, but before he opened his door, he caught her eyes again. "You always know, too. That's why we are...where we are. Why you've got adoption papers on your desk, why my kids love you so much." He exhaled. "Why I love you, more than anything."

As she fanned her face with one hand, she opened her door with the other. "Not fair," she chuckled, tears made of love and happiness welled up in her eyes but she composed herself before they fell. She blew him a kiss as she got into the car.

He laughed, settling into the driver's seat. He started the car, pulled out of the parking space, and was about to ask her a question, when her voice stopped him.

"I, uh, I never asked, last night. Where was Kathy?" she asked, gnawing slightly on the inside of her cheek.

"What? When?" One of his eyebrows rose to an interesting height as he drove out into the street.

"You said Julie's been the sitter for the kids for two years, and she's never met Kathy." She sighed and looked at him. "Where the hell was she, because, fuck, I've only been in your life a few months, and can't stand being away from you. Well, she fucking had you...for years...and…"

"She worked overnight shifts a few times a week," he said, laughing, loving her furious jealousy and mild possessiveness. "I would call Julie when I had to go in late, because Kathy would already be gone. Julie would get the kids off to school, be out of the house before Kathy got home." He reached one hand over to her, running his fingers through her hair. "You're so fucking adorable," he chuckled.

Her phone rang before she could deny her cuteness, and she answered it with a hard breath and a quick, "Benson." She moved her arm, slapping Elliot in the shoulder. "Okay. Yeah. No problem, Cap." She hung up and looked at Elliot. "Turn around."

"Fucking really? Why?" He seemed annoyed as he pulled the car over and began to make a not-exactly-legal u-turn.

"Cragen is sending Jeffies to deal with this," she said, "We have a bigger problem." She saw the way he was looking at her and she rolled her eyes and gave a short, silent laugh. "Relax, it's not about us." She laughed a little louder when his color returned to normal.

"Okay, so what's the problem?" he asked, turning back down the department's street.

"Cragen found out where Cassidy and Munch are," she told him. "And, uh, he has to go bail them out, so we need to hold down the fort and wait for IAB."

"Bail them out?" Elliot barked, wide eyed. He turned back into the precinct lot. "Like...out of jail?"

She nodded, her lip between her teeth. "He, uh, he didn't say why. I don't actually think he knows, yet."

"Shit," he spat, turning the car off. "Fuck."

"Easy, baby," she said, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "I'm sure they're fine, and it's obviously nothing major that…"

"No, honey, I don't care what they did," he spat, getting out of the car. "This is the first time in weeks we're gonna be alone in that squadroom, and normally, I'd be able to take advantage of it in fucking glorious ways."

She smirked. "Well, what says that you can't…"

"Because, now," he intruded, holding the door open for her, "We really do have to deal with Tucker."

 **A/N: What did Cassidy and Munch do? What's up with Jeffries? And finally a celebratory moment alone for El and Liv!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: "What do you say to jumping off the edge..."**

 **DISCLAIMER: If I owned the characters I wouldn't need to write a disclaimer. And also, the show would need to be on HBO after 11PM…**

"This is ridiculous," Elliot grumbled, his arms crossed, an annoyed scowl on his face. "I didn't even…"

"You lost," Olivia said, her shoulders rising as her face twisted into a menacing smile. Her playful side came out when she least expected, and always around him. "You know the rules."

He rubbed his forehead and leaned closer to her, one hand moving scattered playing cards out of the way. "Tucker is in the back, you really think strip poker was a good idea?" He pulled off his tie with a frustrated snort. "I really wanted to be home in time for dinner, tonight. Spend time with...our kids."

Her breath hitched when he said the word _our_ , and her heart thumped giddily in response. "Me, too," she said, blinking away a tear that surprised her by forming without consent. She raised a hand and pulled his tie off of him, and as she twirled it around her fingers she said, "You didn't see a problem when I lost the first two hands."

"I call shenanigans, on that, by the way," he chuckled, easing back into his chair. "Earrings should count as one thing, not two."

"Hey, two ears," she said snidely, both brows high. She scooped up the cards, but before she could start shuffling, Tucker walked into the squadroom. She stiffened, hurrying to shove her feet back into her shoes and toss Elliot's tie into an open drawer of her desk.

"So, uh, the two of you...are surprisingly not the reason for my pain in the ass, tonight," Tucker said, his hands in his pockets. He shuffled around change and keys as he kicked his feet. "I know Munch doesn't need a black mark, right now, he's a couple years away from retirement. But I can't overlook this." He jostled change around in his pocket again and looked at Elliot. "Cassidy...three days suspension, since it was his fault." He looked around, noting a few empty desks and bare tables. "This unit...kinda short staffed, isn't it?"

"It's a voluntary squad," Elliot sighed, his eyebrows bouncing once. "Live and I...we have damn good reasons, and the stomach for it...but most people...they wouldn't volunteer for this." He folded his hands and looked up at Tucker. "We see the worst of the worst, all day, every day...shit that...that we can't unsee. I don't blame people for staying far the fuck away from this place."

"But what you do…" Tucker shook his head. "You do the most noble work, the real...life-changing work, and I...I want to tell you that, when you're not making my life a living hell, you are…" he glanced at Olivia. "Two of the most inspiring, dedicated detectives I've ever worked with." He jutted a thumb over his shoulder. "Don't ever turn into those two dickwads."

The trio laughed, but then Olivia bit her lip. "What...what did they do, exactly? No one would tell us anything."

Tucker screwed his mouth into a tight line, a ruddy tinge hitting his cheeks. "Took the car for a joyride, two states away, chasing a lead they weren't even sure would pan out. Got busted for speeding and running a red light, Cassidy was driving, he didn't have his ID so they added impersonating an officer. Well, until they called Cragen, and he...straightened that much of it out." He softened his expression. "Benson, how's your mom?"

"Oh, um," she was confused, Tucker had been more humane in recent days, more concerned for her and Elliot in ways he'd never been. "She's okay. Still a little sore, but she's much better, thanks."

Tucker bent over slightly, catching Elliot's curious stare but ignoring it. "We have resources...technically, they're for officers who need the help, but I'm sure we can…"

"Wow, Ed," Olivia interrupted, stunned. "Thank you, but she...she's tried counseling, and meetings, and...it's too late for it to do much good, isn't it? She didn't get any support or help when she needed it so now she...copes, the only way she knows how." She fought back the tears, pushed away the burning behind her nose. "Thank you, though."

Tucker nodded at her. "It's a standing offer," he told her, and then spun his head around and shot an exhausted look at Elliot. "I wasn't hitting on her, keep your pants on." He began to grin, his eyes widening a bit. "If I'd come in any later, they would have been on the floor, am I right? You know better than to play poker with that one. Fucking card shark."

Elliot laughed loudly, his head back, one hand slapping his thigh. He knew, then, that things would be alright, even if some of their secrets came out. At least, where Tucker was concerned.

"I would've let him win a hand or two," Olivia said with a sly smile. "This is the sex crimes division, right? We have to have some sense of decorum."

Again, the three of them shared a laugh, but the clicking of heels interrupted them. Tucker nodded at both Olivia and Elliot as he headed back into the conference room, where Cragen, Munch, and Cassidy were waiting. Jeffries turned into the room just in time to see the door close, and she looked around, flummoxed. "This day can't possibly get any worse," she huffed, dropping her coat onto her chair and then falling into it heavily.

"Rough case?" Elliot asked, trying to figure out if she was genuinely tired or just fishing for sympathy. He twirled a pen around in his hand, leaned back, and chewed lightly on the inside of his cheek, tapping into his behavioral analysis skills.

Jeffries sighed and dramatically rolled her eyes. "Nancy's in pretty rough shape, but she'll be okay. She, uh, she knew the guy." She rubbed her neck a bit and lolled her head from side to side. "Her mother was fucking awful, kept saying that Nancy should have expected this, because she picked a dangerous job." She pulled the tie out of her hair, letting the curls of blonde and brown cascade down to her shoulders, and she rubbed the sides of her head slowly. "Then she told me that Nancy only quit because she knew this was going to happen, they showed me a bunch of threatening e-mails...from some schmuck at a diner who kept hitting on her."

"She's okay? You got the guy, then?" Olivia asked, her heart leaping into her throat. Maybe she really did care about her old riding partner more than she thought.

Jeffries nodded, running a hand down her green shirt as she looked toward Elliot. "Man, was he barking up the wrong tree, or what?"

Elliot exhaled, his nostrils flaring. "What the hell does…"

"Nancy's a lesbian," Olivia whispered over to him, shooting him a clear, telling look. She shook her head at the question on his face and let her eyes wander upwards. "Not once. Out of the gutter." Her head turned away from her quizzical partner and back toward Jeffries. "That's not funny," she snapped. "He should have just dealt with the rejection, not…" she waved a hand, figuring the fight wasn't worth it, she had more important things on her mind.

"I didn't mean…" Jeffries breathed out. "That's his excuse," she said. "He's claiming that he only did what her mother wanted him to do, he was trying to...fix her." She rubbed one hand over her stomach, eyeing Elliot again, and added, "We got e-mails from her to him, confirming it, so they're both going down." She grinned, tilting her head, and then spoke. "Stabler, word around the hospital is you and Kathy really did end things. I asked one of the nurses, and, uh, Nurse Malone, is it? She moved to Jersey."

Elliot dropped his head into one of his hands, scrawling his name blindly at the bottom of a report with the other. "Yeah, a while ago. Could we not talk about her? I was having a really great night, until now."

Olivia held in her soft laugh as she leaned back. She loved watching him get worked up, and that it happened so easily, so often.

Jeffries licked her lips, then, and said, "How long's it been? You ready to play the field?"

"A while, no," he spat, short and curt. "Drop it." He looked up at Olivia. "What did you do with those, uh, forms?"

"Finished filling them out, faxed them over," she answered, her eyes meeting his and fixing every problem the night had laid on them. "Now, we just...wait."

Elliot ignored the objecting noises coming from Jeffries, made when he whispered something to Olivia that made her smile broadly and turn a soft pink shade. The pair shared a laugh and were about to fall into a bit more conversation, when Cragen, Tucker, Munch, and Cassidy finally emerged from the back room.

Cassidy looked at his colleagues sheepishly as he grabbed his keys and phone out of the top drawer of his desk and sulked out of the room, not looking back once.

Cragen stood, his hands in his pockets, his shirt untucked and crumpled, clearly exhausted. "Let this serve as a warning," he said sternly, "You are an officer of the law, you are not above the law. Your indiscretions will affect your job, especially if what you've done is fucking illegal!" He eyed each of his detectives. "I am not your father, I have to hold you accountable for things you do outside this building, if it makes you and this department look incompetent, and I will not pull strings or cover your ass if you get yourself into a fucking pile of shit, do I make myself clear?"

A few murmured yeses and head nods later, he was shut inside his office, reworking schedules and responsibilities. Olivia and Elliot looked at each other for a long moment, each reassuring the other that nothing they've done, or were about to do, was illegal. Frowned upon? Yes. But they wouldn't be arrested or fired for falling in love and finding family.

Jeffries was the one to break the silence. "You okay, John?"

Munch nodded, scratching his head. "I just...I'm not really sure how this all happened. One minute, one minute I'm talking to a vic, getting her story, next I'm in the passenger seat of our Mazda doing ninety in a fifty, Cassidy wouldn't tell me where we're going, I end up somewhere in central Jersey banging on church doors, Cassidy flipping out…" he threw his hands up and out, stunned. "He wouldn't tell me anything, and I'm still not a hundred percent sure what we did." He plopped into his chair, took off his glasses, and rubbed his tired eyes.

"He didn't tell you what he was doing?" Elliot asked, side-eyeing Tucker. "Either of you? Wasn't this a formal…"

"Like I said," Tucker interrupted, returning Elliot's stare, "I wasn't gonna hang Munch out to dry. I've got a formal inquisition with Cassidy, tomorrow, none of you need to be involved any…"

"Ed," Elliot cut in, rising. He moved over to Tucker, dropped his voice and his guard. "What was he doing?"

Tucker bit his lip, pulled on the hem of his suit jacket, and then crooked a finger as he led Elliot over to a corner of the room where no one could hear him speak. "His sister got herself into some trouble, called him, he went to handle it." He held up a hand and gave a slight shake of his head. "Don't," he huffed. "If he would've called me, or Donny, or someone...he took matters into his own hands, broke every law in the…"

Elliot butt into his speech. "You know if one of my sisters was in some kind of…"

"You would have Benson by your side, and you would've hit the dash-light, and you would've been smart enough to cover your bases," Tucker intruded, his tone pointed, certain. "Anyway, his sister is...fine. He has to take the suspension and the arrest stays on his record. We can't become the corrupt assholes the rest of the world thinks we are." He waited until Elliot's irritation faded. "Other...missteps...might be overlooked, you know, if, uh, if there was something you wanted to tell me now. Anything that might...give your captain an aneurysm."

Elliot's chest shook lightly as he chuckled, and he shook his head. "Nah, man," he breathed, "But, uh, I'll call you if I need you." His eyes drifted toward Olivia. "We," he whispered to Tucker. "We will call you, if we need you." His eyes were worried, hesitant.

Sliding his tongue along his lips, Tucker nodded, and said, "Take her home. It's late." He slapped Elliot on the shoulder and moved toward Cragen's office, not bothering to knock before turning the knob.

Olivia questioned him with her eyes as he walked back to her, picked up her jacket, and told her to get up. "Um," she stammered, confused.

"Don't argue," he warned, "He might come back and realize it's only six-thirty and make us stay." He helped her put her coat on and tossed his keys in the air, catching them with a soft grunt.

Jeffries watched on as he put on his coat and then walked out with Olivia, her mind racing with worries and plans she only hoped she could put into motion.

Once they got home, Elliot and Olivia sent Julie home and ordered Chinese food, took the time to help all of the kids with their homework, and had settled onto the couch to watch a movie. Lizzie curled up on Olivia's lap, Maureen had snuggled up at her left, pushing her further into Elliot. She didn't seem to mind, though, and wrapped herself around him with pure contentedness. "This is…"

"Perfect," he whispered to her, turning to kiss her temple. He smoothed her hair back and dropped his head against hers.

"Um…" Dickie intoned, his small blue eyes peering up from behind a pillow as he lay on the floor in front of the couch. He seemed to be hanging on the stutter, still humming the end of the small word, as if waiting for permission to say something more. He gnawed on his lip until he decided to take the chance and say, "Mom?"

Elliot's head popped off of Olivia's, her head straightened up at the same time, their hearts stopped at the same exact moment. Swallowing the incredibly large lump that had formed in the back of her throat, she felt her head dip forward and back again. "Yeah, sweetie?"

As if someone had just told him that Santa Claus really did exist, he smiled and propped up on his elbows, and then hopped to his feet. He leapt onto her without consideration for his sister at all, squishing her as he hugged Olivia tightly, uttering a soft, "Omigod, omigod, omigod," in rapid bursts of threes. "Honey, what...what is…"

"Dickie!" Lizzie shouted, trying to push him off of her, "You're flattening my nose!"

The whole family laughed as Lizzie finally kicked Dickie away, and then Olivia held the boy by his hands and looked into his eyes. She grinned, knowing she was staring at a miniature version of Elliot. "Honey, what's the matter?"

Dickie, still smiling, wiped his eyes, swiping away tears of joy. "I just...I wasn't sure if we could...I mean, I know that's who you are, but we never…"

"Kiddo," Elliot interrupted, ruffling up the boy's hair, "You're amazing." Overcome by his emotions, he pulled his son and Olivia into his arms, sniffling once. "You can call her 'Mom,' pal, she, uh...she's your mom."

Dickie hugged father and then kissed Olivia on the cheek. "Just...just checking," he said, brushing away the last of his tears. He went back to his spot on the floor and grabbed his pillow, making himself comfortable.

Lizzie rolled her eyes behind her glasses. "Finally," she spat, curling herself back up, laughing when Olivia tickled her and kissed her forehead.

"I love you," she whispered to the girl. "I love all of you," her voice spoke a bit louder. She leaned into Elliot and said, "And I love you, most."

He grinned as he pressed his lips to hers, and just as he was about to make just a bit more of their kiss, the doorbell rang. "Food," he said into her mouth. They shared a laugh as he peeled himself away from her and moved to answer the door. He pulled his wallet out of his pocket, readying his cash, but when he opened the door and looked, his eyes widened. "Hey...Cap," he eked out, frozen.

Cragen took off his hat, blinked once, and said, "May I, uh, may I come in?"

Elliot closed his eyes, knowing what Cragen would be walking into, knowing that it would be exactly what it looked like, and that no matter how hard he tried he wouldn't be able to talk his way out of it. "Olivia's here," he said, though he didn't really mean to say it.

"Oh, um, good, I was hoping she was," Cragen said, shaking as he spoke. He seemed nervous, almost afraid. "I went to her place, first, but...no one...no one was home." He cleared his throat and moved into the living room, expecting to see Olivia on the couch but not covered by Elliot's children. He stiffened, standing a bit taller, as he took in the sight of Elliot's youngest daughter on her lap, his two oldest flanking her. "Uh, hello."

Olivia tried to sit up but the weight of the three girls kept her from moving. She sent a silent wide-eyed plea for help in Elliot's direction, but he casually walked over to the armchair, making it appear as though that's where he'd been sitting all along. He smiled, thanking God that Kathleen had taken his vacated spot. "Have a seat," he said to Cragen, gesturing to another chair in the corner of the room.

"No, no, I can't, um, stay, I just…" Cragen swallowed hard again and he tried to smile. "Hey, you guys, uh, there's some snacks and sodas out in the trunk of my car, can you all go get the bags?" He laughed seeing their excited faces as they ran past him and through the front door.

"You needed them to leave? Why?" Elliot asked, confused and worried.

"I didn't want them to hear this," Cragen sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Olivia, I...I don't know how to tell you this, and I didn't want to spring it on you at work, have you think I was keeping it from you." He exhaled slowly, trying to keep steady.

Olivia stood up and took a step, her own nerves battling for control of her body, but Elliot had appeared at her side and grabbed her hand. "What's wrong?"

"There's a woman...in the morgue," Cragen started, "She, uh, she's...there's no way to identify her, Liv. But...this was in her pocket." He held out a small, plastic evidence bag, and inside of it, a small silver chain, a heart shaped pendant. A locket. Her mother's.

 **A/N: Oh, NO! Is it Serena? If not, how'd they get her mother's locket? And does Cragen ask the questions we know he wants to ask? And some time alone...next.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: "Never knowing if there's solid ground below ..."**

 **DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns the characters and base storyline, but narrative and dialogue belong to me, please and thank you.**

"I don't understand," Olivia said, sniffling, the evidence bag containing her mother's silver locket in her hand. She shifted in the leather chair beneath her, trying to find some sort of security. Suddenly, she felt Elliot's hands on hers, and she stilled. "How did this…"

"Where is she?" Cragen interrupted, needing Olivia to stop crying and focus on what the necklace and the case could mean. "She wasn't at your place, she's not at any bar in the…"

"My place?" Olivia butted in, and then she realized, she remembered as far as Cragen and the department knew, she shared a three-bedroom apartment with her mother. "No, she, uh, she hasn't really been spending a lot of time at home." She bit her lip, knowing that what she said was the truth, but also knowing she wasn't spending time there, either. Any time. At all.

Cragen rubbed his forehead and sighed again. "So do you know where else she would be? Where she'd go?" He looked at her, and his gaze momentarily dropped to her hands, both of them in her lap, the bag twisted between her fingers, and to his surprise, Elliot's large right hand covering them, his thumb running along the side of her palm. "What...uh…"

Olivia cleared her throat and sniffled again, shaking her head. "No, we...after her…" she swiped at a few falling tears, unsure of why she was crying, and said, "We don't really talk much, anymore."

"Maybe you should call her again, just to…" Cragen waved a hand at her, and then, as she pulled out her cell phone, he turned toward Elliot and lowered his voice. "What the hell was she doing at your place?"

"Watching a movie with the kids," Elliot answered quickly, honestly, in just as harsh a whisper. "In case you weren't aware, their mo…" he squinted, unable to bring himself to call anyone but Olivia their mother, now. "Kathy left, okay? So once in a while, they ask Liv to come over, they miss…"

"That it?" Cragen asked, one brow raised.

"Yeah," Elliot said sharply, nodding once. He shot his captain a disgusted look with a disbelieving smirk as he shook his head and leaned back. "Unbelievable," he spat in a whisper. But his hand kept Olivia's protively covered, his thumb still grazing her skin.

Olivia hung up, then looked at Elliot and then Cragen. "She, uh...she's up in Scarsdale," she said. "With a friend of hers, some kind of reunion. SHe claims she told me, but, like I said...we don't really...talk." She worked her way out of Elliot's grip and let the bag dangle from her fingers. "She pawned this...months ago," she scoffed, an ironic smile on her face. "Said she needed the money to fix her car, she...she got into an accident." More tears fell, her voice lost it's stability. "She was drunk, she hit a divider, she...she didn't want me to find out about it, so she…" her words fell into a sob, one hand flew to her mouth, and she shook her head fast.

Elliot pulled her into him, either not concerned or not realizing that Cragen was still there, watching, and he looped his arms around her. One hand cradled the back of her head, the other curled itself around her and flattened out on her back. He rubbed gently, small circles, as he hushed her and whispered softly to her, things Cragen couldn't...and shouldn't...hear.

She nodded, her head pressed against his chest, and then she pushed herself up and away from him. She took a deep breath, swallowed hard, and cleared her throat. "Sorry, I...I just…"

"You have nothing to apologize for," Cragen told her, his voice softer than it had been when he spoke to Elliot. "I'm sorry I scared you, but I…"

"It could've been her," Olivia breathed softly. "God, it could have…" she shook her head, refusing to cry again, and she looked up with dry, red eyes. "Maybe Elliot should take me home, since it's not…" she paused as she stood up and grabbed her jacket. "You know where this came from?" She tossed the evidence bag onto Cragen's desk.

Looking up at her, stunned, Cragen lifted the bag into his own hand, his fingers feeling the silver heart through the plastic. "You don't want it?"

"Clearly, it didn't mean anything to her," Olivia hissed, her jaw clenched, containing more emotion than she would let on. "So it means less than shit to me, at this point." She threw open the office door and stormed off, refusing to give her mother the satisfaction of hurting her again.

Elliot rose to his feet, only shooting Cragen another disconcerting look before following after Olivia. He caught up to her by the elevator, looped his large hand around her arm, and pulled her close to him again. "I got you," he whispered, pressing his lips to her forehead.

She nodded, smiling at the way his lips brushed against her skin as she moved. "I know you do," she returned, and when the doors slid open, she moved with him. When they squeezed themselves together in the corner, she sighed. "Thank God, you do."

Elliot looked up for a moment, watching the red light on the security camera blink vigilantly at him. He gave a heavy huff as he reached out a hand and slapped the emergency stop button, pushed two floor keys, and looked down at Olivia as the bright lights shut off and the dimmer, blue-toned emergency light came on, bathing her in a soft glow.

She furrowed her brow at him, tilting her head. "Why did you…"

He didn't give her a chance to finish her question. His lips slanted over hers, softly and sweetly. His hands stayed in place, on her hips, as he tried like hell to tell her how much he loved her without words. One hand smoothed up her body, coming to rest on her face, his thumb swiping away the fresh tears that leaked out of the corner of her left eye.

She moved, then, knowing he wouldn't, knowing why. Her hips rocked into his, making him moan into her mouth as she parted her lips for him. She gave a soft moan in return as their kiss deepened, and she fumbled with his belt.

They both knew what this was, they knew why it was happening. They'd promised each other, almost as soon as they acknowledged what they mean to each other, that they were in, they were ready and willing, whenever the other needed an outlet, an escape, a release...a way to forget, a way to blow off steam, or even if it was simply because the mood was right.

Clothes began to fall away, dropping to the elevator floor with soft plops and swooshes. Louder noises echoed off the wood and metal walls when their pants and jackets dropped, cell phones, wallets, keys, guns, and badges drumming as they fell.

Her nails raked down his bare chest and she smirked against his lips when she shivered beneath her fingers. Scratching was something, she discovered, that brought him to his knees and made him ache for more, ache for her. She trailed her hands back up his body, digging her nails in just a bit deeper, loving his reaction. She felt him harden and grow against her body, reactively sliding one leg up his, hooking it around him.

With a low laugh, he caught her behind the knee, holding her open as he thrust once, finding home immediately. Their matching, loud, growling gasps bounced off the walls, and when he began thrusting slowly, deeply, their moans overlapped. He cried her name loudly when he felt one of her hands drag roughly through his scalp, scratching hard, making him hit into her harder, but not faster. He whispered something against her lips as he kissed her, moving his other hand down her nude form, finding her fingers and tangling them around his.

Her world was spinning on its ear, a new axis, shifted by ten degrees. Her heart was pounding behind her ribs, all of the cracks and wounds and bruises left by her mother, others, were fading and healing. Scars were erasing themselves with every pass of him inside her, every kiss made her closer to whole. She scratched down his neck again, hard, loving the way it made him seethe and buck harder into her, taking her away from the life she was finally able to leave behind.

"I love you," he mumbled, his tongue too busy dancing with hers to make the words clear. He broke away from her, panting, and found her eyes as he pounded into her harder, still slow, dragging himself out of her completely and back in with a slam. "I love you so fucking much."

Dropping her forehead against his, she nodded, and told him, "I love you. More than…" her eyes squeezed shut, her mouth fell open. Her body seized and trembled as her nails dug into whatever parts of him they were resting against.

With another growl, he slammed his mouth into hers again, muffling her scream with his exploring tongue and his own stifled curses. He pushed in and tugged out, slammed in again, through her clenching walls and pulsating body.

She let out a high whimper, her body rising against his as it tightened, and she clawed at him, desperate for leverage as he body began to burn and erupt.

He groaned, a wavering sigh, as he felt her clamp around him so hard that he couldn't move anymore. He gasped, feeling her squeeze and throb, coaxing his release from him without him needing to thrust anymore, and he let go, shooting into her as he gripped her tighter, holding her for dear life.

Kissing slowly, they calmed, rolling their bodies into each other, whimpering each other's name softly, over and over, followed by soft confessions of love and devotion. He brushed her damp hair back, kissed her forehead, and whispered, "I'm never leaving you, I need you to believe that."

She nodded, still breathing heavily. "Good," she huffed, "Because I'm never leaving you…" her head rose, her eyes met his. "Or our kids."

He held her for a while, kissing her as his still heated and twitching body pressed to hers, and then he sighed, regretting that he had to pull away from her. He bent down and lifted their crumpled clothes into his hands, and then he smiled as he helped her get dressed, carefully running his fingers against her skin as he pulled her shirt on for her. He fixed each button, still slowly kissing her, and he smoothed his hands up her legs as he tugged on her pants.

She did the same for him, feeling every muscle give a small jerk as she grazed her knuckles and fingertips against them. Her final step was buckling his belt for him, sealing it all with a long slow kiss. She dropped her head to his chest as he smacked the red button, restarting the elevator and camera, bright lights making them squint.

"I, uh," he coughed. "I'll just tell Jimmy I didn't want them to get you crying on camera." He looked up and nodded at the red light, at the security guard who was watching, probably wondering why they'd stalled out the elevator for over an hour.

The ride home was silent, but not uncomfortable, and there was an ease between them that had been suppressed for days, now finally freeflowing and encompassing. She let out a content sigh, turning her head to look at him as he drove. He changed her; he altered every aspect of her life, made her reevaluate choices, made her break every personal rule, made her demolish walls and boundaries. Her smile widened, she blinked once, and she knew she had done the same things for him, for his kids, for his life.

"What are you looking at, Benson?" He had a smug grin on his face, his dick twitching with knowledge that she was staring at him. It filled him with pride, comfort, love, and an unfamiliar feeling that didn't yet have a name.

"Everything," she whispered, and her hand fell over his on the gear shift, her fingers working between his. "You are...everything to me."

He turned his wrist and clutched her fingers tighter, choked up but nodding as he said, "And you...you're…" he blinked away tears, they ran down his cheeks as he chuckled at his own emotion. "Fuck, baby, you...you do crazy shit to me," he laughed, taking his hand off the wheel to wipe his eyes quickly.

The car pulled into the driveway a few minutes later, and as he shifted the car into park and turned it off, he looked at her, finally able to speak without crying. "You're everything to me, too, you know that. You and the kids, baby. My world." He leaned over and his eyes closed as he kissed her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered. She bit her lip as she looked at him, and she said, "You are...the first person in my life...ever...that…" she took a breath and shifted in her seat. "When I'm with you, I feel like I'm on solid ground, and I never felt that before, I've always been one step away from falling off the edge, and with you...I know that even if I did, you'd catch me."

He nodded, beaming at her, and he pressed his lips to hers. "Always right here," he whispered, and he opened his door as he winked at her. "Uh, ditto...by the way," he chuckled.

She gave him a crooked smile and got out, too, waiting for him to come around to her side of the car. He took her hand and led her up the porch steps, and just before he unlocked the front door, he kissed her again. She brushed her hand against his cheek and gave him a look that seemed to say things she simply could not put into words, and she followed him into the house, watched him key in the alarm code, and lock the door behind them.

Saying nothing, he took his coat off, helped her with hers, and then hung them on the coat rack. He wrapped his hand around her wrist and pulled her along, tugging her into the bedroom.

Julie blinked twice, pursing her lips. "Okay, so, I'm gonna go," she said, wideeyed, putting her things away.

As if only remembering, Olivia ran out of the bedroom again, rolling her eyes and laughing. "Thanks, Jules," she said, and she gave the young woman a hug.

"Aw, anytime, Missus S," Julie laughed, hugging back. "You guys are like my second family. Have a nice night, I'll see you tomorrow." She waved over her shoulder as she unlocked the door and let herself out.

Olivia followed, locking the door for what would hopefully be the last time, and she sighed as she turned around, letting her body lean against the door as she looked out into the living room. She heard him call for her and she obeyed, unbuttoning her shirt as she headed back into the room. "You think…" she started, but then she shook her head.

"What?" he prodded, pulling his shirt off and tossing it into the hamper.

She reached around to unhook her bra, let it fall off, and threw it into the basket on top of his shirt. Before she could move, he was wrapped around her, his hands palming her bare chest, toying with her nipples. "Christ," she moaned, her head falling back against his chest. "We just…"

"Shh," he hushed, continuing to play as she shimmied out of the rest of her clothes. He turned her around and bent his head, taking one nipple into his mouth as he felt her working his pants down. He kicked them off and moved them clumsily onto the bed, flattened her out, and moaned as he suckled slowly.

Her eyes slid shut, her fingers worked through his hair, slowly, as she let soft moans escape. "El, baby," she whispered.

He shook his head, his mouth still wrapped around one nipple as his fingers teased and twisted the other, and he felt her hips begin to move slowly. He grinned, knowing from experience he could bring her to bliss by this alone. He was going to make it happen, make her cum, send her into a state of beautiful oblivion.

She gasped when he began to flick his tongue rapidly over her nipple, brushing his thumb over the other, and she yanked on his hair when she gave him exactly what he wanted. Her head fell back into the pillow, her lips pressed together tightly, her back arched, and her nails dug trenches up his back.

"Fuck," he growled, "I love that." He kissed her slowly as she calmed, and with one arm, he pulled the blankets around them. "I love that...that I make you do that. That you do it for me." He kissed her again. "Just me."

"Only you," she whispered, curling herself around him, and as her eyes closed, she smiled.

He looked down at her, smiling, too, and he reaffirmed his promise to never let anyone hurt her or his kids. His eyes drifted shut, then, and he pulled her closer, tighter, knowing that someone was already planning to try, and he'd be ready.

 **A/N: Court for El and Liv, but why? And who's trying to hurt his family?**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: "Or a hand to hold ..."**

 **DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns the characters and base storyline, but narrative and dialogue belong to me, please and thank you.**

Jeffries looked up at the sound of the footsteps, getting louder, closer. Her eyes twinkled when they landed on him, her lips curling into an aroused and amused grin. Her eyes ran over him, taking in his pressed suit, the way it was perfectly tailored for his body, clinging to every muscle. She ran her tongue along the seam of her mouth, one eyebrow arching when she noticed his loosened tie, unbuttoned collar, and untucked shirt. She couldn't help it, her voice eked out a soft moan, imagining that's what he might look like after a fuck in the locker room. "Damn," she choked, shaking her head appreciatively when he turned to sit at his desk.

Munch, unaware that his partner was having Stabler-induced palpitations, looked over to his right. "Where were you guys?"

"Court," Olivia answered, tossing her jacket over the back of her chair on her way to the coffee pot. Her hand shook slightly as she grabbed the handle of the carafe, jiggling it as she poured two cups. She took a slow breath, at attempt to calm down, and as she lifted the two steamy foam cups into her hands, she let herself smile.

Elliot looked up at her, grinning broadly as he took the cup of coffee she poured for him.

"We ran out of creamer," she told him, justifying the black coffee, and then she dropped into her seat and sipped, grimacing at its bitter strength.

"Somehow," he began, still smiling, "I don't think it's gonna bother me, today." He winked as he took a sip from his own cup, and as if he could feel her staring, he placed the cup down on his desk, shifted in his seat, and asked, "Can I help you with something, Jeffries?"

"Oh, yeah," Jefferies said, her eyes narrowing a bit. "I'm sure you could." She swiveled around in her chair, the orange cotton of her shirt crinkling as she moved. "You're happy today," she nodded at him, "Judge rule in your favor?"

Elliot's eyes brightened, his lips stretched into another smile. "You could say that," he said, looking across his desk. He caught Olivia's eyes and his heart gave a hard throb.

Munch, though, twisted his lips and crossed his arms. "What case?" he asked, confused. "I don't remember anything being on the…"

"Benson! Stabler!" Cragen yelled, rushing out of his office and into the middle of the squadroom. He held out a small, pink piece of paper, but whipped it back from Elliot's accepting hand. "You two look...nice. Too nice."

"They were in court this morning," Munch offered, peering over the rims of his glasses and looking at Cragen skeptically.

Furrowing his brows, Cragen shot his attention toward Munch. "We didn't have anything on the calendar," he declared, and then gave a questioning glance to Elliot.

Elliot gave him a severe look in return. "Custody hearing," he told his captain, leaving out the part about the custody in question being Olivia's, and adoption being part of the process. "And before you ask why she came with me, she was a character witness. Kinda needed her to tell the judge I…"

"Okay," Cragen nodded, lowering his hand and giving Elliot the assignment. "You might want to change before you head out there, it's...it's gonna get messy."

Perplexed, Elliot looked down at the pink slip, and he dragged a hand down his face as he read, his good mood only slightly dampened. "Body on the tracks, Fifty-seventh street station," he looked over at Olivia, and then down at himself. "Man, I looked fucking hot, today, too."

"Yeah, you did," Olivia and Jeffries said at the same time, and then they shot each other wicked glares. Olivia let herself smirk, though, knowing she won the game already. She got up, gulped down the rest of her cool, black coffee, and grabbed her jacket. "We can change in the car," she said fast, and she let herself laugh victoriously at the choking gasp that had come from Jeffries. "I meant," she began, rolling her eyes, "One at a time." She hid her wicked smirk.

Elliot pulled on his tie as he got up, clearing his throat. He knew exactly what she'd meant, and he was eager to get her into the backseat and out of her body-hugging suit. He picked up his coat and waited for her to come around to his side of the desk, and then led her out without so much as a nod toward anyone else.

"So, the judge seems to think I'm mother material," she said as they walked. "You gonna just hand me your kids and leave me for Jeffries."

"Ya know, that's a pretty suit you're wearing," he replied with an odd look on his face. He smirked, then, and continued. "Don't make me throw up on it."

"She's pretty," Olivia scoffed. Her balled fist punched the call button and she folded her arms.

"But you," he turned to her, darkened eyes with large pupils staring as deeply as they could into hers, "You are beautiful. Sexy. Strong." He leaned closer. "Mine." The doors slid open and he pushed her into the elevator, chuckling as he remembered what had happened in the very same box, less than ten hours ago. "You have no reason to…"

"Oh, I know," she cut him off, letting her arms fall to her sides. "Doesn't mean I'm any less pissed. The way she looks at you, like she's ready to tear your clothes off, and she constantly…"

"Are you more pissed that she does," he asked, interrupting her, "Or that you try so fucking hard not to, and she's getting away with it?"

Olivia sighed. "Both, actually." The elevator dropped with a small jerk, the doors opened, and she pulled him out by his coatsleeve. "I know…" she inhaled. "I know that Cragen ignores it, coming from her, because he fucking knows there's not a snowball's chance in hell of you taking her up on her...offers." She said it with a clenched jaw, gritted teeth, and flaring nostrils. "But God forbid I so much as compliment your fucking tie, he shoots me these daggers and scowls at me like an angry father."

Elliot let out a small laugh at her annoyance, her jealousy. "Because he sees it, baby. He knows...I mean, he...he assumes, but...I'm pretty sure he knows we're feeling things he would rather us not be, he just doesn't know how or when it started, how intense and...permanent it is." He rested a hand at the small of her back as he pushed them through the front doors. "Tucker does, that's all that really matters. He's…"

"He was...amazing, today," she said with a soft breath, letting herself relax. "What he said about you...I never would have thought I'd hear him talk like that, not about us. He went to bat for…"

"You," Elliot nodded, "And me, and the kids." He kissed her cheek as he clicked the button on his keychain and unlocked the trunk of their red car. He opened the hatch, unzipped a navy blue duffle bag, and pulled out a bunch of rumpled clothes and two pairs of well-worn sneakers, his and hers. "We should take him to dinner or something, thank him." He tossed a sweatshirt and pair of yoga pants to her. "When he told the judge that he was sure our jobs wouldn't get in the way of being active parents…"

"And then promised he would rework schedules to prove it," Olivia finished, shaking her head. She took off her jacket and blazer and then pulled the sweatshirt over her head. "We do kind of owe him one, now."

Elliot shook his head. "He's a friend, baby," he told her, tugging another hoodie over his head. "He proved to us, today, that friendship comes before work, and as much grief as we give him on the job, he'll be there when we need him." He moved, kissing her cheek again, slammed the trunk shut, and moved around to the side of the car. He opened the door and got into the backseat, watching her come in from the other side.

The doors slammed at the same time, and they shared a furtive glance and heated smile. "Hands to yourself," she warned. "We're on the clock."

He grumbled and leaned over as far as he could, kicking his slacks down and off, eyeing her dangerously. "Under different circumstances…"

She laughed, throwing her head back, as she pressed up against him to shimmy her way out of her suit pants. She tugged on her black leggings, then turned, biting the inside of her cheek. "You, uh, you should maybe wear boxers or something on workdays." Heat rose to her face, her cheeks flushed, and she moaned when he raised his hips, making his freed dick slap against his body as he pulled on his sweatpants. Her hands tingled with the need to touch him, stroke him, make him beg for it, but she squeezed her eyes shut, licked her lips, and shook away the erotic urge.

He sat up and rolled forward to pick up his pants off of the floor of the car, giving her a cocky smile. "That look on your face…" he gave an indicative nod, "Is why I don't." He moved fast, kissing her quickly, and gave her another wink as he climbed over the console and into the driver's seat. He hiked himself up to clip his badge and gun to the tightly wound band of his pants, and started the car once he was sure she was buckled in beside him.

She shivered a bit, a chill running down her spine, and she inhaled deeply. Letting it out slowly, she felt herself smile again, something she could not stop doing this day. "This morning," she breathed, "That really happened, right? I wasn't dreaming?"

"Which part?" he questioned. "The adoption hearing, Tucker's statement, or when we fucked in the…"

"All of it," she cut in, a happy guffaw leaving with her words. "We really...in a couple of weeks I'm gonna be their…"

"Mother," he nodded, looking at her tenderly. He turned the wheel, stepped on the gas, and drove them toward their crime scene. "I know what we're risking," he confirmed, and his lip was sucked between his teeth and bitten hard, the car making another sharp turn.

She pressed her lips together and swallowed, then said, "We'd be risking so much more if we never…" her words were killed when his hand reached over and clutched hers, squeezing, telling her he agreed, and not to finish the horrible thought a life that seemed to be lived by someone else, so long ago. Wordlessly, she lifted his hand, pressed each of his knuckles to her lips, and whispered, "I love you."

"Fucking...Christ," he spat, swatting the wheel as he laughed at the sudden tears forming and falling. He gave a good, hard sniffle, rolled his shoulders back, blinked rapidly, and pulled the car over to the curb. He turned the key, yanked it from the dash, and leaned over to her. He kissed her soundly, and held her gaze as he commanded, "Stay right next to me, okay? It'll be dark, and slippery, and…"

"We've done this before," she rolled her eyes at his protectiveness.

He grinned. "Nah, before you were just my partner, my girl," he kissed her lips once more. "This time, I'm looking out for the mother of my children." He closed his eyes as he pressed his lips to her forehead, his rapidly beating heart slowing to a manageable tempo. He moved away from her, got out of the car, and headed for the stone steps, nodding to the uniformed officers keeping civilians from walking down them.

Olivia, beside him, smiled at one of the officers as he winked at her, but then laughed to herself, knowing it was a blessing that Elliot hadn't seen him do it, he wouldn't still be standing. "What've we got?" she asked loudly, shouting the question toward the medical examiner.

Rodgers let out an audible sigh. "We're damn lucky this track was closed for maintenance," he said, looking up from the muddy ground between platforms. "Powered down, too, so no burns or charring. Well, from the tracks," she stated.

"How long has she been out here?" Elliot asked, hopping down from the platform, grimacing when he felt his sneakers sink into the mud. He turned, instinctively catching Olivia as she dropped, almost kissing her but stopping just shy.

She noticed, gave him a warning glare, and nodded her thanks as she moved toward the girl, flattened out and spread over the tracks.

Rodgers shook her head. "I won't know until I do the full exam," she told them. "Temps down here are below freezing, her liver temp is off because of it. What I can tell you," she held up a sealed evidence bag, "Is that it was sometime after seven PM."

Elliot took the bag from her, scrutinizing the broken watch, it's shattered glass face crying out the time it stopped. "Seven-twelve," he said, handing the bag over to Olivia. "Aside from the fact that she's naked…"

"She was, Detective," Rodgers nodded. "Repeatedly." She looked down and shook her head. "Bruising, a lot of it."

Elliot ran a hand down his face, he glanced at Olivia, and he said, "Our wonderful morning?"

She nodded. "Officially over."

 **A/N: The case takes A personal turn...but for whom? And how does Tucker get involved this time?**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: "Or Hell to pay..."**

 **DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns the characters and base storyline, but narrative and dialogue belong to me, please and thank you.**

"That was Rodgers," Olivia said, running her right eye as she hung up her desk phone. "She, uh, got an ID on our girl."

Elliot looked up from the form he was filling out, raising an eyebrow expectantly.

Olivia looked at him and bit her lip before saying, "Francesca Britton, she was...she was a pro. She was...she was only twenty-three." She brushed her hair out of her eyes with one finger, clearing her throat again. "There were handprints, clear handprint shaped bruises...on her thighs." She cringed and pressed her lips together. "And a lot of dried blood...um, shit...Rodgers found a fingerprint in the blood on her leg. She ran it up to the lab, they processed it, and…" she looked over at Munch and Jeffries, who seemed lost in their own conversation over paperwork and politics. "We need to call Tucker."

Elliot's eyes narrowed, he dropped his pen and papers to his desk and leaned closer to her. "Cop?" He watched her nod. "Who?"

Her eyes closed, her tongue swiped along her pressed together lips, her shoulders slumped. "Cassidy," she whispered, shaking her head. "I don't want to believe he…"

"He's got a temper and a problem taking 'no' for an answer," he interrupted, his eyes darker now, fearful. "He got testy with you a couple times, angry because you turned him down." He leaned even closer, gritting his teeth, and he ground out a harsh, "If he did this...he could've hurt…"

"You'd never let him come close," she said to him, stopping his words, "Neither would I, you know that." She scooted her chair back. "I gotta let Cragen know. Call Ed, then we, uh, we'll go pay Cassidy a little visit."

Elliot watched as she walked, her black yoga pants clinging to her tightly toned ass and legs, the loose sweatshirt hiding the rest of her curves. He followed her with his eyes and a smirk because he knew what lay beneath. He shook the thought of her naked body to the back of his mind when she disappeared behind Cragen's door, and he picked up his phone, dialing the memorized number. "Eddie? Yeah, man, great, great, but, uh...this is not...oh, um, yeah that sounds good. Yeah. But, uh, right now...we need you on something. Potentially an officer involved...oh, okay. See you in five, then." He hung up and without turning his head, he rolled his eyes and moaned, "What, Jeffries?"

"Now, the suit you were wearing this morning, that was hot. But this?" The dark skinned woman smirked as she twirled a long finger around in Elliot's direction. She let her lips curl as her eyes scanned his body, surveying the low slung sweatpants and grey hoodie, then they traveled back up to his face and took in his five o'clock shadow. "This is dead sexy. Rugged, manly, like you just got back from the gym, or the…"

"I just got back from peeling a young woman's lifeless body off of subway rails, actually, and there's nothing fucking sexy about that!" Elliot snapped. "Can you stop? I mean, I'm flattered, really, but I'm at work, so are you, and I really don't need you staring at me like a hungry lion all the fucking time!"

Jeffries dropped her jaw and leaned back in her chair, crossed her legs, and folded her arms as she shook her head. "Did I strike a nerve, Stabler? Or maybe you're just realizing that you want it as much as I do, and the need is..."

"Fat chance," Elliot spat, his eyes narrow. "I am...so in love with...someone who turns me on in ways you could never even think of, and I'm incredibly satisfied with my fucking sex-life, which does not, and will never involve you."

"Well, thank God for that," Cragen broke in, stepping into the middle of the bullpen. "It'll save a couple of jobs and my sanity, knowing that's never gonna happen." He looked at Munch, while Olivia moved over to Elliot and shot him a discreetly smoky smile. She'd heard everything.

"I know that look," Munch said, worried. "Who died?"

Cragen chuckled but then sighed sadly, and with a serious tone, he said, "I need you and Jeffries to go, uh, go get Cassidy.

Munch let out a relieved laugh. "You're lifting his suspension? Thank God! I really needed…"

"No, John," Cragen interrupted, shaking his head slowly. "It's not your case but...under the circumstances, it would be better...coming from you." He shot Jeffries a hard look and then turned his eyes toward Munch. "We need to question him. His fingerprints…"

"No," Munch sighed with closed eyes. "No, there has to be...this is a mistake." He got up and ripped his coat off of his chair, fishing car keys out of his pocket. "I'll go get him, and he will clear all of this up."

"Well, yeah," Olivia said with a nod. "That's what we're all hoping for, John."

Munch gave her an unsure smile as he left the room, without Jeffries.

There was a tense silence for a moment, but then Cragen turned and glared at Jeffries. "You...you are aware that this unit has policies against internal fraternization, aren't you?"

"Policies," she repeated, nodding, "But not hard and fast rules. You can't fire me for having a relationship with him."

Cragen's head whipped toward Elliot. "Relationship?"

"Only in her dreams," Elliot quipped, rolling his eyes. "I'm involved with someone, but it sure as fucking hell isn't Jeffries." He cleared his throat. "No offense," he said to her. "I'm sure you'll make someone very happy, but it's not gonna be me."

Cragen hid a smirk behind a hand as he rubbed his chin, and then turned back toward Jeffries. "My office," he said, and he moved fast, knowing that a very annoyed Monique was following him.

As soon as Cragen's door was closed, Elliot shot up, out of his seat, grabbed and kissed Olivia hard, moaning once. He pulled back and looked into her confused yet aroused eyes. "Don't say it. She had it coming," he said, "And yeah, everything I said? Truth."

She nodded, lifting her hand to her mouth and brushing a finger over her lips. "You can't kiss…"

"No one saw us," he assured her, cutting away her protest. "I just...I needed to…"

Tucker's voice stopped whatever confession he was about to make. "Afternoon, guys," he said, pulling down his suit jacket's cuffs. He looked up, then, and tilted his head. "I didn't know SVU had Casual Friday."

Olivia chuckled. "Vic was found in the subway," she said, walking over to him. "We got back about an hour ago, just haven't had the time or desire to change."

"Yeah, I get it," Tucker laughed. "I mean, I'd rather be in sweats, myself. So what have you got that you needed my input? Beat cop get pissy with…"

"Detective. It's, uh, Brian Cassidy," Elliot said, crossing his arms as he stepped over to Tucker and Olivia. "Bloody print on the vic's skin was his. Munch went to pick him up, but we need you and…"

"You got me," Tucker nodded, "Thought I made that clear this morning." He slapped Elliot on the shoulder and shot a wink and a smile toward Olivia. "I'll take it first, he, uh...he won't exactly cooperate with the two of you."

"Right," Elliot scoffed. "Hey, uh, today, when you said me and Liv were…"

"I was under oath," Tucker said with a smug grin and a shrug. "I meant everything I said. Every word of it. And no…" he looked at Olivia. "You don't owe me anything, I'm not gonna expect favors or make ridiculous demands, I did it, and I would do it again in a heartbeat for the two of you." He nodded at her stunned expression and then turned back to Elliot. "Your lab ran the print, how many times?"

"Three," Elliot replied sadly. His arms still crossed, he shook his head. "He has always had it bad for Liv, made these snide comments, got handsy a couple of times. If she...if he had ever been alone with her…"

"Hey," Tucker interrupted, resting a hand on Elliot's arm, "Man, you and I both know she would've broken every bone in his body, and then you would've killed him, and I'd have paperwork up to my eyeballs for a year because I wouldn't hold it against either of you."

Elliot laughed and nodded. "Thanks," he said, one hand rubbing both of his eyes, trying to kill the tears as the What-ifs piled up in his mind. His cell phone rang, then, and he held up a finger to Tucker as he moved back to answer the call. "Stabler. Oh, hi sweetie," he said, his voice had gone up an octave, his smile bright. It was one of his children. "Oh, yeah? Well, you tell her that we would love to, and we'll even bring those cookies that...yup!" He laughed, hearing his daughter giggle, and he made a few kiss noises before saying, "Mommy and I love you, Princess. Bye bye."

Tucker had to press his mouth closed tightly, hiding his amused smile, but he looked at Olivia, saw the way she was looking at Elliot, the love in her eyes, and his resolve faded. He let himself smile.

"Which Princess was that?" Olivia asked, uncrossing her arms, the light still shining in her eyes.

"Katie," he said, dropping the phone back into the pocket of his sweatpants. "And her homeroom teacher. We were invited to speak to her class, tomorrow, as speakers for their Child Safety Week." He looked at Tucker and then back at Olivia. "They want us to bring family ID kits."

"And you told them I'd make cookies?" She grinned at him, feeling more like his wife now.

He nodded. "The ones you made for Valentine's Day, with the little chocolate candies in the middle."

Tucker's eyes widened. "Make extra," he chirped. "I loved those things!"

Olivia laughed as she nodded, but her mirth dissipated when all at once, Cragen's door opened and Munch walked back through the squadroom doors. "What...um…"

"He's gone," Munch said, rubbing a hand along his forehead. "His apartment was empty and his car wasn't in the lot."

Cragen spat out a hard curse and looked at Jeffries. "Your Head back on straight?" He saw her nod and he said, "Good. Put a BOLO out on him, and Stabler, get an APB out on him and the car, and…" he sighed. "Bring him back here in one fucking piece." He looked over and let out a heavy breath. "Ed," he nodded, "Come on in."

Tucker looked at Elliot and Olivia, giving them another smile, and the headed into Cragen's office as the other detectives began making phone calls in an effort to find their colleague and friend, and hopefully get him out of whatever trouble he was in before it was too late.

As Elliot picked up his desk phone, he let out a soft growl. If Cassidy was their perp, he wouldn't be able to handle the case by the book, and then...there would be hell to pay.

 **A/N: This is getting good...or bad?**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: "What do you say?"**

 **DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns the characters and base storyline, but narrative and dialogue belong to me, please and thank you.**

"Calm…"

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down!" He turned fast, snapping almost violently as his left hand balled into a fist and flew into one of the metal lockers to his right. He let it sit in the large dent it had made, like a meteor in its crater, as he took deep, quick, heavy breaths. His squeezed-shut eyes faced the damaged cage, his nostrils flared. "How the fuck...did we not fucking know about…"

"Calm down," she said again, this time finishing the soft command. She moved her hands to his shoulders, rubbed and squeezed, her own eyes cringing at the tension under her touch. "Please, baby."

He took a deeper breath, slower, and exhaled through a small o-shaped mouth. "Fuck," he hissed, punching the locker again, leaving another mark, before turning and wrapping his arms around her. "He's gonna fucking get away with it because he was underfuckingcover, the whole time...the arrest, the suspension, it was all…" he shook his head against the crook of her neck. "Fuck."

"Tucker didn't even know," she whispered to him, lightly scratching her nails along his scalp and neck, trailing a path upward and downward, over and over. She felt him shiver in her arms, against her body, and she knew it was either calming him down, arousing him, or both. "Relax. It...it could've been you."

Elliot pushed away from her, looking into her eyes with a terrorized realization. "I didn't even think…"

"You filed all kinds of paperwork down in HR, with my name in places that…" she stopped herself from saying something stupid. "You talked to Chief Muldrew for two and half hours, so we wouldn't be in any kind of trouble once things...got…" again, she stopped herself. She licked her lips and ran her hands from his neck to his back, back up, and back down. "He probably didn't want to drag into something that would put you in a position to…"

"Cheat on my wife, hurt my family, possibly...get myself killed and leave you guys…" he nodded dumbly, making a mental note to be nicer to the chief.

"Wife?" she questioned, a small grin playing at her lips and one eyebrow arched high.

He chuckled, but said, "Might as well be, at this point." He let himself fall into her again, his arms loosely wound around her waist and his chin pressed into the curve between her neck and shoulder. "I still can't…" he huffed. "He's claiming that he didn't kill her, he found her in one of the bedrooms, tried to save her…" he blinked. "Some asshole is fucking getting away with rape and murder, here, and Cassidy knows who it is! He says he can't tell us shit because it'll blow some fucking…"

The only way to shut him, she realized, was to move and kiss him. She moaned softly when he fell back into the mangled lockers and pulled her tighter to him, making more of the kiss than she intended. Another moan left through her slightly parted lips, landing on his tongue, as she felt his hands creep under her sweatshirt and run over her bare back in sensual swirls.

He toyed with the clasp of her bra, running a finger under the band, around to the front of her body, teasing her. He slid his hand up and around her right breast. He cupped it, squeezing, making her moan again, and then slowly skidded his thumb over her satin-covered nipple.

She gasped against his lips, stiffening for a second, and then relaxed as it became clear he had no intention of stopping, but no plan to make more of it, either. "El," she whispered, letting her head fall back as he rolled her nipple between his fingers. She knew he needed this, needed her. Honestly, so did she.

He moved his mouth from her lips to her chin, across to her neck, where he latched on and suckled with a soft growl. He knew he would be leaving a mark, and he didn't care. His right hand traveled down her body, coming to rest on her ass, and he gripped it hard as he rocked forward, bucking into her, making them both moan. The fingers of his left hand found their way under her bra and continued rolling and pulling at her nipple, loving the way she uncontrollably rolled into him.

She felt his hand tug at the waistband of her pants and she gasped, common sense hitting her like a snowball, cooling her off and shocking her into stiffness. She pushed herself away from him and shook her head. "Shit," she laughed. "We can't...we need to stop. We're...in the fucking locker room."

"We could be fucking in the locker room," he teased, adjusting her bra as he pried his hand away from her chest begrudgingly. "You're right, we can't...at work...not right now, at least. I just…" he looked at her, and he lost his train of thought. He took in the way her lips, slightly parted, red and swollen from his kiss, curled into a small smile. His heart throbbed harder as he saw the hazy, drugged look in her eyes that told him she wanted and needed him as much as he did her. Grinning, he ran his eyes up and down her body, landing on her face once more, and he saw, beneath the lust and exhaustion, love, desire, trust, faith, and his own reflection, and he knew that she was seeing those very same things in his gaze.

She kissed him again, softly, and moved away from him a bit. She ran a hand down his arm and took a firm grip on his hand, lifting it. "You really need to stop punching…"

"Doesn't hurt,' he interrupted, staring down his bruised knuckles. He melted a bit as he watched her run her fingers over them, lift his hand to her lips, and kiss them. God, he loved her, more than he thought it was possible to love another person. He kissed her forehead, took a breath, and said, "You wanna get outta here?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "It smells like feet and…"

"Not the locker room," he laughed, "Come on, I'm taking you home. Nothing we can do with this case now, it's kicked over to Cassidy and some fucking asshole in Narco."

She smiled at him and led the way, out of the locker room, through the halls, and toward the elevator. "We should probably tell…"

"Call him from the car," he broke in, "I can't go back in there, right now, I'll kill Cassidy." He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, trying to forget how he almost had, how he'd lifted the man up by the collar, squeezed and twisted, until a detective from a different unit burst into the interrogation room.

The story was told to them almost like the treatment for a bad movie, Cassidy got himself arrested after beating the shit out of someone who had tried to rope his sister into a world of expensive drugs and sex. He was questioned by a couple of cops who knew, and were hunting the man behind the entire operation, and in exchange for dropping charges and forgetting it all, he had to help them out, go under, infiltrate the group. Cassidy told the girls he was a cop, that he would help them, he slept with them but he swore it was consensual, that he never hurt them, and certainly never killed them. He and his new partner knew who had, and were close to nabbing him, so SVU had no choice but to let him go, let him do his job.

It had set Elliot off, he flew into a rage, yelled at Cassidy, yelled at Cragen, even yelled at Olivia, until Cragen told him to go cool off before he got himself suspended. Olivia had run after him, let him take his aggression out on a punching bag for a while, before he stormed off into the locker room.

He took a deep breath as the elevator dropped to the lobby, the jolt snapping him out of his irritated regret. He laid his hand on her back and gave a gentle shove as the doors opened, and he turned his head and kissed her temple. "I love you," he whispered to her.

"I love you back," she replied, shooting him a wink. They headed out of the building, toward their car. They settled into the black SUV, relaxed into the leather seats as Elliot turned the key, and drove home in comfortable silence, their hands tangled over the gear-shift.

"Mommy!" Lizzie's small voice chirped, her little legs carrying her as fast as they could toward the open door.

Olivia laughed as she scooped the child up into her arms. "Hi, sweetie!"

"Hey, you're home early," Julie, the sitter, smiled as she stood up. "Taking a break?"

Elliot kicked the door closed behind him, grinning and running a hand through his daughter's dark blonde hair. "Called it an early night," he said, turning and smiling back at the young woman. He watched as she started to pack her things, looked over at Olivia with an odd expression, and then cleared his throat. "Hey, uh, Jules, how much is your rent, a month?"

Olivia turned her head, tilted it, and raised both brows, knowing what he was about to bring up, something they had talked about a while back.

Julie thought for a moment as she hooked the latch on her bag. "Uh, the place itself is about eighteen hundred...it's doable though, I have roommates, so split, it's six hundred, utilities are extra. Maybe about eight hundred a month?"

Olivia smiled and nodded at Elliot, who took a couple steps toward the girl. "How'd you like to save yourself a lot of money?"

"You know of a cheaper place?" she asked, her eyes wide. "Awesome! Where?"

"Here," he shrugged. "My, uh…" he grinned. "Missus S and me, we were wondering if you'd consider moving in, being here, full-time. That way, we wouldn't have to wake you up at all hours, you'd be able to…"

Julie cut him off, stunned. "Are you serious?" she asked, seeming shocked, but excited. "How much would…"

"Rent free," Olivia said, taking her turn to interrupt as she wrapped an arm around Elliot. "You'd live here, rent free, in return for watching them whenever we can't be here. And when we're home, you can come and go as you please. You'd do your own laundry, though, I barely tolerate doing ours."

"Full use of the kitchen, your boyfriend can come over whenever, and cable, internet, it's all included. It would be our way of paying you for everything you do for our kids," Elliot added, both of his arms curling around Olivia as a hopeful smile grew on his face. "What do you say?"

Julie looked like she was about to burst into tears. "Really?"

Olivia nodded, smiling.

Elliot kissed her on the cheek as he then turned to Julie. "We need an answer, kiddo," he said with a wink, knowing what she'd say.

Julie ran to them and pulled them into a hug, even tickling little Lizzie as she said, "I can't turn that down! Thank you!"

"No, honey, thank you," Olivia said, shifting Lizzie to her other hip. "You've become a part of this family, and the only person we trust with our kids."

Julie blinked away tears, still beaming at them, and looked at Elliot. "When would I be able to…"

"Call Jake, ask him to help you, you can start moving in, tonight." He gave the girl a fatherly pat on the shoulder, laughing when she hopped up and down and ran into the living room to call her boyfriend. He shook his head and looked down at Lizzie. "How's my angel?"

"I don't know," the tot said, and then looked at Olivia. "How are you, Mommy?"

Olivia gasped, a wide smile on her face. "Sweetie, I think Daddy meant…"

"He says you're his angel," the girl shrugged, and then her head dropped to Olivia's shoulder. "I'm good, though. Dickie got in trouble at school for not showing his work in math, but he said he does it in his head."

Rolling her eyes, Olivia laughed. "I've said it before," she started, walking further into the house with Lizzie in her arms, "I hate math."

"We'll show him how to do it, honey," Elliot said, taking Lizzie out of Olivia's arms and setting her down. "Honey, why don't you go upstairs, tell your brother and sisters to decide what they want, we're ordering Chinese."

"Kay!" Lizzie yelped, running up the steps.

As soon as she was out of view, Elliot moved and pulled Olivia into his arms. "Hi," he whispered, kissing her.

She laughed, her mouth pressed to his, and with smiling lips, she deepened the kiss. She looped her arms around his neck, leaned into him, and they laughed as he stumbled backward into the back of the couch.

He leaned against it, moved his hands low on her body, and groaned when her leg hooked around his. "I love you," he mumbled against their kiss. "Fuck, baby, I love you so much."

"I love you," she returned, kissing him eagerly.

"Okay!" Julie chuckled, walking passed them, knowing they didn't even realize she was in the room. "I'll be back in a few hours, this…" she looked up to see the two of them looking at her, smiling. "This means a lot to me. Thank you."

Elliot ran his hands up Olivia's back as he looked over his shoulder at her. "Thank you, Jules," he nodded. "Welcome to the family. Officially." He winked at the young woman and watched her grab her back and run out the door, laughing.

"God, I feel better knowing she'll be here," Olivia said. "It's gonna make things so much easier for us and the kids, and I know…"

Her words were cut off by his lips again, and he held her closer, tighter, as he moved his tongue along hers, a question hanging on by thread, but one he couldn't let loose just yet.

 **A/N: The night with the kids, Julie moves in, and Cragen takes a chance...all his own. It backfires.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: "I Just Want To Start Again..."**

 **DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns the characters and base storyline, but narrative and dialogue belong to me, please and thank you.**

The phone rang at three in the morning, waking Olivia and Elliot out of a sound sleep, and for the first time in a long while, they didn't have to pay it forward by waking up their sitter. With a yawn, Elliot scratched at the stubble on his chin and shook his head, hoping to wake himself up.

Olivia watched as he rose from the bed, his naked body in full view, and she bit her smirking lips as she followed him into the bathroom. "Morning," she breathed from behind him, snaking her hands around his waist, down to his thighs.

"Good fucking morning," he grunted, bucking his hips as he felt her right hand wrap itself around his thick length. He closed his eyes and let his head drop back against her, a slight grin on his face. He'd always awakened with some stiffness, but ever since he met Olivia, he was constantly at full-staff, and she knew it. "God, baby," he moaned, slowly rocking his hips.

She nipped at his earlobe, tightening her grip and moving her hand faster. "Not enough time for what I really want," she said sultrily, and her lips moved to his neck. Her teeth grazed the thin skin between his neck and shoulder, and when she heard him grunt again, she opened her mouth wider and bit down hard.

"Oh, my fucking Christ," he moaned, one arm shooting backward to grip her bare ass. His fingers curled around her flesh, pressing her body further into his as he bucked his hips, fucking her hand the way he wished he could fuck her instead. "Baby," the word was long, each syllable falling on a gravelly moan. He opened his eyes, then, and looked down, watching her hand move, watching as she stroked him, and the sound that came out of his mouth was one he'd never made before, one she'd never heard.

"Like that?" she teased, and she slowed her stroke, swiping her thumb over his tip to wipe away tiny droplets that had eked out of him.

"God, fucking, damn it," he groaned, his eyes still fixed on her hand around his cock. "Liv, don't...fuck," he whimpered, his body beginning to tremble.

She pressed soft kisses to his back, between his shoulder blades, along his spine, and finally she moved her hand again, faster, harder, bringing him over the edge on which he had been so desperately teetering.

He cursed and spat out several variants of her name, his hands curled around the edge of the sink, knuckles white from gripping hard. His dropped jaw locked as his body jerked and twitched, but he had to laugh just a bit, watching his perfectly aimed release land on the drain stop. When he stilled, he turned around and kissed her, hard, his hands raking through her hair. "Why did you…"

"I know what we're walking into," she said, kissing him again. "I need you relaxed, clear headed, and I know that only happens if we…"

Her words were silenced by another hot kiss, and he smiled against her lips. Pulling away, he breathed, "You are fucking amazing." He kissed her once more before turning back around and doing what he had gone into the bathroom to do.

She watched him shave and brush his teeth, and then stepped in front of him when he was finished to brush her own teeth. She yelped when he smacked her ass, and they shared a laugh. She caught her reflection in the mirror and knew, though the day might not end well, it had started off perfectly.

Dressed and ready, the pair headed out, driving in sweet silence toward the address Cragen had given Elliot. "He still…" he started, breaking the quiet. "He told me to go pick you up."

"Good," she returned, one eyebrow arched. "He shouldn't think I'm at your place in the middle of the night. Not...not yet." She shook her head and let out a breath. "Tucker and the chief, that's one thing, this isn't breaking protocol or any law...but Cragen? He'd split us up in a heartbeat."

"We don't know that," he said, though the inside of his cheek was bitten raw, he knew she was right.

She chuckled at his words. "He almost fired Jeffries for even thinking about you…"

"Can we maybe not talk about what she thinks about me?" he cut her off, shuddering. "Okay," he said, parking the car behind a black and white cruiser. "So...we just...hide it. Like we have been."

"Only at work," she said softly, and she reached for his hand, giving it a long squeeze when she took hold of it. "I love you."

"I love you, too, baby," he replied with a wink, and he let her hand go with a sad sigh. "You...you came into my life at a time when I was praying...so so hard...for the chance to start over, get things right, fix the mistakes that put my life and my kids in a black hole." He leaned over and kissed her softly. "You gave me that chance, baby, and I got to start again, with you."

"You asshole," she chuckled as she sniffled and wiped her eyes. "You couldn't have waited to say all of that?"

Smiling at her, he shook his head and kissed her again. He got out of the car, slamming the door behind him. He buttoned his jacket as he ran to Olivia's side, grinning at her as she pulled on a pair of latex gloves. He held out a hand and laughed, seeing her now-dry eyes roll, and he took the gloves as she slapped them into his open palm.

"What have we got?" Olivia asked, trying to shield her eyes from a very bright lamp light. She looked around and said, "This can't be the primary, it's way too…"

"Body dump," Rodgers said, nodding, giving her a glance, apologizing for interrupting. "Pooling in her back, so she's been here a while, but her liver temp puts TOD sometime between ten and eleven last night." He jutted a thumb at the door behind him. "Owner of this place called it in, he came to open up and found her...like this." He looked down at the body, cringing at the torn clothes and bruised skin. "I called you, because her jaw is broken...over extension, and I got fluids."

"One of Cassidy's girls," Olivia whispered, shaking her head, "This is fucking ridiculous." She pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number she'd hoped she'd never have to use, for a reason she swore she'd never need. "Hey, uh, yeah. Yeah, it's me, listen…" she caught Elliot's questioning glare, and she held his stare as she spoke into the phone. "I need a favor. No, not...not personal. I need you to read me and my partner in on a case...big, yeah. We got a killer on the loose, young girls, and we can't touch…" her eyes widened. "Yeah. Exactly. We'll meet you at the station, uh, Sixteenth. Thank you. Bye." She hung up and licked her lips in frustration, shaking her head.

"Do I wanna know?" he asked, folding his arms. "That sounded like...maybe I don't wanna know."

"Just a friend," she said, calming him with her eyes. "He isn't an ex, or an...anything. Just a friend. He knew what case I was talking about, and, uh, he's gonna give the team the go ahead to bring him down, sooner than they'd like. We get to run the…"

"Ah, the fun part," he broke in, dropping his arms. "Who, uh, who'd you call? Who do you know who could possibly…"

"His name's Kevin, and he works with the DEA," she interrupted, "And he's gay." She laughed as he visibly relaxed and she slapped him on the shoulder. "You get so…"

"Possessive, jealous, pig-headed, I know," he listed, and then he smirked. "And you can't deny that you get the same damn way. Every time Jeffries…"

"Okay," she stopped him, and she moved toward the ME. "We got any ID?"

He laughed, loving her jealous streak, and he knelt down beside Rodgers. "Cause of Death?"

Rodgers looked from Elliot to Olivia. "No ID, and she was suffocated, there's bruising around her nose...and with the broken jaw...I imagine, she was...choked by…"

"So the son of a bitch held her nose while she…" Elliot coughed, stood up, and looked at Olivia. "I can't let this go to protect the sanctity of Cass…"

"Call us when you find out who she is, and run the sample," Olivia shouted, stopping Elliot from breaking protocol and getting too angry. "Broad panel, and run it against the internal database, too. This...this could be a cop."

Rodgers looked stunned, but he nodded. "I'll tell you what I can, when I can," he promised, and he signaled his team to get the girl off of the sidewalk and onto a gurney.

Elliot walked up to Olivia, pulling off his gloves, and he gave a hard huff. "This is bullshit. Fucking bullshit!" He turned and kicked a trash can, shaking his head. "These girls...their deaths are some of the most violent...heinous…" his nostrils were flaring and his fists were tightly clenched. "I hope to God your little pal can get us what we need to take these motherfuckers down, because no one…" he seethed for a moment, and then he looked at her. "I would never force you to…"

"I know you wouldn't," she whispered, trying to look into his eyes. "Hey, hey, look at me. Breathe." She held his gaze. "First off, I know you would never push me to do anything, ever. Second, you would never have to, that's the thing about love, El. It's mutual, give and take, I love you and I want to...always…"

"If you don't stop talking, I'm gonna kiss you, and right now...that's a bad idea," he whispered, moving closer to her. "Always, huh?"

"Whenever," she said, her eyes darkening, "Wherever. However." She blinked once. "Always. Ready, willing, and able." She winked at him and moved, heading for the man talking to two uniformed officers, peeling her gloves off and taking a small notebook out of her pocket.

He exhaled, feeling much calmer, and followed her over to talk to the owner of the coffee shop that had been used as a dump site, and he marveled at how only a few words from her lips could tame the wild beast he becomes when he's angry. He listened as best he could, picking up bits of her conversation, but his mind was on her, her grace under fire and skill under pressure, how she kept her composure when he knew damn well she was as pissed off about this entire thing as he was.

"Thanks," her voice broke him out of his thoughts, and she put the notebook and pen in her pocket. "We'll call you if we need to speak with you again, and we will need that tape." She turned to a uniform to her right, whispered something in his ear, and watched as he walked back toward the cafe with the owner.

"Security camera?" Elliot questioned, having caught the last bit of what she said loud and clear.

She nodded. "Guy says it's a clear shot of the entire street just outside the door. I got Franks going with him to get it, we can have...why are you looking at me like that?"

He licked his lips and turned, walking with her toward their car. "People warned me, when Cragen hired you," he told her. "Young cop, first time up at bat with a shiny new shield, they told me you, uh, you'd be a handful, that I'd have to teach you a lot of things before you'd be of any use."

"Who said that?" she asked, a grin tugging at her lips. "You think they were right?"

"Dead wrong, actually," he said, opening the driver's side door. They got in, got settled, and he started the car. "I learn as much from you as I try to teach you, and you're a handful, but in the best fucking way possible." He pulled away from the curb, turned the wheel, and drove out toward the station. "You're the best partner I've ever had, and I gotta say...anyone after you is gonna be such shit."

"You planning on getting a new partner?" she asked him, raising a brow. "I'm not, so I…"

"Well, not now," he cut in, "But eventually, I mean, promotions, and when we get married...have kids...I'm not keeping that a secret, there's no way on God's green earth that I will ever deny my child, so that…"

"By that time, Tucker will have already forced Cragen to change that ridiculous policy, and we'll have already proven...more than we already have...that our personal life doesn't affect how we work." She took a deep breath, and as she puffed it out slowly, she said, "I can't exactly function without you, either, at work or at home."

Elliot lifted his eyes, staring for a moment at the ceiling of the car, and he chuckled. "We really did it, didn't we? We totally ruined each other."

She smiled as she nodded. "And it was the best thing that ever happened to us." She saw his lips purse and she laughed when he blew her a kiss, but as the car rounded a corner and the station house came into view, she felt a chill run up her spine. "I can't believe Cassidy would just...let this happen."

He pulled the car into the spot, parked it, and turned the key, silencing the engine. "You don't know him very well," he told her. "He's always had the markings of a dirty cop. I...I hope I'm wrong." He pressed his lips together as he got out of the car, waited for her to close her door, and hit the button on the alarm. He tugged on his tie as he sped up to meet her at the door, and he ran a hand down her back and whispered a very soft, "I love you," before they pushed their way into the building.

"Ditto," she spat, grinning, knowing that now, it was too risky to say the words, too many people around who shouldn't hear her say them. They took one look at the mass of people waiting for the elevator, and with a silent look, they veered right and took the stairs.

It became a race, pulling and pushing each other, trying to bypass and nudge, and when they made it to their floor, they were red-faced, out of breath and laughing.

"Well, good morning to you," Cragen said, amusement written on his face. He held out two cups of coffee and shook his head like a father who just caught his kids playing in the mud. "Which one of you called in reinforcements?"

Olivia, still breathing heavily, raised her hand. She took a breath and took a sip of her coffee, and with a satisfied sigh, she looked at Cragen. "Thank you," she said, licking her lips and tipping the cup in his direction. "We got there, and we knew...it was Cassidy's case. El and I aren't just gonna sit back and let this bastard kill another kid, so I called someone…"

"Benson!" a voice called from the doorway between the squadroom and Cragen's office.

"Kev," she smiled, heading toward him. The two shared a friendly hug and she looked up at him. "Please, tell me you've got good news for me."

"Introduce me first," he said, his eyes focused and narrowed at Elliot.

Hiding a smirk, she whispered, "He's straight, and he's in a serious relationship, retract your claws." She saw him pout and rolled her eyes. "Kevin Randall, this is my partner, Elliot Stabler."

The men shook hands, declaring some kind of unnecessary truce, and Kevin spoke. "I put the pressure on, the takedown is happening tonight, five o'clock, Pier Sixty-Two. They're being told it's a pickup, a new shipment of girls, my guys...and the two of you, as well as someone from Narco...we'll be waiting. The second they make the trade, we'll make our move, you'll have your killer, I'll have my drug-lord, and two detectives your shop loaned out to us can come back to the playground."

Olivia scraped her teeth over her bottom lip. "You can keep ours, thanks," she gritted, anger flashing in her eyes. "Elliot would never have…"

"And Elliot couldn't take the gig," Cragen interrupted. "For a damn good reason. Cassidy...had nothing to lose, nothing to sacrifice for it. He's doing the best he can, and we're damn lucky he got enough dirt on these pricks to end it, tonight."

"He could have ended it last night," Olivia declared, "And that girl...that girl would still be alive." She clenched her eyes shut, trying to push the horrid way she died out of her mind. "Shit," she shrugged as she sipped her coffee again.

Kevin rested a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry you had another victim over this, but trust me when I say, one way or another, this ends, tonight."

She nodded, and then her head turned. She looked at Elliot, who offered a sure and easy smile, and then at Cragen. "I don't know if I can work with him, after this. I can't...I don't trust him."

Cragen inhaled and exhaled through his nose, his nostrils flaring. "Neither do I, but we have to give him the benefit of the doubt, here, and we have to take his full statement when this...ends. He may not have had any choice but to let this happen."

With another roll of her eyes, Olivia moved to her desk, sat, and took another sip of her coffee. Before she set the cup down on her blotter, though, her phone rang. She answered with a dejected sounding, "Benson." Her eyes widened as she listened to the man on the phone, they shot a hard look toward Elliot, and then one toward Kevin. "Check it again. No, I'll wait. Do it again!"

"Oh, God," Elliot breathed, "I know what's happening here." He moved over to her, knelt down to her level, rested a hand on her knee, and he whispered, "The lab?"

She nodded, her eyes welling up. She swallowed hard and said into the phone, "So...you're sure, then. Absolutely…" her voice cut out. She swallowed again as she took a deep breath. "Thanks, Ryan." With a shaking hand, she dropped the phone back into the cradle, a tear rolled down her cheek, and she licked her lips. "Rodgers, uh, put a rush on the swabs from the girl's mouth and legs...and, uh…" she bit her lips hard, trying to find the composure she'd had all morning. "O'Halloran got a direct hit."

Elliot saw the look in her eyes. He looked from her to Cragen and back again, and he knew immediately. "Cassidy."

 **A/N: How does he talk his way out of this one? Is Kevin really a good guy? And we meet the new ADA. Jeffries comes back with a vengeance, forcing Elliot to take another chance...with Olivia.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: "Maybe you could show me how to try..."**

 **DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns the characters and base storyline, but narrative and dialogue belong to me, please and thank you.**

"You sure you're okay?" Cragen eyed Olivia with worry etched on his face. He tilted his head as he took a step toward her, staring at the bruise darkening her cheek.

Olivia nodded with a dismissive smile. "Didn't even hurt," she said with crossed arms, leaning against the glass in the pit, staring through the window at Elliot. He was angry, his sleeves rolled up past his elbows, his fists balled and jaw clenched as he cursed and yelled at Brian Cassidy. Her eyes shot to Tucker, who was leaning against the far wall watching, amused. "I just..this...none of this makes sense."

Cragen sighed. "It was a bad call, but he didn't have a choice," he explained. "You hear him, in there, he was being watched, knowing if he didn't do as they told him…"

"Captain," Olivia cut in with narrow eyes. "That's not an excuse, there are ways...when you're in that situation…" she shook her head. "He is sitting in there, talking his way out of a rape, making excuses for standing by and watching as Criterro forced that girl into submission, to the point where she was literally choking on his penis. He knew she was dying! He fucking killed her, in cold blood and Cassidy did nothing!"

"Calm down," Cragen whispered, shocked at her outburst, reaching for her arms. He was more worried now, watching her yell fiercely, tears running down her face from open, unblinking eyes, and he was certain she didn't even realize they'd fallen. "He made the choices he needed to make to come out alive."

"And when he got that badge, he understood that he would have to sacrifice himself to save someone else," she intoned, her voice dark and serious. "It's something we all fucking understand, something we accept!" She swallowed hard. "I know, you've even said it, that Elliot would have never even been offered this assignment, because he has kids, a family that needs him. You told me that Cassidy was let in on this because he had nothing to lose, no one that would be left behind, so even you knew that this could cost him his life! He knew that! He understood that! He should have done his job, that girl was only seventeen years old! She was a child!"

Cragen caught her wide, red eyes, shaking his head. "I didn't...what?" He took a shaking breath. "Does Elliot know that? Why didn't I know that?"

She licked her lips and shook her head. "Elliot knows, why do you think he's giving Cassidy the full Stabler experience," she jutted her chin toward the glass. She sniffled and swatted the offensive tears that fell from her eyes. "I don't think he's being honest, here, because if this was just...self preservation," she scoffed, "Then he wouldn't have fucking hit me and raised his gun at Elliot." She shot Cragen a look. "He had his gun, the whole time. Didn't know that, either, did you?"

Cragen narrowed his eyes, growing angry, and he stormed into the interrogation room to join Elliot and Tucker, unaware that as he walked in, Olivia walked out.

It was well past three in the morning when the front door opened, snapping Olivia's head up. She slowly sat up, eyeing him as he walked into the living room. "Oh, God," she breathed, standing fast. "What happened?" She stared at his hunched over figure, the wrinkled mess his suit had become, the exhaustion seeping out of every muscle.

He tried to steady his breathing, his closed eyelids twitching, and without warning, without any sort of indication, his body turned, his arm swung hard and fast, and the wall behind him now had a nice, round cubby hole in it. "Son of a bitch," he growled, pulling his fist out of the crater, letting chipped paint and plaster crumble and fall to the carpet at his feet.

"Jesus, Elliot!" she hissed sharply, moving fast to his side. She rested both hands on his shoulders and turned him to face her, staring into his pained and contorted face. "The kids are asleep upstairs, so is Julie! Calm down! You swore to me, this side of you doesn't come home, ever!"

He nodded, licking his lips, draping his arms over her and holding her in apologetic silence. "I'm sorry, so fucking sorry, I just...I needed to hit something, and I couldn't…" he sniffled. "With Tucker and Cragen in that room, I couldn't hit Cassidy."

Her hands smoothed over his back, calming him. "What happened?"

He pushed her back for a moment, looking into her eyes, and then at her face. One of his hands grazed the left side, across her cheek, and he winced at the purpling skin beneath his touch. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, his lips and voice trembling.

"Baby," she whispered, moving closer to him, "Talk to me, what the hell happened."

After licking his lips again, he took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and held her gaze. "The bastard was in on it," he seethed, "The whole time. Crittero and his goons went after his sister because he was the one who fucking owed them money, she was not…" he shook his head. To save his sister, he got himself pinched, knowing the only way out would be to volunteer for this fucking sting op, but the whole fucking time he...he played us. He was the inside man, not the double agent."

Olivia paled, her jaw dropped and one hand fell away from his body to pull anxiously at the straps of her pajama tank. "He confessed? He told you all of…"

"You know me," he interrupted with another sniffle, "I'm, uh, very persuasive, yeah?" His hands trailed from her shoulders, down her arms, around her waist, until they palmed her ass and pulled her closer. "I would have gotten him to talk sooner, but, ya know, Eddie wouldn't let me beat it out of him."

She gave a small laugh as one hand flew up to cup his cheek. "There's the Elliot Stabler that lives here," she said softly, her thumb running along the skin under his right eye. "Welcome home."

He dropped his head to hers and took another slow, deep breath. "We worked with him, we...well, I mean, we never really trusted him, but…" he inhaled, breathing her in, and he brushed his nose against hers. "Cragen told me you had some kind of meltdown about this. What...why did this get to you, honey? We see shit like this more often than…"

"He took an oath," she interrupted. "We all did. Elliot, when Chief Muldrew handed me my shield, I knew that...there was a chance I would have to make sacrifices. For somebody's child, someone's grandmother...my partner." She moved and pressed her lips to his quickly. "I'm ready, I've always been ready, and now, more than ever, I am prepared to lay my life on the line for you, for our kids, for someone who...who needs me to save them. I mean, I will not go down without a fight, but it's something a good fucking cop just...does."

"He wasn't a good cop," he told her, kissing her softly, his hands rubbing the rounds of her ass. "He was one of the monsters, baby." He looked into her eyes. "And you...you will never be in a position that you can't get your way out of, I will be by your side, always. Baby, we will always protect each other, and any innocent lives we are bound to defend, and we will always...always...come out alive." He kissed her, more passionately this time, deeper, and he rocked forward as he clutched her ass tighter, making sure she could feel his hardness against her heat.

She moaned, then, realizing that this was how he needed to release the tension, let go of his fury, and reassure both her and himself that they were nothing like Cassidy and there were certain sacrifices they would never really have to make. She gasped against his lips, her fingers hooking into his back, as he bucked into her again, driving the point home even more.

He moved forward, his body lumbering forward, attached to hers, pushing her into the wall. One hand moved from her ass to her waist and began to shove down the flannel pants, and it worked its way into them. Two thick, rough fingers slipped between her swelling folds, causing another delicious sound to spill out of her mouth and into his. Spurred on, he twisted his wrist and eased those fingers into her hot entrance, crooking them in a slow, hard rhythm.

"Elliot," she panted, his ministrations hitting perfect chords and strumming all the right strings to make her body sing. Her nails dug deeper into him, her hips thrust at the same pace as his fingers.

"Fuck," he breathed hotly against her neck as he pressed harder into her, "You are so fucking wet, so tight." He licked a long line from the top of her shoulder to just behind her ear, and he sucked her lobe into his mouth. "Cum for me," he commanded, turning his wrist, flicking and thrusting his fingers. He panted into her ear, the heat causing more chills and shivers to course through her.

Her head fell back against the wall, her lips parted slightly as she trembled, giving him what he wanted. "Oh, God," she whispered, and as she whimpered the end of her release, she felt him sliding down her pants further.

One of his arms hooked around her right leg, he lifted it up and pressed his palm against the wall, his lips still nipping at her ear.

Her eyes darted downward and she moaned again at the sight of him stroking himself, and she briefly wondered when he dropped trau. Her thoughts were snapped in half when he moved his left hand to her mouth and pressed hard, preparing to muffle her scream. He dragged his lips to her neck, and bit hard at the same time he bucked forward, impaling her fully, chuckling against her skin as he felt the reverb of her cry in his palm.

Her closed eyes watered as she sank low, draping over him, allowing his body to keep her up against the wall, her resolve giving way to full submission. She gave another stifled cry, rolling her hips against him to meet his eager thrusts, something powerfully different about the way he loved her at this moment.

He released her neck with a wet pop, grinning at the reddish mark left in its wake, nodding proudly at his work, and he gripped her chin with the hand around her mouth, turning her head roughly to look at him.

She opened her still-watering eyes, looked deeply into his, marvelling at the dark, almost navy color they'd turned. She moaned something into his hand and then licked at his palm, bit at his fingers, trying to tell him what she wanted, what she needed.

He moved his hand and replaced it with his mouth, kissing her roughly. His tongue invaded her mouth, swirling with hers, swiping along her teeth, journeying almost down her throat, as if trying to reach her soul with his kiss. He moaned, groaned, grunted as his hips kept a punishing pace. His skin hit hers with every buck, slapping against her hard, as he gave her everything he had, every single inch of him pushing in and sliding out, over and over again, until he felt that she well and thoroughly claimed. He garbled something into their deep, fiery kiss.

She must have understood him because she made the same exact jibbered sound right back into his mouth, still trying to meet him blow for eager blow. She pulled her mouth away from his, needing to breathe, needing to look at him. Her eyes opened as she panted heavily, her head fell forward against his. "I love you," she whispered, "Fuck, I love you."

"Oh, shit," he panted, holding her gaze steadily, "I love you, too, baby. So...so fucking much." He moved harder, deeper, though he didn't think it possible, slamming into her hard. His eyes stayed open and on hers, his forehead beginning to drip with sweat, mixing with her own perspiration as their heads nuzzled. "Oh, my God," he growled softly, feeling the familiar tightening of his balls, the burn beginning low in his groin. "Oh, fuck, baby," he said a bit louder, his eyes widening slightly.

It amazed her how something so expected and anticipated could take them by surprise, as she, too, gasped in pure pleasure as the start of her intense climax ignited in her belly. "Oh, my God," she breathed, unable to blink, unwilling to look away from him. She loved to watch him, as he watched her, the love and desire, lust and trust and faith...that shot from her eyes to his, every single time he watched her like this, watched her cum. She bit her lip as her muscles tightened and clamped, and a glorious ache sank deeply into her thighs.

"Baby," he grunted, finding resistance now, pressure and tension making his journey in and out of her a hard one to complete. He worked through, somehow, the beautiful friction it caused making both of them cry each other's names softly. "Fuck, baby, oh, fuck," he puffed, and he saw the flicker in her eyes that told him to get ready for her explosion. "Yes, baby, yes," he cooed, eager now, excited as he struggled to keep pistoning. He let out a thrilled and victorious grunt as he felt her clench even harder, looking right into her dilating pupils as her jaw dropped and her nails broke the skin on his shoulder blades. "Fucking, yes, fuck," he panted.

She shook and quaked, trying to roll against him, suck him deeper into her, keep him there as he wracked her body with the most incredible pulsing tension. She moaned, her open eyes watching his roll back, as hot wetness trailed down her thighs.

"Fuck, I love that," he huffed, thrusting into her one final time before stilling, so deeply inside of her, still bucking forward, making sure his body rubbed against her clit and gave her a tremendous aftershock. He jerked and let out soft, rhythmic grunts as he came, hot and more powerful than he'd imagined. He stayed, his ass clenching as he gave shorter, shallower thrusts, making them both moan weakly. He didn't want it to end, he couldn't bring himself to stop. "Oh, my God, baby," he panted as his words trembled.

Slowly, he lowered her leg, leaned forward to sandwich her between his body ann the wall, and kissed her, a long and deep kiss.

"Elliot," she quivered, her hands slipping down and out from under his shirt and jacket, resting on his bare ass. She caressed it, her fingertips drawing spiraling circles on his skin. She chuckled as he twitched at her touch, and she whispered, "I love you."

He smiled at her, seeing her own warm and satisfied, loving grin, and he kissed her as he whispered, "I fucking love you, baby."

They calmed each other with another languid kiss, and he was about to move to lift her up, hoping to carry her into bed, but his phone rang, breaking them apart. He gave her a questioning glance, knowing that Cragen wouldn't call him in so soon after being let go. He pulled out of her with a begrudging hiss and bent down to fish his phone out of his pants pocket. He pulled them back up and let them hang unzipped on his hips as he answered the call.

"Stabler," he said, reaching low for Olivia's pants. He pulled them up her body, laying soft kisses along her right leg as he listened to his caller. "Who is this?" he asked in a lilt. He kissed the end of her nose, as he smirked. "Oh, hi. Well, uh, yeah, you...you are bothering me, it's four-thirty in the morning." He leaned toward Olivia, swiped his tongue across her lips, and kissed her, moaning, unconcerned with the person on the phone hearing. "Hmm? No, no, I was just kissing...you don't know her, no," he laughed.

Olivia raised a brow and mouthed, "Who is that?"

Elliot, rolling his eyes, mouthed back to her, "Jeffries," and then grabbed her hand. He pulled her into their bedroom and gave her a fast, playful shove onto the mattress. He pulled off his sweat-soaked shirt and suit jacket with one hand as he held the phone with the other. "You want to what with me? No, that's okay, really. I have no desire to…" he scoffed. "Because I already went to that seminar. Why are you even calling me at…" he laughed again, out of disbelieving annoyance. "No, you can't come here, I already told you, I've got a girlfriend, and she is...what? No! No, you can't join in...watch? Are you out of your mind?" Having had enough, he hung up and tossed his phone onto the nightstand, as he wiggled his hips to let his pants fall. He gathered his clothes and tossed them into the hamper, then turned to look at Olivia. "She has balls," he spat, and he crawled over her, his naked body enveloping hers.

She laughed, running her hands up and down his back, and she closed her eyes, letting him pull her clothes off of her, completely this time. "She wanted to watch?"

"Yeah, only after I told her she couldn't join us," he stated, tossing her pajamas like a basketball into the hamper. He looped an arm around her as he worked their snuggled bodies under the covers and he draped her over him as he wrapped the quilt around them. "I, uh, I think I lied to her, though."

"You certainly did not," Olivia snapped, glaring at him. "No way in hell is she…"

"I told her I was with my girlfriend," he interrupted, smiling at her confusion and kissing her softly. "I should have told her...I was with my fiancée." He laughed again, this time in response to her wide-eyed, stunned, smile. He kissed her lips, and then her forehead, and then he pulled her down to his chest. "Goodnight, baby," he whispered, feeling her pounding heart beat down against his chest, and as it slowed, he closed his eyes. He never thought he'd feel the way she made him feel, never imagined love being so intense and pure. He realized, as sleep began to take him, that he needed to try, a second time, to be a husband, hers. With that final conscious thought, he gave into dreams, knowing that, with Olivia, he wouldn't need to try at all, because he felt as though he already was, and now, he just needed to prove it.

 **A/N: Did he just propose? Did she take him seriously? A day with the kiddos, and answers, next.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: "Maybe you could take me in..."**

 **DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns the characters and base storyline, but narrative and dialogue belong to me, please and thank you.**

"Mom," Olivia rolled her eyes, clutching the phone between her ear and shoulder as she scooped scrambled eggs onto a plate in front of Maureen. "No, I...well, not at the house, no. And if we...a place that doesn't serve...you're right, I don't trust you, especially not around my kids."

Elliot bit his lip, trying not to listen to the conversation as he doled out buttered toast to his kids and dropped a plateful of bacon into the middle of the table. "Twenty minutes," he said loudly.

"Thank you, twenty!" all four children chorused, eating happily. It was one of the ways Olivia had implemented organization and manners, household rules and behavior. She'd taken a cue, literally, from her time in a college theater program, one she'd only joined to hone skills she'd need for undercover gigs.

It made sure the kids listened, heard exactly what was said, and it not only worked, but the kids loved how it always seemed to make a game out of things.

The smile that had grown on Olivia's face faded and her shoulders slumped as she walked into the kitchen and dropped the pan and spatula into the sink. "Mom, don't...please, stop crying, I know you...you didn't mean it." Her eyes dropped. "You never mean it," she almost whispered, venom on the words. "Saturday, fine, but if anything happens between now and then, you can forget it. I want you sober, completely sober for this...and don't...don't make me regret this." She hung up and turned fast, leaning against the kitchen sink. She dropped her head into her hands and tried to take a deep breath.

She jumped, her head popping up, when she felt hands on her arms, but she relaxed almost instantly as her eyes landed on Elliot's worried face. She shook her head and gave a dejected laugh. "She wants to spend the day with us, meet the kids, says she's sorry for whatever she did to make me keep her out of...my life, and she doesn't understand how I could have gotten married and had four kids without including her in any of it."

"She seriously doesn't get it?" he questioned, his hands smoothing over her shoulders and beginning to rub hard. "Well, I mean, you didn't...but you would have. We kept her away from the kids, regardless, for a good fucking reason. I...I don't even like when you're around her, the way she is sometimes." He kissed her forehead and smiled at the moan she let fly when he rubbed harder, working tension away. "She knows what she did," he whispered.

"I told her...we'd meet her for lunch on Saturday," she confessed softly. "Somewhere public, somewhere she can't order a drink, where we can leave if things get…"

He kissed her, stopping her words, and he let his hands slide down her back as he pulled her closer. He peld away only long enough to yell, "Ten minutes!" He chuckled as he returned his lips to hers, hearing the kids reply and dishes begin to shuffle and clang.

She brought one hand up to hold the left side of his face, the other hooking around his waist. Her lips moved against his, her tongue danced with him to a slow, erotic song, and it wasn't until a tiny throat cleared they broke apart.

Elliot turned and he and Olivia looked at the children, standing between the archway and them, carrying their empty plates and cups. "Oh, well, hi there," he said with a grin.

"You're giving Mommy cooties!" Lizzie yelled, looking at him like an irritated parent more so than a six year old child.

Olivia burst out in a hard laugh, her hands still in place on Elliot, her heart full and happy. "Sweetheart, it's okay. I had my Cooties shot, so…"

"Oh," Lizzie sighed with a relaxed smile. "Okay."

"Gimme these," Elliot chuckled, taking the small stacks of dishes from each kid. "Get your coats on, grab your bookbags, lunches, and wait by the door."

The kids ran off as Elliot quickly loaded the dishwasher. He turned to Olivia, giving her another slow kiss, and then whispered, "I love you."

She smiled at him. "I love you," she breathed against his lips, kissing him once again before clearing her throat, grabbing her phone off the counter, and heading out into the living room to grab her jacket and keys.

He watched her move as he trailed behind, his entire body heating up. He'd never been happier than he was now, and it was the way he wanted to feel for the rest of his life. He met his family by the door, opened it, set the alarm, and grabbed the keys out of Olivia's hands. "Go," he spat, and the small troop headed out and toward the car in the driveway as he closed and locked the front door behind him.

The kids sang along to the radio, while Olivia danced to the cheery, catchy tune, as they drove toward the school. The sun was shining brighter today, they all thought so, and when Elliot reached over to grab Olivia's hand over the gear shift and starting singing louder than his kids, the light hit all of their hearts just as hotly.

After dropping the kids off, giving each one a hug and kiss, they sped off for their station, hoping that what waited for them at work wouldn't completely ruin their good moods. As Elliot turned the wheel to roll the car into the lot, he looked over at her. "Baby, uh...last night…"

"This morning," she corrected, reminding him that whatever he was going to talk about had happened less than four hours ago.

He grinned and nodded. "Yeah, right," he chuckled. "Anyway, when I said...when I told you that I should have told Jeffries...I mean, I think I was trying to…" he licked his lips as parked the car and turned the key. "I wasn't asking…"

"I didn't think you were," she interrupted. "Didn't sound like a question to me." She pokes the inside of her cheek with her tongue, trying not to smirk at the bemused expression on his face.

He laughed at her as he unhooked his seatbelt, moved across the console, and gripped her head in his hands. He brushed his nose against hers, twice, and laughed again. "I'm gonna ask you, though. Soon, and you're gonna say…"

"Yes, baby," she whispered, just before lifting her head a bit and kissing him. "When you ask, that's my answer." She kissed him again, arching her back, feeling him trying to unbuckle her seatbelt for her.

He pulled her closer to him once she was free from the strap, and he deepened his kiss with a moan of her name. He bunched up the fabric of her blazer in his fist as he tried like hell to get closer, feel more of her, until he realizes where they were, and that they were going to be late for work. "Fuck," he groaned, pulling back fast. "Damn it to hell, why?" he complained, tugging on his pants and rolling his hips. He squeezed the bridge of his nose and tried to breathe slowly, attempting to calm down after suddenly getting so worked up.

"I was just as far gone as you were," she said, a hand over her heart. "Just kissing you...shit."

"Well, you can at least hide it!" He thrust his hands, gesturing to his lap. "It's pretty fucking obvious, here, baby!"

She let her eyes drop, licking her lips as they landed on his very prominent erection, and then shot him a heated look. "How the fuck did I get so damn lucky?"

"Same way I did," he winked at her as he smoothed out his green striped tie, and moved to get out of the car. He pulled on the cuffs of his grey suit, and then popped the collar of his pale yellow button down shirt. "Cragen's gonna give us shit," he said over to her, clicking the button on the fob to lock the car.

"About what?" She brushed her bangs out of her eyes and winced, having grazed her bruised cheek.

He pointed to her light grey pants and matching jacket, her yellow and green shirt, and then tugged lightly on his tie once more. "We match. Again."

She shrugged with a short chuckle. "We're cute," she slapped him on the shoulder as they walked into the lobby of the Sixteenth Precinct. She held up a hand, waving at the security guard, and as she and Elliot stepped up to the elevator, a familiar voice called to her. "What?" she questioned.

Kevin hugged her as she turned around and he grinned almost evilly at Elliot as he held a hand out to him. "I know, uh, you got the confession you needed, but I need to get a few words in with your...friend."

"He was never a friend," Elliot said, blinking quickly. He gnawed on his lip as he hit the button again, as if it would make the thing come faster. Something about this guy struck a nerve, and he wanted to get Olivia away from him.

Kevin let his eyes wander over Elliot's body again, and he hummed appreciatively before looking at Olivia. In a whisper, he asked, "Are you sure he's not…"

"Very straight, and he's getting married, knock it off," she scolded her friend. "You can talk to him, Kev, he's probably still up in holding. Cragen held him here for, uh, for this," she pointed to her eye.

"Yeesh," Kevin cringed. "You did a pretty decent job covering it up, but I saw the punch. You, uh, you took it like a champ, though." He slapped her in the shoulder and then moved beside Elliot, staring at the way his fingers drummed along his arms impatiently. "Damn," he muttered.

The elevator doors slid open and the three of them stepped into it, each reaching for the same button. They laughed at the awkward moment, but shrugged it off as Elliot said, "You taking Cassidy off our hands? Making him a federal prisoner?"

"Depends on what he has to say," Kevin remarked. "We got Crittero cold, but we can really stack the charges if your guy corroborates…"

"Stop calling him ours," Elliot cracked, moving fast when the ding sounded and the doors opened. He led the trio down the hall, toward the SVU squadroom. "He lost every friend he had in this unit the moment he switched sides, so whatever you need to say or do to him, go ahead. No one here will stop you."

"What he has to do to who?" Cragen asked, stepping up to them in the hallway. As had become his habit, he handed Olivia and Elliot coffee and folded his arms. "What are we not stopping?"

"Kevin needs to take Cassidy in for questioning," Olivia said, sipping her coffee, "On behalf of the DEA."

Cragen took a deep breath and gave them both a serious look. "That...that's gonna be a...problem."

"What?" Kevin asked, annoyed. "Why?"

Jeffries came up behind Cragen, shooting a mildly seductive glance as she waved a file in her hands. "Someone beat the shit out of him," she said, holding the folder out to Elliot. "Wanna come with me to the hospital when he wakes up?"

Elliot flipped open the file, grunting once as he read. "No," he said flatly. "Take Kevin, here, it's his case now." He slapped the folder against Kevin's chest and walked into the squadroom, ignoring the way the man glared lustfully at him.

Olivia rolled her eyes as she followed, taking another sip of her coffee, officially declaring her good mood gone. "We know who did it?"

Cragen sidestepped Kevin and leaned against Cassidy's empty desk, crossing his arms. "Sheffield said he didn't see anything, but, ya know, I think he just turned a blind eye. Cops don't usually like when their brothers turn out to be dirty, so he would've gladly let someone get in a whack or two."

Elliot took a long gulp of his coffee. "Yeah, but what about the cameras? Another CO, a uni, someone with a fucking conscience?" He shook his head. "I hated the son of a bitch, but just letting someone beat the piss out of him...makes them dirty, too."

Jeffries grinned at him and dropped a hand to his shoulder. "Good little Catholic boy," she said placatingly, and when he turned up his face to look at her, she lowered her voice. "I bet you commit your share of sins, huh?"

"You'd have to ask my, uh, fiancee," he said, and when she gave him a stunned look and lifted her hand off of him, he chuckled. With another shake of his head, he downed the rest of his coffee and tossed the cup into the trash can on the side of his desk. "How badly was he hurt?"

Cragen hummed, and then he cleared his throat. "He's alive, nothing was, uh, life-threatening. He's only out cold because they had to sedate him." He looked at Olivia. "He was putting up a fight on the way into the ambulance, like someone else we know."

Olivia rolled her eyes skyward, innocently sipping her coffee, and licked her smirking lips. "So while we're waiting for Sleeping Beauty to come to, what have we got?"

Munch came up behind her from the side table, his own cup of coffee in his hand. "Believe it or not, nothing, at the moment." He brushed powdered creamer off of his black suit sleeve. "The new ADA is on her way up to make her introductions, Rodgers wants us to make nice with the new daytime ME, and we finally got one of those coffee pots that makes it one cup at a time so you…"

"There is a God," Olivia quipped with a grateful grin. She laughed when Munch pouted, and patted his arm. "Only because, you know, sometimes I like the flavored coffee, right?"

Munch nodded skeptically. "Sure, Benson," he said, plopping into his seat. "Hey, you wanna stop trying to blow up Stabler with your mind and help me with this pile of paperwork? Half of it's yours."

Jeffries snapped out of her haze, turning her desirous eyes away from Elliot, and she sat behind her desk and grabbed a folder, mumbling something under her breath. She moved, wrinkling her red suit, and shook her head in an attempt to forget what Elliot had just said to her.

Cragen, though, smirked. "You know, I'm trying to get her to back off," he said. "I've talked to her, made a mark in her jacket, threatened disciplinary action, even told her she has to go to a sexual harassment seminar next weekend."

Elliot gave Cragen a telling look and dropped his voice to just above a whisper. "Yeah," he scoffed. "I know. She called me, after four in the morning, and asked me to go with her." He licked his lips. "She even, uh, asked if she could...I mean, I know she was just saying it to push my buttons, she's harmless, but it was...awkward."

Cragen opened his mouth to ask what he was trying to say, when Tucker walked into the room. "Morning," he said shortly, nodding at everyone, and then he smiled at Olivia and held a hand out to Elliot.

Shaking it, Elliot nodded back. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, nothing," Tucker said too quickly. "Don, a word?" He shot Jeffries a narrow-eyed look. "In private?"

Cragen nodded, leading Tucker into his office, leaving the rest of hs unit wondering, knowing whatever was happening wasn't good.

 **A/N: Who attacked Cassidy? When does Kevin leave? Who is joining the unit? And another chance that Elliot and Olivia are forced to take, hits them hard.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: "Somewhere underneath your skin..."**

 **DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns the characters and base storyline, but narrative and dialogue belong to me, please and thank you.**

"I really don't want to be here right now," Elliot fumed, his back to the woman, as he leaned against the white wall of the hospital waiting room with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes trained dead ahead. His nostrils flared and his lips twisted from side to side as if trying to find the best sneer possible, her mere presence getting under his skin. "Don't talk to me, just...do your job."

"How can I do that without talking to you?" the woman queried, raising one dark eyebrow. "I kinda need to talk to my part…"

"I'm not your partner," Elliot spat viciously, and then he shook his head and rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't even be here, with you, if you didn't run to fucking Cragen with some bullshit story about Olivia being too personally invested in this…"

"She is!" Jeffries yelled back, tilting her head. Her curly hair flopped into her eyes as she took a chance and stepped closer to him. "Cragen fucking knew it! She completely broke down, watching his interrogation, she was ready to…"

Elliot turned with fire in his eyes. "She broke down because Cassidy raped a teenage girl, let her die! He almost shot me and threw a couple of punches at her…" he flailed his arms, his temper rising, and he didn't seem bothered by the people staring at him. "She broke down because someone she fucking worked with was one of the reasons we do this fucking job! It had shit to do with his little crush on her, which, not that it's any of your fucking business, never led to anything! She's...been in a serious relationship, since before she even joined the unit!"

"She never slept with him?" Jeffries asked softly, stunned, her eyes narrow. "But I thought that…"

"Olivia Benson is a lot fucking smarter than that," Elliot laughed, "And, like I said, she's got someone...she's getting married...Cassidy never stood a fucking chance."

Jeffries shook her head fast as she moved closer to Elliot. "I think you and I both know that relationships never work for the people in our unit. Too messy, too complicated. You can't talk to them about work, put the horror in their heads, and you're never home, not enough to matter. That's why you got divorced, that's why Olivia probably cheated on her…"

"She didn't sleep with Cassidy, she never even wanted to," Elliot interrupted defensively. "I got divorced because my wife decided that we made a fucking mistake in high school. I agreed with her. I wasn't...I wasn't in love with her, not the way a husband should have been, so she left me and the kids, and wants to forget the last nine years of her life. I was home plenty, and I am there for every second of my kids' lives, and the woman...the woman I'm with now? I talk to her about work, about everything, I let her in and she is my rock, and I would really...really appreciate it if you would stop trying to fucking get in my pants, because no matter what you do, or say, I will never fucking betray her or the life we've built together."

Jeffries took a deep breath, swatted a few errant curls out of her face, and ran her hands down the blazer of her red suit, wiping them clean of the sweat that had pooled in her palms as he spoke. "Why?" she asked, her voice trembling. "We've been working together for years, you and me have a history, don't we? I knew things were shitty with you and your wife, and I always tried to let you know that if you needed someone...for anything...I was there. When I realized you were too morally righteous to cheat on her, I figured I only had to wait until you pulled the plug on the marriage. When it happened, I thought…" she swallowed hard and cleared her throat. "Why wasn't I your next choice, huh?"

Elliot blinked his eyes, unable to believe what he was hearing. "Well, for one thing, you said it yourself, we work together," he shrugged, but he smirked. Technically, he wasn't working with Olivia when he fell for her, not officially. So no broken rules. "And what history? A couple of cases here and there, when Munch couldn't physically handle it, and Cassidy couldn't figure it out?" He squinted at her. "You think a couple of beers at Barney's meant something?" He licked his lips. "I met someone...only a couple of months after Kathy left, and she...it was over for me the minute I looked into her eyes. I've never felt anything like that before, and the way I love her...there's no one else, ever. There's just her, for the rest of my life, and if she ever...if she ever leaves me…" he choked on the last word, closing his eyes hard. "I'd never survive that," he whispered as she flapped his eyes open again. "It wasn't you...because I think...it had to be her. God gave me her."

Jeffries was stunned into silence, never hearing him talk that way about anyone before, never being so honest with her about anything. "Wow," she breathed, allowing her peach-tinged lips to smile slightly, making her mocha skin somehow brighter. "That...you really do love her? Enough to marry her so soon after...you failed the first time."

"It wasn't right the first time," Elliot offered with a nod. "With her...it's right. She's right. She's...everything."

Seeing something in his eyes, Jeffries moved, mistaking his love for Olivia as something else entirely, and she frowned when he backed far away and made an almost horrified face at her.

"Are we interrupting something?" a deep voice asked, sounding frustrated and annoyed.

Elliot was the first to turn, Jeffries too embarrassed and hurt to move, and his eyes lit up. "What are you two doing here?" he asked, running to the woman on whom his eyes had landed.

She grinned at him, but stopped him from hugging her, noting Jeffries still staring in his direction. "Cragen never bought her bullshit story," she said, folding her arms. "He just needed her to think he took it seriously, since he came down hard on her over her infatuation with you. I came with Kevin…"

"Is that...is that a tattoo?" Kevin asked, interrupting Olivia, tilting his head and inching a finger closer to Elliot's rolled up sleeve.

"Uh, yeah," Elliot said, backing away from someone for the second time in less than ten minutes. "I got a couple of 'em," he said with a smug grin. He chuckled at the new expression on Kevin's face, and then turned to look at Olivia. "So you're here, why?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "You are just loving the fact that you've got the two of them drooling over you," she accused.

With a shrug he told her, "When you're hot, you're hot." He lowered his head and whispered. "But what really gives my ego a swollen head...is the woman I'm gonna marry. I know I'm not good enough for her, I know she's way outta my league, and the fact that she chose me...that she looks at me like she wants me...that she loves me…" he licked his lips. "That's why I'm an arrogant son of a bitch. And I don't really care who else wants me, they can drool all they want, I'm spoken for."

She pressed her lips together as her heart thumped against her chest. "Okay, then," she panted, her body trembling. She raked a hand through her hair and shook off the urge to kiss him, saying, "I came to drop Kevin off and pick you up. We got a vic across town, not our jurisdiction but...special circumstances."

"Is that why Tucker was there?" Elliot asked, waving goodbye to Kevin and throwing a semi-apologetic look toward Jeffries. "What he was talking to Cragen about, before Jeffries ran into his office and accused you of boning Cassidy."

Nodding, she led him through the hall and toward the revolving hospital doors. "We were requested, personally, by the girl's father." She gasped when she felt Elliot's body against hers, his obvious arousal against her ass. She shot a warning look over her shoulder.

When they made it through the doors, outside, he tugged on his tie and smirked at her. "Those spaces are fucking small, and they turn slow as shit, I didn't want to wait for the next…"

"Right," she chuckled, "I, uh, heard you, by the way."

He looked at her quizzically.

She licked her lips as she unlocked the blue car, its flashers on, parked halfway on the curb near the doors. "When you, uh, when you were talking to Jeffries." She opened the driver's side door and took a breath, scraping her teeth over her lower lip, watching his face contort.

"How much...uh...what did you…" he cleared his throat as he opened his door, shoved one foot into the car, and bit his lip.

"Everything after...you two were pretty heated," she told him, "Kev and I...we tried to get your attention a couple of times, but…"

"How much did you hear?" he asked again, his voice more firm, a hint of fear in its tremble.

"We walked up to you guys when you told her...you thought marrying Kathy was a mistake," she admitted, and then she smiled, "And I heard you tell her how much you love me, and you'd never do anything to…"

"I do," he nodded, "And I won't. Ever." He got into the car and slammed the door, trying to slow his breathing, feeling less ashamed and more relieved that she'd heard it all. He heard the door to his left close and the car start, and he didn't look over as he said, "I meant every fucking word I said to her."

"I know you did," she whispered to him, pulling the car out of the emergency driveway, "You know I...I feel the same way. I think...you were right. When you said that God gave me to you. That, you and me, was some kind of...fate. It just...it makes sense, because I met you as soon as I broke up with someone I was with for over a year, so I could take the chance, take this job. We met, and in moments, I felt more for you than I ever did for him, or anyone else. Hell, that first night, you took me to Barney's, I felt so fucking compelled to tell you everything, every secret I have, things I haven't even told my own mother, and you just took it all in. You held my hand, let me cry, let me get angry, and never, once, made me feel like shit about any of it. Three weeks later, I moved in with you. Seven months in and I adopted your kids. _Our_ kids. I love you...so fucking completely...how can a love like that not be a gift from God?" She exhaled and looked at him again. "And I am never leaving you. Ever."

"Stop the car," he demanded, and as soon as she pulled over and parked, he snapped. He leaned over and kissed her, hard, sloppy, wet, passionate, as he moaned her name over and over and told her how much he loved her.

"Baby," she breathed, tugging his hands away from her face and sniffling, laughing through happy love-induced tears. "El, we need to...calm down…" she panted.

He nodded, kissing her one last time, and wiped his own eyes. "Glad we cleared that up," he chuckled, and he took a deep breath as he settled back into his seat and rebuckled his seatbelt. "Who...uh...you said, before, we were pulled in by the vic's father?" He inhaled slowly as she pulled the car back out onto the road. "Who is he?"

She brushed her hair back and licked her lips, waiting a moment, knowing his reaction wouldn't be a good one. She darted her eyes toward him and said, "Lieutenant Waldman."

"Fuck," Elliot expelled, an one of his large hands ran down his face.

 **A/N: The victim is the daughter of someone in IAB? Uh-oh! That means the perp...is...who? And who fills the spot left by Cassidy?**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: "So what do you say to taking chances..."**

 **DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns the characters and base storyline, but narrative and dialogue belong to me, please and thank you.**

"Jack," Elliot sighed, running a hand down his face, "There's nothing I can say that will make this easier, except...we're gonna get the bastard."

"I know you are," Jack Waldman blinked and nodded, rubbing his eyes, "That's why I wanted you and Olivia on this. You two...you always get them." He let out a single, hard sob, and then cleared his throat. "What's going on in there? Shouldn't I be in there?"

"No, no, Liv...she's asking some questions that, uh, well...the answers are really hard for a father to hear." He rested a hand on Waldman's shoulder and shook his head. "Trust me, your daughter is in good hands. The, uh, the best, actually."

Waldman nodded again, trying to smile. "Ever since her mother died, I tried...maybe a little too hard...to keep her safe. I was overbearing, I know that, and I...I kept her on a short leash, maybe if I gave her a little more freedom, she wouldn't have snuck out to that party, she wouldn't have…"

"This isn't your fault," Elliot assured. "And she's a teenager, man, they're gonna fight you on everything, no matter how strict or lenient you are."

Jack chuckled. "Yeah, I guess...you're right. I just...she's my baby girl. And I couldn't...I should have…"

His crying professions were interrupted when Olivia came out into the hallway. "She, uh, she's asking for you, Lieutenant." She tried to smile at Waldman. "She wants her daddy," she offered with more warmth.

"Oh, thank you," Waldman sniffled, rubbing his eyes again so his daughter wouldn't know he'd been crying. "Both of you, really. Thank you."

Olivia nodded at him as he moved past her into his daughter's room, and then she stepped up to Elliot. "That was...hard to listen to," she breathed, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes.

"What happened to her?" Elliot asked, stunned, knowing that an interview rarely got to Olivia so quickly and deeply.

"Son of a bitch tied her up, strapped her down…" she took a breath. "She said she remembers him making her drink something, and then she couldn't move. She was awake, El, she felt...everything...but she couldn't move! She couldn't speak, or blink, she was…"

"Drugged," Elliot gathered, licking her lips. "We should tell Rodgers to run a full tox…"

"It's not Rodgers," she interrupted. "It's still the day…"

"Right, uh, Warner, was it?" Elliot took a breath. "She say anything that will help us ID the prick?"

Olivia bit her lip. "Scar under his left eye, tattoo of a snake on his arm, and, uh, she said he smelled like pine trees and bacon."

Elliot scoffed. "That's an interesting combination," he said with a furrowed brow. "So, what, we're looking for a lumberjack?"

"It's something to go on," she shrugged, and she pulled his sleeve as she walked down the hall, leading him toward the nurse's station. "You don't think…" she started. "She wasn't raped until she was almost home, guy leapt out of an alley and attacked her a block away from home. You think he could've been waiting for her?"

"You think she was targeted?" Elliot asked, raising one eyebrow, high. "You think this guy...knew she was Waldman's kid?"

Licking her lips, she gave a pensive wag of her head. "This was planned," she told him. "He had rope, tape, whatever he used on her...this wasn't a crime of opportunity, it wasn't…"

"Right, uh, it does seem kind of...premeditated." He exhaled. "He had the room at the hotel already booked and ready, close to her place, obviously prepared for what he was gonna do." He took another breath. "We should look into any open investigations, see if this could be a uni with a grudge, or a badge who thinks he's got nothing left to lose." He leaned up against the desk and pulled out his cell phone. "I'll call Ed, see what he can tell us, you, uh, talk to her." He pointed to the nurse bringing the bagged and sealed evidence over to them, making their case officially open and active.

They dropped the rape kit and all of their victim's personal effects off at the lab on their way back to the station, not saying much at all to each other. When they walked through the doors, they were met with questions from every uniformed officer and suited detective.

 _"Is it true?" "Is it her?" "Is she alive?" "How's Waldman handling it?" "Was it a cop?" "Do you need help?" "What can we do?"_ and one loud, bellowed offer of, _"Kill the bastard, when you find him, huh?"_

They ignored most of them, shouted synchronized "yes"s or "no"s to some of them, and one big thumbs up to the man who suggested a violent means to the end for the man they hadn't even begun to hunt down quite yet. They took the stairs, eager to get out of the crowded and loud hallway as fast as possible, and once they pushed through the landing door for their floor, they took hard, deep breaths. "Jesus," Olivia hissed, inhaling again.

"Man, we really band together when it's one of our own, don't we?" Elliot wiped his forehead and shook tension out of his shoulders. He tilted his head. "You look...absolutely beautiful right now."

She turned her head toward him and grinned, but then blew him a kiss and walked toward the squadroom doors. "It's too quiet in here," she noted, confused. "Why is it so…" she paused, turning the bend and heading into the bullpen. "Who are you?" she pointed to a dark-skinned woman sitting in Cassidy's empty desk.

"Oh, uh," she said, standing, clearing her throat. "Doctor Audrey Jackson," she stated with a forced smile and held out hand. She pressed her lips together and moved her hand back slowly when she realized neither detective was going to shake it. "I'm here for…"

"Tucker was serious?" Elliot snapped, pulling roughly on the hem of his jacket. "Psych evals? Now?"

Cragen nodded as he exhaled, slowly. "I can't fill Cassidy's spot unless One-P-P is satisfied the rest of you aren't fucking nuts, too." He looked at Elliot with downturned eyes. "Twice a year, every department, we're just the…"

"Guinea pigs," Elliot barked, shaking his head. "Whatever. Who's first? Because me and Liv have to…"

"I am," Cragen noted with a short nod. "You two, get to work. We'll be in the back."

Olivia watched him go toward an interview room with the doctor at his heels, and she felt Elliot's heated body behind her.

"You believe this shit?" he fumed, his arms crossed.

She smirked as she turned to look at him. "Some of us may need it," she shrugged.

"Jeffries isn't even here," he chuckled, and then he sat on the corner of his desk and let his eyes follow her toward her chair. "Hey, uh, listen. Something's been...not bugging me, but...on my mind, for a while. Before we dive into finding the hump who hurt Lydia, can you, uh, answer a question for me?"

"No, I will not follow you into the storage closet to…"

He laughed, throwing his head back a bit. "No, honey, no, uh," he breathed and looked at her. "You keep telling Kevin I'm getting married. Why?"

"You are," she said, as if it was common knowledge, a firm answer.

He tilted his head. "When?"

"Whenever you want," she answered, just as seriously. "All you have to do is ask, and give me time to get a dress." She leaned back. "Why, uh, does it bother you that I…"

"God, no, it's the truth, but I just…" he shrugged. "Wasn't sure if you were serious, or just trying to keep him from hitting on me. Because that would be very...bad...for all of us." He made a face at her and winked.

She smiled back at him. "Both," she sighed. "I'm serious, El, very serious, and I'm trying to save Kevin's dignity and your reputation as a nice guy." She shot him a grinning glare and then looked down at the black forms on her desk. "We should get this started," she said, wincing slightly. "This one's gonna hurt."

He looked from her to the clock above the door, smiled, and then said, "In two hours, we'll be home with the kids, putting this fucking long-ass day behind us, and hopefully getting to spend some time with them before they zonk out for the night."

She hummed at him as she filled in the forms, entering the case information and starting the evidence log. "We promised them waffles, we need to stop at the store on the way home and get eggs and…" she paused to cough. "What is that smell?" she asked, popping her head up and making a face, and then she coughed again.

Sniffing, Elliot grimaced and waved a hand in front of his face. "What the fuck is that?"

"My fault," Munch said, strolling into the room. "I had to take a field trip into one of New York's finest...dumpsters." He walked by them and over to his desk, pulling open a drawer. He grabbed a small can of spray deodorant and a toothbrush, and then said, "I'll be back in twenty, I need a shower."

"You need to burn that suit!" Elliot spat after him as he left the way he had come, gagging. "Christ, that was nasty."

Olivia made a scrunched up face as she went back to writing. "God, I'm glad it wasn't us," she laughed, taking a breath now that the smell was fading. "Did you get through to Tucker? What did he say about…"

"He's coming down here," Elliot told her. "He's bringing a couple of files that may help. Names of people Waldman pissed off enough to...do this." He blinked. "How long you think it would take you to find a dress?"

Popping her head up again, she looked right at him, her eyes wide. "What?"

"Just...say I ask, I dunno, tomorrow," he shrugged. "How long would it take you to get a dress?"

She shook her head. "You...you're not...you can't be serious, right now." She saw no trace of humor or hint at anything but sincerity in his eyes. "Not...not long. I'm not picky."

He smiled as he got up and moved, taking a seat in his chair. "All I needed to know," he said with a chuckle, and he began to process what he would have to do, if it merited telling Cragen, or if there was some way they could do what needed to be done without saying anything to him at all. "We, uh, we could hide it, right?" he asked her softly, looking across his desk into her surprised brown eyes.

"Well, maybe if we…" she cleared her throat. "If we wait for the dress and the cake, if we just...sign a piece of paper. I mean, I adopted your kids pretty quietly." She shrugged. "If we just want to be...married...it would be easy to…"

"So then there's no rush on the dress," he interrupted, "You can take your time, get what you really want, because I know that you're fucking picky as shit." He laughed and then sighed. "Relax, I'm not...I'm not asking you now, I won't even ask you tomorrow. You'll be surprised, and you'll say yes, and then we'll just...do it."

"Do what?" Jeffries voice spoke as she and Kevin walked into the squadroom. She tossed her jacket over the back of her chair and moved back toward the coffee pot.

"Nothing," Elliot said, and then he eyed Kevin. "Cassidy all right?"

Kevin wagged his head back and forth with a crooked frown. "He'll live," he said. "He's not sorry, said he did what he had to do, it was a choice, he knows he's gotta pay the price, and he will do it, uh, federally." He nodded. "Everything okay on your end? Heard it was a cop's kid. That's gotta fucking suck for you guys."

Olivia looked at him after filling in the last info panel she could. "You ever have to do this? Investigate when it hits home like this?"

"Once," Kevin told her. "We had a drug ring in DC, PCP laced with Ex and a few other party drugs, made people go ape-shit and start eating each other's faces off, and, uh, one of the pushers was one of our agents' nephews. That...that was hard, but we did our jobs, ya know? We don't get to…"

"Pick the vic," Olivia finished solemnly.

"Or the perp," Elliot said, his lips curled into a sneer, still angry at Cassidy's betrayal. He looked back up at the clock and let out a slow, deep breath, hoping the next hour and forty-six minutes would go by faster, needing, more than anything, to see his kids. He glanced at Olivia and smiled. Correction, he thought. He needed to be with his _wife_ and kids. It wouldn't be easy, but it was a chance he was eager and more than willing to take.

 **A/N: Psych evaluations, with some interesting answers and revelations, next.**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: "What do you say to jumping off the edge..."**

 **DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns the characters and base storyline, but narrative and dialogue belong to me, please and thank you.**

"This last case," Doctor Jackson clicked the pen in her hand and shifted her weight in her chair, staring at the young woman across from her, "It got to you, didn't it?"

"Got to me, how?" Olivia asked in return. "They all get to me, to an extent, but never in a way I can't handle, that affects my objectivity or the way I do my…"

"The daughter of a friend," Jackson interrupted. "A colleague. You think you and your partner...made things personal?"

Olivia tried to stop the smirk from spreading by licking her lips. "I haven't been around long enough to consider Waldman a friend, but it's always slightly more personal when it's one of ours. No, to answer your question. We didn't treat this case any differently, or with any more or less professionalism than we would have if…"

"So," Jackson cut in again, "You always nab the bad guy so quickly? Get the confession and shut…"

"Yes." It was Olivia's turn to interrupt, and it came with a firmness that didn't surprise her. She smiled. "Doctor Jackson, you didn't look at our files before dragging us in here, did you?"

"Personal," the doctor nodded. "Not professional, though. Should I have?"

"You'd already know that Elliot and I...get the job done." Olivia's smile faded and a seriousness seeped into her features. "Better than anyone this unit's ever seen, and that's not conceit, okay? That's a fact, right from our captain, so don't read into it and try to make it seem like I have some sort of ego problem." She folded her arms and leaned back in the chair.

Jackson grinned. "No, that's your partner, isn't it? The egomaniac?"

"He has a right," Olivia shrugged smugly. "Keep digging."

"That's my job," Jackson told her with a small uphanded gesture. "You two seem to defend each other an awful lot. You have gone to some pretty major extremes to keep each other safe, out of trouble, out of danger. There a reason for that?"

Olivia looked at Jackson as if she had four heads and green teeth. "He's my partner. That's literally the job description."

Jackson laughed. "Not this intensely," she said. "I've been comparing notes, here, so to speak, and, uh...I know there are details left out of these files, and I know the reasons, but...be honest with me. If he wasn't your partner, would you be as good at what you do?"

"I used to think so," Olivia nodded. "I used to think I would be the best in the field, no matter what, but...with Elliot, the way we work...we just...click. We communicate well, we are so in sync, and we play off of each other in all the best ways. He knows me, he reads me. He's...I trust him, with my life. And I know that I'm right to. We would kill for each other, die for each other, and I don't deny that." She gave a tilt of her head and a one-shoulder shrug, "Maybe I should have, given what this little chit-chat is about. I'll never have a partner I work as well with, and I hope to God I will never have to find out."

Jackson mumbled something under her breath and wrote something down, and then shot her eyes up. "Tell me about your mother."

"I'd rather tell you about the first time I…" she watched Jackson's eyes narrow, then she sighed, conceding. "She has problems, you said you read my file."

"Tell me what isn't in it," Jackson prodded. "I know the facts, the cold ones, but I need to know if what happened to her...and as a result, what happened to you...affects your job."

Olivia took a breath, exhaled slowly, and uncrossed her arms. Her damp palms slid over her knees, drying them on her pants. "I became a cop...volunteered for this unit...because of what happened to her. It drives me, pushes me, every single day. Do I think every perp that comes along is the son of a bitch that raped her? No. Do I hold onto some hope that I'm gonna be the one that finds him? Hell yes. But it doesn't impact how I work, not in the way you think it does."

Jackson scribbled something on her notepad and hummed. "And...tell me about your relationship with her, now."

Olivia scoffed. "She tolerates me," she chuckled. "When...when she's sober, things are wonderful. We...we spent the morning together and she was...normal. Nice." She licked her lips. "We were supposed to have more time, but you called us in for this...witch hunt," she scoffed again and rolled her eyes, but then softened as she remembered how Serena taught Maureen and Kathleen how to play "Cat's Cradle," and how she cut up Lizzie and Dickie's pancakes for them. She smiled and said, "She was my mom, today. She was...a grandmother, something she never thought…" she cleared her throat.

Jackson saw the shimmer in Olivia's eyes sparkle and then fade. "What happened?"

"A few minutes before you called," Olivia started, "She ordered a mimosa. She swore to me..promised she wouldn't…" she shrugged and let out a huff. "I didn't even think the place served alcohol, but leave it to my mother to figure it out. I was just about to fight her on it when...you called me." She bit her lip. "I'd never been more thankful for this bullshit than I was at that moment. My kids kissed her goodbye, so did I." She scraped her teeth over her lip and shrugged again. "For all I know, she's on her third or fourth drink, remembering that night, seeing his face, plotting ways to kill me in my sleep, and my kids are home with their sitter coloring, oblivious to it all."

Jackson closed her eyes, swallowed hard, and then wrote something else in her notes. "Speaking of your kids, tell me about them. About...their father." She looked up just as a glazed look fell over Olivia's face and the sparkle returned to her eyes. She let herself smile and lean forward slightly.

"They're my world," Olivia whispered, smiling. "Thanks for the discretion, by the way," she laughed lightly. "I love him with everything I have, so deeply, and those little angels...my angels…" she sniffled, unaware tears had even started to fall, "I'm going to be everything for them that I only wish my mother was for me. I will never let them down, ever. They know that. I make sure they know that. I am...a better cop, a better woman, because of them and their father. They give me something to fight for, a reason to make sure I go home every night, and I am so much better at my job because they drive me to make this city safer...for them."

Jackson cleared her throat and blinked her eyes rapidly, not letting herself let the emotions take hold. She scrawled something down on her pad and let out a heavy breath. "What would you…" she cleared her throat again as she looked up at Olivia. "What would you do if you couldn't be a cop anymore?"

Olivia froze, her head tilted, and she narrowed her eyes as more tears welled up and fell. "Well," she breathed, sniffled, folded her hands, and said, "I'd...I'd…" she bit her lip and shook her head. "I have no idea. I would stay home with my kids until I figured it out, I guess, but...this is...this is what I am meant to be, it's who I am, and other than Detective Benson...the only other thing I know I am, is their mother." She shrugged. "So that's it? I'm done?"

Jackson nodded. "And that last question…" she looked into Olivia's eyes. "I have to ask everyone, Detective Benson. I wasn't implying that…" she looked down at her notes, flipped through a file in her hands, and then said, "I don't think you'll have to worry."

Olivia nodded once as she rose from her seat and walked out of the room, shuffling and plopping into her chair at her desk. "She throw a curveball at you, too? Or was she just blindsiding me, in there?"

Elliot laughed, handing her a cup of coffee, and ran his hands down the front of his grey sweatshirt. "Eh," he shrugged. "Wasn't horrible. She, uh, asked about you. Us. The kids." He looked down at a spot on the floor and kicked his sneakered foot against it. "She asked me about my father."

"Yeah," she breathed. "She brought up my mother." She sighed and rubbed her eyes. "She brought up the kids, asked if being a mother...having the mother I had...affected my job." She looked over at him. "I was honest."

"So was I," he said, and he reached over and grabbed her coffee, bringing it to his lips. He sipped and then held it out to her, watching with a smile as she took a long gulp herself. "Though, uh...maybe I was too honest."

"Is that even a thing?" she asked, smirking at him. "How could you have been too honest?"

Elliot bit his lip, looked at the darkened hallway leading to the interview room, and he scratched a spot behind his ear. "She asked...who kept me going, besides the kids. I told her...I told her my wife did."

Her face fell, she went white, and she stammered out a mumbled reply.

"I know," he sighed, holding up both hands, "We just got the license today, but...I mean, it just...came out. She didn't press me for anything, I think she just...I mean, she has our files, it's obvious that it's…" he reached a little further for her, indicating, as his voice dropped. "I don't think she's gonna tell Cragen anything, it's not affecting our work, and it's not...it's obviously not a problem."

"She said…" she started, looking up at him as she sipped her coffee, "She said I probably didn't have anything to worry about, so I don't...I don't think you do, either."

"No," a voice behind them said, and then a throat cleared. "Neither of you are...in danger, here."

They both turned, looking right at Cragen.

Cragen eyed them for a moment, and then he stepped forward. "Have either of you seen Jeffries?" He looked pointedly at Elliot.

"No!" he snapped. "Don't look at me like that, I don't know what the hell she does outside of work."

Cragen nodded, closing his eyes. "Sorry, I just...I feel so helpless, here. That doctor in there is making us all crazy, isn't she?"

"I think we're okay," Elliot said, and then he shot a small smile at Olivia. "We're perfect, actually."

"Maybe you are," Cragen said, heaving another sigh. "Munch needs to see her again, and no one can get a hold of Jeffries, who might need this the most. I just…"

"Excuse me." Ed Tucker walked into the room, grinning, and he held out his hand to Elliot. "IO wanted to be the first to congratulate you, Stabler. Judge Mathers told me…"

"What, um, what did he tell you?" Elliot asked hurriedly, before Tucker could let anything slip. His eyes darted pleadingly to Cragen, the to Olivia, and then back to Tucker.

Taking the hint, Tucker cleared his throat. "Um, you know, the, uh…"

"Engagement?" Cragen questioned. "Yeah, Jackson mentioned something about that." He looked at Elliot. "You don't think it's too soon after Kathy? Did you tell that doctor you've only been divorced for…"

"The divorce never came up," Elliot said fast. "Cap, you're not upset about…"

"You gotta bring her down here," Cragen said, and then pointed to Olivia. "She has to make nice with your partner, this time, or it's not gonna work." He checked his watch, cursed under his breath, and ran into his office mumbling something about Jeffries.

They all watched him go, and then Elliot said, "Well, he knows I'm getting married."

Olivia leaned back in her chair with crossed arms. "He just doesn't know it's to me."

"And it'd better fucking stay that way," Elliot spat, glaring at Tucker.

"My lips are sealed," Tucker promised. "I need you both in court Monday, you know that, don't you?"

"Yeah," Elliot nodded, "We got it on the calendar. And, so you know, we're ready."

"Good," Tucker grinned. He smoothed out his tie and headed for Cragen's office. "Why don't you two go home, you were supposed to have the day off, right?"

Olivia and Elliot shared a concerned look and then slowly rose, knowing if they didn't leave now, they'd be witness to some heavy fireworks. He grabbed her hand and guided her toward the door, running into a frantic looking Jeffries on the way out. "Watch it," he hissed, dodging her body as it headed for his again.

"Sorry," Jeffries chuckled, her rumpled clothes and mussed hair apparently of no concern to her.

"You know...that's the same outfit you were wearing yesterday," Olivia noticed, gripping Elliot's hand even tighter.

Jeffries laughed as she dropped into her chair. "I didn't go home," she shrugged. "Spent the night with Doran, we, uh, had a little trouble getting out of bed. I couldn't find my phone, or I would have…"

"Doran," Elliot said in an accusatory tone. "The bastard we brought in on a DV last night?"

Jeffries narrowed her eyes. "He didn't do it, we got the guy," she defended.

"That's not the point!" Elliot yelled, stunned, "He was still a suspect! A person of…"

"Hey!" Jeffries barked back. "Unless you want to be the guy in my bed, stay the fuck out of it!"

Elliot gave a disgusted scoff. "In your dreams," he spoke, and he turned and pulled roughly on Olivia's hand, leading her out of the squadroom. They headed down the hall and were almost to the elevator, when Elliot's phone rang. He punched the call button as he fished the phone out of his pocket. "Stabler," he spat, confused. "Um, no, I...yes, she is, but...we'll be right there! Thank you!"

"What was that?" she asked him with upturned eyes.

He yanked her away from the elevator, toward the stairs, leading her down them fast and furiously. He pushed the side door open and took a breath as he ran with her toward their car.

"One of the kids?" she asked, worried, and she saw him shake his head. "Then what are we…"

He turned sharply and held her gaze as he tried to breathe. "Your mother."

 **A/N: Oh no.**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: "Never knowing if there's solid ground below..."**

 **DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns the characters and base storyline, but narrative and dialogue belong to me, please and thank you.**

"No," Olivia barely whispered, her head turned away from the officer who had asked the question. "But thank you. I appreciate it."

"It's your call," the young, uniformed man said, holding out his hands, one of which was gripping his hat. "The offer stands, until we have to either process…"

"Book her," Olivia nodded, biting her lip. "Maybe a few days here will be the wake up call I thought my kids were gonna be." She winced when she felt Elliot's strong hands on her shoulders, working down her arms.

"You sure that's what you think she needs?" he whispered to her. "She was great, this morning. I think seeing us...her knowing she missed out on a good chunk of our life, and her thinking it was a lot longer...she drank out of guilt, maybe what she needs is more time with…"

"I'm not letting her in the house," she interrupted. "Not like this. They said the charge was minor, forty-eight hours in lock-up, maybe if I don't come to her rescue this time it'll…"

"Olivia?" Serena's voice called to her.

She turned and the moment her eyes met her mother's, her resolve to let her deal with the consequences began to shake. "Mom," she breathed, walking over. She ran a hand over Serena's cuffed wrists, sighing. "You promised me that you weren't…"

"When did I lose you?" Serena asked, her voice weak, her eyes pained. "Why didn't you tell me that you...I've missed out on the chance to be there for you, the family you've built, the life that...doesn't seem to include me." She saw her daughter's eyes widening. "I know why, please...don't think I'm asking why. I just want to know when. We've had struggles, but I always thought...hoped that I would…"

"You need help, Mom," Olivia broke in softly. She turned her head and nodded at one of the officers beside her mother, telling him to take off the cuffs. As soon as the silver fell away, she clutched both of her mother's hands. "Real help. My boss, he...he told me he could get you into a program that would…"

"I've tried AA, Olivia," Serena scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Mom, no, this is...a program for vic...survivors. Women who have been assulted...wo have been...raped. Mom, please, because that's why you drink. You never got to process and heal, because of me, so maybe now it's time that you let yourself do it."

A tear rolled down Serena's cheek, the words coming out of her daughter's mouth making panic and bile rise. "No," she refused on a shaky breath, her head furiously waving. "I can't relive it, you can't ask me to…"

"There will be other women there, some older than you, some younger," Olivia continued, her grip on her mother's hands getting tighter, her eyes boring deeper into her mom's. "You won't be alone, it isn't the kind of therapy you think it is, and, Mom, some of the women there...they can help you deal with all of this, find an outlet that doesn't come in a bottle."

Serena blinked away more tears, and then took a breath. "I have been so horrible to you," she admitted. "Our past, it isn't pretty. At a time when I should have been watching you thrive and encouraging and supportive, I was...so angry, so…" she took another breath, her legs wobbling as her chest rattled with the stifled sobs. "I hurt you, so...so…" she sniffled, her voice cracking, and fell into Olivia, her arms falling around her like a loose belt. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. For everything. All of it. I was cruel and violent, and I…"

"Shh," Olivia soothed, her hands on her mother's back, her own leaking eyes closed tightly. "Like you said, it's the past. We're...we're gonna be okay. All of us." She sniffled again, and as she felt her mother nod against her shoulder, she turned her red eyes toward Elliot. "Baby," she whispered to him, "Call Ed."

He nodded with a sad smile, dismissed the uniformed officers in the small waiting area, and pulled out his cell phone to make a phone call Olivia swore she would never let him make. "Hey, am I interrupting...no, no, fine, we just...it's her mother. If that offer still stands, we would really…" he smiled, looked over at Olivia, now calmly talking to her calmed mother, and said, "We're at the Two-Nine, patrol unit's holding...yeah, it was. Hey, Ed? Thank you. For everything." He hung up and leaned against the wall, folded his arms, and watched as, for the first time in a while, Olivia and her mother really talked.

An hour and a half later, Serena had been signed into an inpatient recovery and support center, one normally reserved for the NYPD's own, but special arrangements had been made for her, and she didn't need to know it. Elliot and Olivia were on their couch, the kids spattered on different parts of the rug, as a sappy, animated movie played on the television, filling the otherwise dark room with flickering, multicolored light.

She was curled so deeply into him, it seemed as if she was trying to wind herself around him like a boa constrictor. He didn't mind, and had the grin on his face to prove it. He bent his head and kissed her softly, smiling when he pulled away. "You okay?"

She nodded, a calm expression on her face. "Exhausted," she whispered, "It's been an...emotional day."

"Understatement, baby," he said with a short puff. "Other than that? You okay, with everything?"

"Yeah," she said, nodding again. "Mom...I think she's in a good place, and Tucker was...great with her, and with us." After pressing her lips to his again, she moaned so softly she wasn't sure it was audible at all. "And we are one step closer to being legally married. You won't be able to get rid of me, you'll have to deal with me...and my mother...for the rest of your life. Sure you wanna do that?"

He grinned at her. "You moved into my house and legally adopted my kids, what do you think?"

Her smile faded, their whispered conversation taking a more serious turn. "Cragen was right," she told him. "Maybe this did happen too fast, maybe you needed more time to…"

"If I needed more time, I wouldn't have fallen in love with you as fast, as hard, and as fully as I did." He licked his lips and looked over to the far side of the room. "Hey, Jules, could you watch them? Liv has a migraine, I'm gonna take her into the bedroom, the light from the TV...the noise...it's too much out here."

"Sure thing, Mister S," Julie said with a smile, rising off of the chair to lay on the floor with the kids. She faked interest in the move to entertain the twins, barely hearing the creak of the bedroom door as Elliot pulled Olivia through it.

When he closed it again, Olivia turned to him, confused. "I don't have a…"

His lips slammed into hers, his body rushing into her with enough force to send both of them falling onto the mattress. "Every part of you," he told her as his lips left small kisses along her neck. His fingers tugged at the fabric of her shirt, peeling it away from her body, as he said, "Every scar...the small, thin line on your neck, the wide V-shaped one on your thigh…" he paused, pulling on her cotton shirt hard and tossing it over his head, "The two round starbursts on your shoulder, the small nics on your arm…" He kissed her again, his hands working the clasp and zip of her pants apart. "Every freckle, because, baby, you have freckles...every beauty mark, birthmark...I have them all fucking memorized."

She gasped, feeling one of his hands slide under the silk of her panties, slipping between her rapidly slickening folds. "Elliot," she whispered.

"I could not only describe you fucking accurately as shit to a sketch artist, but I could probably draw your face myself, with my eyes closed, with my left hand," he breathed, two fingers running up and down her slit, teasing her. "I know your body so well, every muscle, every fucking place to touch you to drive you fucking crazy," he chuckled. He proved it by sliding one finger into her and bending it, making her back arch, her head burrow into the pillow beneath her, and he grunted in proud satisfaction. "Never, ever, let me here you tell me you think we moved too fast, again, because, baby, I have been waiting for you my whole life, and the second we met...I wanted to fucking marry you."

Coming down from her stunningly quick high, she nodded at him, and raised her hips to let him pull her pants down and off. She watched, licking her lips, as he pulled the sweatshirt over his head and made quick work of discarding his jeans.

He smirked wickedly,staring down at her, and he crooked a finger at her, beckoning her to him.

She sat up and then rose onto her knees, her eyes on his, and her lips curling into a smile that rivaled the one on his face. "What?" she questioned, tilting her head.

No words left him as he wrapped one arm around her and skillfully unhooked her bra with two of his fingers, and he moaned appreciatively when she worked her way out of it on her own and threw it off to the side, not caring where it landed. He moved again, then, his large hands gripping the side of her face as he kissed her powerfully, bending forward and leading her back down to the bed and stationing himself between her legs. "Quiet," he warned, "They're all awake out there."

She whispered his name as she closed her eyes, tossing her head back, her body arcing as he pushed into her slowly.

A low, long groan escaped as he inched his way into her, his body trembling with the desire to move faster and harder, every ounce of self-control he had being utilized to keep things slow and deep. "Baby," he breathed, dropping his head to hers as soon as he was buried in her completely. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation, answering the question he had asked a hundred times, her right hand dragging up his back slowly, deliberately making him shiver with the cold metal of the garnet and sapphire ring he'd given her the first time the question was voiced. "God, yes," she moaned quietly. Answering him a second time, and reacting to his body finally thrusting slowly.

They kept their eyes open, staring into each other's souls as their bodies met and melded, her nails scratching at his skin as his gripped the mattress and her hips. Whispered professions of love and devotion passed between heavy breaths and gasped prayers, their world solidifying itself into the truth of what it now was, what it would become in a week.

"I love you," she whispered against his lips as they kissed hers.

He grunted, rocking his hips a bit faster. "I love you, baby. God, so much. So fucking much." He slammed into her harder, deeper, taking time to settle and let her grip him before pulling back out and doing it again. "Mine," he whispered, kissing her again.

"Yours," she breathed back, "And you're mine."

"Damn right," he chuckled, and he moved faster in harder, shorter strokes, feeling his body begin to burn and muscles begin to tighten. He grumbled out a curse and a cry of her name as she tightened around him, making moving through the clench a challenge. He managed to thrust a few more times before she let out a high-pitched squeak. He moved fast, dropping his head and kissing her again, in time to catch the loud roar as she came.

He moved a bit as he began to feel himself cumming, and he grunted as she bit down on his shoulder, sending him over the edge, his tensing body and pulsing cock triggering another fiery orgasm for her.

She fell limply onto the mattress, her arms falling away from him, spent, and he used the remains of his strength to roll them over and pull her on top of him. "Jesus," he panted, his eyes wide and staring, stunned, at a spot on the ceiling. "Fucking incredible, always."

She laughed and nodded into his chest, kissing it as it heaved, his heart hammering against her lips as she did. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too, baby," he breathed, raking his fingers through her hair slowly. There was a moment of silence, breathing each other in and softly kissing until the stars before their eyes faded and floated away. "I didn't want to bring this up before," he spoke after a resigned sigh, "But I know we're probably getting called in tonight, for one reason or another, and I don't want you to freak out when we get to the…"

"Just tell me," she rolled her eyes and dropped her head to his chest, their calming bodies synchronizing their rise and fall.

He went back to playing with her hair as it splayed over the side of his body. "Doctor Jackson made her final recommendations to Cragen," he told her, "After she talked to Jeffries."

"Tucker tell you that?" she asked.

He gave an affirmative hum and then said, "She, uh, she said something pretty serious about us."

She popped up, ignoring the slight pain of pulled hair as she yanked it out of his twisting fingers. "God, he's splitting us up, isn't he? She told him that we…"

"She told him that if he does that, he'd lose us," he interrupted, an easy smile on his face. He lifted his hands and cupped her face, his thumbs caressing her cheeks. "She told him that we're, without a doubt, the best he's got, but we're attached to each other, and it's why we work as well as we do."

She sighed, relieved, but raised one eyebrow. "Why would I freak out, then?"

"Jeffries…" he looked into Olivia's eyes. "Something about erratic, unstable, self-destructive behavior. One more week, just to close out her open cases, then they're putting her on a desk until she…" he tried to remember exactly what Tucker had told him. "She needs some sort of treatment, I don't know, but they don't trust her out in the field."

"Great," she scoffed. "Now we're really gonna be pulling overtime." Her head dropped back to his chest, but her eyes drifted up toward his when she heard him refute her words. "What do you mean, no?"

"Cragen hired someone else," he told her. "He starts tomorrow. That's why I brought this up. You won't be the newbie anymore." He kissed the crown of her head and heard her laugh, and then closed his eyes, hoping to get a few moments of rest before getting her up and heading back out to his kids.

He didn't know just how brief those restful moments would be.

 **A/N: Why…? And what is happening in a week? What kind of treatment does Jeffries need? Hmm.**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: "Or a hand to hold..."**

 **DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns the characters and base storyline, but narrative and dialogue belong to me, please and thank you.**

"You two up to this?" Tucker asked, tilting his head and folding his arms. He bit his lip, something behind the young detectives' eyes he didn't like. Part of him felt guilty for waking them up in the middle of the night for yet another case that was out of their wheelhouse, but the rest of him screamed with the certainty that they were the only team that would handle it right.

Yawning, Elliot nodded, but when he glanced to his left, toward Olivia, he wondered if he'd lied. He noticed the way the blue pullover sweater wrinkled on her waist, the white tee under it visible from all angles. He smiled a bit at the mussed waves in her dark, shoulder-length hair, remembering how he'd run his fingers through it after she brushed it and kissed her until it was too late for her to recomb. He watched her yawn, falling in love with the way her back arched slightly as she did and the crook of her lips as she tried to stifle it. He scratched at the nape of his neck and shook away the thoughts of her, letting his own tiredness seep into truth. "Guess so," he mumbled, shrugging, "Just keep these coming." He raised and tilted his near-empty coffee cup and yawned again.

Olivia rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands, shaking her head. "Wouldn't be so bad if we didn't…" she yawned, her hand covering her mouth and her eyes still closed. "Only get maybe fifteen minutes of actual sleep." She blinked quickly, rolling her neck and shoulders as she let her eyes trail up and down his jean-clad body, thick thighs and perfect ass, up to his blue sweater, one that was only half a shade darker than her own, faded to match his eyes. "Just had to go in for round two, after the kids went to bed, didn't you?"

He smirked at her, leaned closer, and lowered his voice. "Hell, yes. And it was so fucking worth it, wasn't it?" He winked, watching her roll her eyes and smile slightly. He licked his lips and squinted a bit, remembering how they'd curled up together after a particularly intense round of sex. He'd fallen asleep to the rhythm of her heart beating slowly against his, his hands tangled in her hair, thinking of the many times they'd fallen asleep the same way, and how he could and would do it every night for the rest of his life.

"Get that look off your face," she snapped, slapping him in the arm with the back of her hand. "We gotta get to work, and that...that face…"

"Too happy for this, huh?" he questioned softly, rubbing his stubble-specked chin. "Can't help it. You make me happy." He yawned again as she turned away laughing, and he followed her toward the yellow tape. He watched as she bent low to get under it, and chuckled as he rolled his eyes and lifted it up high to saunter beneath it with little effort. He took a sip of what was left of his coffee and dropped his eyes to the medical examiner. "What have we got?"

The new ME turned her head, her long, dark curls whipping around to reveal harshly glaring eyes. "A problem if you ever sound so casual around me in this kind of situation again," she warned.

Olivia rose both brows and gave a disbelieving scoff. "It's three in the morning, and that wasn't casual, that was professional exhaustion. Who is she, what happened, and how long as she been out here?" Her voice was without inflection other than an annoyed cadence that fell of the end of each word. "Better?"

Melinda Warner rolled her eyes and rose to her feet, nodding once in begrudging apology. "Nineteen year old female, no ID, liver temp puts time of death between ten and midnight, clothes are torn, there's injury that seems to indicate sexual assault, but no fluids or biologicals." She looked at Elliot, something flashing slightly in her eyes. "Did find splinters, though. I think your killer used something other than his own weapon, get me?"

"We've been doing this long enough," Elliot sighed. "You don't need to use innuendo, you got something to tell us, you just say it, okay? We aren't gonna cringe or run or…"

"You're Kathy's ex-husband, aren't you?" Warner interjected, folding her arms. "Elliot Stabler."

He nodded slowly, confused. "You know her?" he asked, his head dropping to one side as he caught sight of Olivia kneeling to examine their victim on her own. "How?"

"I used to run the morgue at Saint Joseph's, before I got this job," Warner said with a slight, proud lift of her chin. "She left a week before I did. For what it's worth, I'm sorry for the way…"

"Don't be," Elliot cut her off. "I'm not." He gave her a cocky expression and then moved fast to fall to Olivia's right, whispering about new details she'd discovered.

Warner, though, seemed unamused. "What do the two of you think you're doing?" she crossed her arms and huffed.

Olivia turned over her shoulder. "Our job," she intoned. "There's blood on her shirt, not hers, we'll need to get it to the lab and run it, could be the perp's. You also didn't mention the teeth marks on her shoulder and petechial hemorrhaging in her eyes, she was choked."

Taken aback and slightly annoyed, Melinda squinted. "I didn't think I needed to tell you…"

"Cause of death, defensive wounds, possible evidence of the bastard," Olivia said, standing, "And you didn't think we needed to know?" She shook her head and sighed. "We need to everything, okay? Whatever you find, as soon as you find it. We aren't the kind of cops who just sit at the desk and read the report, if you find something that will help us nail the son of a bitch faster and bring closure to this girl's family, we need to know as soon as…"

"Got it," Warner said with a slow nod. "Sorry, I guess...I'm not used to this, yet. A month ago I was only the assistant ME working Rodger's leftovers. The homeless, gang violence, mob hits…no one was ever interested in the details, there was only so much..."

"Well, Doc," Elliot hit into the conversation, "Welcome to Special Victims, we need the details, because this girl obviously wasn't homeless, we need to find her family, who are all probably worried out of their minds, and tell them that their little girl…"

Warner held up a hand and nodded. "I understand," she said. "Next time, straight, cold facts. Got it."

Olivia softened her look and held out a hand. "Thank you," she said, attempting a smile. "For, ya know, taking this on. Rodgers had her hands full, and this city doesn't exactly budget out for..."

"Thank me by finding the asshold who killed that girl," Warner said, returning the small smile. She nodded at Elliot once and turned, walking toward her assistants and supervising them as they bagged the victim's body.

Elliot yawned and shook his head, peering down with a pout at his empty foam cup. "She used to work with Kathy," he said.

"I heard," she replied, shoving her hands in her pockets. "I also saw the way she looked at you, I think she wants to fill Kathy's empty side of the bed."

"It's already been filled," Elliot chuckled. "Well, hypothetically, I have no clue where the bed she slept in is, you know we bought a new one when you…"

Tucker's cold voice interrupted their small moment of respite. "I know I'm asking a lot, here, and I'm…"

"You're not," Elliot held up a hand and shook his head. "We told you, we owe you. Think of this as…"

"You two don't owe me anything," Tucker said, looking first into Elliot's eyes and then into Olivia's. "Trust me, this isn't me calling in favors because I can hold shit over your head. I'm not...not that kind of…I'm not that hardassed."

"Well, not yet, anyway," Olivia joked, smiling at the man. "Why couldn't the Three-Two handle this?"

Elliot nodded, taking Olivia's coffee cup out of her hand. He ignored the protesting glare she was giving him, and smirked as he drank it. "Why is IAB involved in this shit again?"

Yanking her coffee back from him, Olivia narrowed her eyes at Elliot before sipping her own coffee and turning toward Tucker. After she swallowed, she asked, "She the daughter of another…"

"Sister," Tucker blinked, interrupting. "We got a hit off her prints, one of the Leo's here had the handheld AFIS. And, yes, the local unit could have handled things just fine, if...well, this is your case, and Benson, you might want to give your pal Kevin a call." Tucker looked at her pointedly, hoping she'd know, that he wouldn't have to say it.

"Oh, my God," Olivia's eyes widened in realization. "Does he know? Does he know they got his sister?"

Elliot narrowed his own eyes and shot her a look. "Who, Kevin? That's Kevin's sister?"

"No, El," Olivia breathed, looking over her shoulder toward the body bag being lifted into the medical transport van. She reached back out of reflex, grabbing his hand and squeezing, taking a moment for personal grief and remorse while their job's were, for the moment, done. "It's Cassidy's."

 **A/N: Back to the squadroom, a moment with Cassidy, Jeffries psych eval had more consequences than we thought, and what about next week?**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N** : **"Or hell to pay."**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything except the written words. Dick Wolf, these are your characters, but I only take them out to play (because you won't, and they need the exercise.)**

Olivia flinched when she heard Cassidy's booming voice through the glass, her arms crossed over her chest. "I can't…"

"You have to," Cragen interrupted, telling her she needed to stay where she was and act as a witness to the interview and disclosure, while Tucker and Elliot took the reins on the other side of the wall. "He isn't the same guy I hired, he isn't the same person you used to…"

"I never slept with him!" Olivia barked, suddenly more aggravated. "I have been seeing someone...literally since the moment I got this job! News flash, it wasn't Cassidy!" She rubbed her eyes with balled fists and sighed. "He may not be the same person, but he is still a person...a person who just found out his little sister was raped and killed, by the same asshole that destroyed his life and his career! I can't help feeling a little guilty, here! I mean, we had the bastard! We had him, and we had to let him go on a fucking technicality that even Langan would have overlooked!"

Cragen bit his lip, watching Olivia seethe as her eyes turned back toward the two-way mirror. "Yeah," he breathed, feeling the same pang of guilt hit him for an entirely different reason. "I just...you've been here long enough to know that we don't…"

"We don't get to pick the vic," she scoffed, her eyes glued to the show playing in front of her. "Or the perp. Yeah. I know." She shook her head and scraped her teeth along her lower lip, reading Cassidy's mouth form a string of threatening words, spouting them in Elliot's direction. She tilted her head a bit, then, and ran her hands down the sides of her black pants. "Situations like this...you'd think they'd make it harder to do this job, personal connection and involvement...but not...not with us. Me and him, I mean," she jutted her chin forward to indicate Elliot.

Cragen smiled stoically. "I know that," he said with a firm nod, although he knew she wasn't looking at him. "I wouldn't have hired either of you if I thought investigating friends, or even family, would be a problem. I claim conflict of interest when I don't want to deal with the added strain on this squad, but I have no doubt you'd fight even harder than you do now, either way." He took a step forward, shoving his hands in his pockets, and he cleared his throat before broaching a new topic. "You, uh...have you met Stabler's girl?"

"Me?" No," she shook her head again, frowning slightly. "You?"

Cragen chuckled. "No, uh, I make it a point not to get involved in the personal lives of my detectives. Did it once, learned my lesson." He squinted a bit, blurring Olivia's features and making her blue sweater look black. "I mean, uh, I consider you all family, I do. Won't deny that, I just...won't insert myself into relationships or family issues. Unless...unless I have to." He moved closer, reached out a hand, and brushed Olivia's hair back a bit. "Like now. I can't pretend I didn't notice the bruise on your neck a few days ago. I know that isn't from anything work related, it wasn't in any of the 'Fives, so should I be concerned about your…"

She backed away fast, shooting him an alarmed, but somehow grateful look. "Of course not," she said, trying to smile. "No, it...he doesn't...he would never…" she cleared her throat, knowing that if Cragen knew who had left the marks all over her body, he'd never even question how they got there. She smirked, remembering Elliot's teeth sinking into her skin, his hands gripping her hips so tightly they, too, were slightly bruised. Licking her lips, she tried to convey the nature of the small, purple mark to her captain without embarrassing either of them. "Do you think I'd let him...or anyone else...hurt me, at all?"

"No," he laughed. "No, you'd...you'd kill him." He winked at her, and then sighed as he turned his attention toward the viewing window. "I'm worried about him," he admitted, his breath escaping like ghosts on the words. "Kathy left him, we...we all saw it coming. Even him. He'll never admit it, but it killed him, more for the kids than anything. Part of me thinks he's rushing this...because he doesn't want to be a single father. He can't do it by himself. He wouldn't know how. I hope I'm wrong."

Olivia smiled sadly. She knew how wrong Cragen was, but couldn't tell him. "Elliot Stabler knows who he is, Cap. And if he had to be, he'd be incredible on his own. He...he fell in love, more than he...more than he thought possible. He talks, ya know? He says…"

"I know what he says," Cragen stopped her and pointed to the glass. "Can you tell me what…"

"Cassidy's handing them some bullshit story about still being undercover, working with the feds, to call someone named Porter who'd explain." She tugged on the hem of her sweater and chewed on the inside of her cheek a bit. "You would know if he was working with the FBI, wouldn't you? I mean, you'd have to sign off on...shit, is he?"

Cragen ran a hand down his face, turned without a sound, and pushed through the door into the squadroom, leaving Olivia alone to witness what was left of Cassidy's grieving fury. It wasn't but a few more minutes, when Elliot came out of the interrogation room and stepped up beside her. "I know, you don't even have to…"

"I forget, sometimes, that you can do that," he sighed. "Read lips." He cracked his knuckles and leaned forward, letting one shoulder rest against the glass. "Tucker wants us to call some federal…"

"Cragen's on it," she interrupted. "I swear to God, if this turns out to be some fucking deep cover shit, and Cragen fucking knew the whole time…"

"Could be why he conveniently pulled us off this case when it was set for trial, why Cassidy was booked and handed over to Randall." He eyed her for a minute. "You trust him? As much as you trust me?"

She chuckled. "I don't trust anyone as much as I trust you," she told him. "But, yes. He's never given me a reason not to, so maybe he's as much in the dark about this steaming pile of shit as we are." She shrugged gently. "He's with the DEA, not the FBI. If paths cross, it isn't him that would get the call or the intel. It's his boss."

"Well," Elliot huffed, "Tucker's still keeping him in a cell, until we find out. Either he needed to get himself pegged as a dirty cop, killer, and land himself in Rikers for the sake of his case, or he's full of shit and trying to get his way out of the mess he landed in, which won't fucking work."

Olivia reached out to him, letting her fingertips trail lightly over his bicep. "Rolling up your sleeves usually gets them to crack," she said, as her nail traced the globe and anchor on his forearm. "Cassidy just laughed. Maybe he's telling the truth. If he is, he'd have no reason to see you as a threat, so he…"

"He's a psychopathic narcissist, undercover op or not," Elliot spoke, his eyes following the path her finger was taking around his tattoo. "That...that feels so fucking good," he breathed, letting his head drop to the glass.

She smiled and continued tracing the black outline, listening to his calmed moans. "Cragen's worried about you, by the way. He, uh, he thinks you're rushing things with your girlfriend."

"Fiancee," he mumbled, proving he was still conscious.

With a small laugh, she said, "Yeah, that's why he's worried. Thinks you're leaping into something you aren't ready for, because you don't want to be on your own with the kids."

He opened one eye and let his lips curl into a small smirk. "That what you think?"

"No," she said soberly, staring into the oe blue eye he'd opened. "No, I know exactly why you're marrying her, and I know how much she loves your kids. You're an amazing father, with or without a wife, by the way."

His other eye popped open as his head lifted and straightened. He moved, slowly and directly, until he captured her lips in a slow, deep kiss. "I love you," he whispered, head pressed to hers, nose rubbing against hers as he said again, "I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered back to him, and moved away just in time for the door behind them to open.

Cragen met Elliot's tired and curious eyes, and he held up a hand. "I don't need a lecture, okay? I called the person who needed to be called, you'll have all the answers you need, but you have to realize that you and Benson need to stay the hell out of this, it isn't your case, it's not in SVU's hands anymore." He folded his arms. "We weren't even supposed to be called to that…" he grumbled something about Tucker's ignorance under his breath and kicked the side of a filing cabinet. "Get myself wrapped up in more bullshit now than when I headed up Homicide."

Elliot laughed at that, and nodded in agreement. "Didn't really think I'd be involved with half of the bullshit we step in, either." He put his hands in his pockets and grinned, feeling something cold and metallic under his fingers. "So we sending Cassidy upstate, or what?"

"No, no," Cragen sighed, shaking his head. "Agent Dean Porter is on his way down here with case files for the two of you, he'll read you in out of courtesy, and then it's hands off. You hear me?"

"Tell the fucking drug-lord to stop raping and killing innocent people on our turf and we won't need to get involved!" Olivia shouted. "You didn't really expect us to blow the case because it was Cassidy's sister, did you? We work...you said it yourself. We do this job right, usually the first time, and we follow the evidence wherever it leads, we get the bad guy, we get closure for the family, justice for the victim! Nobody told us that this was out of…!"

"It wasn't your jurisdiction!" Cragen yelled. "Tucker had no business calling you in, and as soon as they got the prints off the vic, it should have flagged a federal case!"

"Excuse me," Tucker's voice butted in coolly as he walked into the room. "First off, it didn't, secondly...when someone shows up naked and dead on my watch anywhere in this fucking city, my first call is to them! I want things done the right way, the first time, and they do it! Where the hell do you get off telling me who I can and can't call on IAB time, anyway, Don?"

Cragen glared harshly at Tucker, blinked once, and through gritted teeth, said, "You have balls! You don't get to pull my detectives in on shit simply because the other units in this city are fucking incompetent!" He took a breath. "You jeopardized a federal case, put my ass in a sling…"

"Your ass?" Tucker barked back, wide eyed.

"Oh, you don't honestly think anyone on the board will hang them out to dry for this, do you?" Cragen's chuckled bitterly. "They're blaming me for letting them run off under your direction, on top of losing Jeffries to problems I should've seen and stopped!"

Elliot held up a hand. "Hold on," he pointed at Tucker. "You said her prints didn't flag…"

"No," Tucker interrupted. "She came up clean, except for her relation to Cassidy. I'm not a moron, I would've stopped everything cold and called the right guys! I'm sorry you got caught up in it, but I'm not sorry for putting the vic first and wanting the best people on the case." He pulled on his tie and smirked. "That's my job, isn't it? Handle all internal issues to the absolute best of my ability?"

Cragen's head shook as he sighed and conceded to Tucker, nodding once. "Keep them out of it, they're off this case as of now, they don't handle evidence or interviews, nothing. Their names are not attached to this...mess. Got it?"

Tucker nodded and then headed out into the SVU squadroom with Cragen on his heels. Elliot shot a glance at Olivia and smirked. "We, uh, we shouldn't tell him, then, huh?"

"In his mood?" She huffed with wide eyes, then shook her head quickly. "We'll tell him when we have to. I can keep my mouth shut." She grinned at him. "Can you?"

He winked at her and shoved his hands back into his pockets, slipping the ring onto his fingertip and off again. "Baby," he whispered with a smile, "I've got no trouble keeping secrets." He kissed her cheek and led her out of the room, hoping to get home in time to see his kids, and reveal one of the secrets it was getting a bit too hard to keep.

 **A:N: Hmmm?**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: "What Do You Say?"**

 **DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns the characters and base storyline, but narrative and dialogue belong to me, please and thank you.**

"And the hobgoblin hobbled over the broken bridge, the fearless fairy fluttered her wings, and the wistful wizard waved his magic wand and restored the kingdom to it's gorgeous glory. The princess turned to kiss the prince as the wizard walked away smiling, leaving the land of Valleydale behind him."

Lizzie looked up at her father with a grin on her face and dreamy eyes, and she rested her face on her hands. "What a wonderful story," she sighed.

Kathleen chuckled. "I liked the hobgoblin! Do the voice, again, Daddy!"

Elliot scowled playfully and in his best low, growling drone, he said, "Who dares disturb my slumber?" With a quick move to his left, he tackled Maureen and tickled her until he felt her kick and heard her squeal. Laughing, he did the same to his other two daughters, filling the bedroom with the sounds of giggles and childish protests.

Olivia stood in the doorway, a warm smile on her face, as she watched Elliot tickle and toss his daughters. Her smile faded, then, and she backed away from the door and toed down the hallway, padded down the stairs, leaving the family moment she'd felt she'd infringed upon. A sigh escaped as she moved into the kitchen, nad as she reached for the coffee pot, she found herself smiling again. She hadn't been able to finish Dickie's bedtime story, he'd fallen asleep before Danny the Daring Dinosaur could find his roar, so after tucking him in and kissing his little cheek, she'd watched Elliot finish his story for the girls.

For the first time since her relationship with Elliot began, she felt like an intruder. A part of her felt as though she had no business here, this family wasn't hers. Another part of her found fault with how she could let herself fisk years of education, years of hard work and skillful dedication, risk everything she had been striving for...on a man who'd already been married, who'd already had four children, who'd already made a name for himself in the NYPD, and who'd been brought up so differently than her.

She stirred the silver spoon around in her mug, the cream turning the black to a light tan. Another sigh and another thought, and she realized an even bigger part of her knew the truth. They were more alike than anyone could have known, their upbringings tragically similar in so many ways. That wife had left him and those beautiful children, and he'd admitted that he wasn't sorry at all. The love they had was intense, powerful, deeper than anything either of them had experienced until they found each other, and the kids? They believe, to the bottom of their little souls, that she is their mother.

She is. In every way that matters.

"That'll keep you up," his sultry voice called into the dark kitchen.

She turned and raised her mug to her lips, winking at him. "Good, because you know we're probably getting called back to work soon."

He laughed as he stepped toward her, looped his arms around her, and dropped his head to her neck. He let his lips trace small, abstract shapes in her skin, his hot breath almost sealing them like tattoos, before he dropped closer. He placed soft kisses in the bend between her neck and shoulder, licked small trails up and down the back of her ear, and whispered soft words to her.

"I love you, too," she whispered back, her eyes closing. Her head fell back, giving him more area to play with, her grip on the mug tightening in fear of spilling her coffee in favor of giving into him.

"I don't like the way that asshole looks at you," he mumbled, a bit of her flesh in his mouth. He suckled a moment more, letting it loose before he left marks. She'd told him about Cragen's worried tirade. "That fucking fedral…"

"I didn't even notice," she interrupted, blindly throwing her arm out in hopes of setting her coffee down on the counter. Relieved, she let go of the ceramic and wrapped herself around him tighter. "I was too busy looking at you."

Smirking proudly, he kissed her cheek, and then the tip of her nose, and finally her lips. "Mine," he whispered, a cocky declaration.

"All yours," she nodded. "Officially, as of…" she glanced at the clock above the archway. "Right now, actually." She let her eyes meet his again. "Court offices are officially closed, we are...officially…"

"Married," he said, wagging his brows and licking his lips. "What do you say, wanna fuck your husband in the kitchen?" He pressed into her, moving her closer to the counter. He chuckled lowly as his hands palmed her ass, squeezed, and lifted slightly.

She returned his happy laugh, but swatted his hands away from her bottom. "You're insane!"

"You're crazier, you married me," he shrugged innocently. He moved fast, capturing her lips. "I would...take you…" he whispered between pecks. "Right here...right now...hard...fast...loud…" he dove in for it, deepening this kiss, sliding his hands down to her ass again, rubbing his palms over her perfectly toned, round cheeks. "But we'd wake the kids, and Julie's still up. Wouldn't want her to quit on us."

"Not when we're gonna need her even more," Olivia agreed, kissing him again. She moaned and licked her lips, savoring the taste of Elliot and coffee on her tongue. "Well, at least...we think…"

"Oh, we are working for this baby," he nodded, still grinning like a fool, a light in his eyes that only existed because of Olivia. "Why do you think I begged the judge to push our papers through faster? I needed to marry you before you had my baby. We may have done things a little fast, but I still wanted them done right." He laughed again and kissed her, and as he pulled away, he looked into her eyes, deeply. "Do you have any idea how happy you make me?"

"Hmm," she hummed teasingly, glancing upward, as if thinking. "Nope. Tell me." She draped her arms around his neck, grinned, and waited.

He sobered, his smile turning downward just a bit as his eyes darkened and he lowered his voice as he said, "I didn't know what love was until you walked into my life. Not really. Since I met you, my heart beats faster and stronger, my body works harder, my head spins but my thoughts are so clear. My senses are heightened, I could see for miles and smell apple pie baking in Jersey. I look out into that grimy, greasy, smog-covered, crime-laden city, and see the beauty in the flaws, the art in the graffiti, and the absolute peace in the sporadic silence. You make me so aware of everything that is good and right in the world, because you see it. You make everything in my life bolder and brighter, and you make me feel like I can do anything in the fucking world. I feel like goddamn Superman, because when you look at me, I know that's what you think I am, and I believe everything I see in your eyes."

She sniffled, turning her head slightly to nuzzle his hand as he wiped her falling tears.

"I'm terrified, every time I walk out the door into the hell we face at work, because I know the risks and I know what it would cost me if I'm slow on the trigger or I take a wrong turn," he cupped her face and moved his lips closer to hers. "I know what it could cost us if Cragen finds out that we took chances, went over his head with all of this, and I know what I stand to lose if...if we get back to the station and that fucking FBI fuckwad flashes a smile and rips you away from me." He smoothed his thumbs under her eyes and moved closer still. "But I look at you, and I'm not afraid anymore, because you keep me grounded and focused at work, I won't hesitate or lose my way. You are here, at home, with our kids, so even if Cragen flew off the handle and fired me, coming home to you makes it all okay. And I know...I see it in your eyes, I feel it when you kiss me, that if any other man ever even shot you a seductive glance, he'd never…"

"Never," she shook her head. "I love you."

"I know you do," he whispered, and he kissed her slowly. He pulled away with his eyes shut, and he whispered, "You married me." He opened his eyes and looked at her and then he shrugged. "Well, legally. You signed a piece of paper. But we will...soon, we will have a…"

The timing of his cell phone ringing never ceased to amaze him, and he rolled his eyes as he heard the shrill tone, telling him Cragen was calling. "Shit," he hissed, pulling the offensive device out of his pocket. "Stabler," he spat, though his eyes were trained again on Olivia's, the soft love in them reflecting back in hers, and he smiled as his boss rattled off instructions and an address in his ear. "No, uh,I'll get her. Tell him not to bother, I got it." He ended the call and exhaled sharply.

"Duty calls," she shrugged with a half-dejected frown. She toyed with the waistline of his pants for a moment, staring down at the fabric between her fingers. "I was this close to letting you…"

"Don't," he groaned, licking his lips and rolling his eyes. He pulled away from her and led her through the living room to their bedroom. "Cragen was gonna send that federal dick to pick you up." He shot her a glance over his shoulder and smirked. "Imagine the look on your mother's face, opening the door to find the FBI…"

"Jesus, can we not?" she chuckled. "Why, though, I mean, I thought he'd be gone by now?"

Elliot pulled an Oxford shirt off of a hanger and began changing, turning fully to watch Olivia do the same. He grinned, wishing her clothes were falling away for an entirely different reason. "Something about this vic being related to one of his cases," he stated, his mouth going dry as he watched Olivia's red flannel pants fall around her ankles. "God, you're fucking gorgeous."

She stared at him, his shirt draped over his body as yet unbuttoned, his slacks hanging loosely on his hips, unbuckled and beltless. "Makes two of us," she nodded once, biting her lip. "You, uh, you really signed…"

"Before you did," he interrupted, stepping closer to her as his fingers slipped the buttons into their holes. "We got married," he whispered, and he let out a soft, breathless laugh as he bent his head and kissed her, slowly, deeply...while his hands fiddled with the buttons on her blouse, twitching with need to go in reverse and peel it away rather than sealing it onto her. "When we get home tonight...I, uh, I think Julie should take the kids to see that movie with the creepy things with the weird hair…"

"The Trolls," she chuckled. "And why should Julie do that?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Because Mommy and Daddy need to celebrate...without the risk of their children hearing anything that may scare them." He wagged his brows and kissed her again, and he moved toward the door. "Ready?"

She nodded as she raked her nails through her hair. She stopped just before walking through the door, which he was holding open for her, and she looked at him. "I love you," she said to him, and then raised up on her toes a bit to kiss him.

He told her, "I love you, too," and watched with a grin as she headed for the front door, unlocked the side table to get their guns and badges, and then slipped her feet into her shoes. He took a breath and held it as he followed after her, hoping they wouldn't be in too much hot water if Cragen got wind of things.

He knew they'd rushed it, risked too much, but he also knew that they stood to lose far more if they'd waited. He'd run her down to the courthouse on a short break, two days after getting the license. Judge VanNuys looked at him as if her were insane, threatened to hold him in contempt if he was pulling some sort of stunt, but gave in and let them sign away their lives to each other under the condition it last forever. Elliot chuckled, remembering VanNuys' veiled threat and outright refusal to process another divorce for him, so he had to "make this one stick!"

"You coming?" Olivia called to him, confused, wondering what the drugged look on his face meant. "You okay?"

"Baby," he laughed, pulling her into him for one last kiss before shit hit the fan, "I am fucking perfect."

They set the alarm and left the house, locked the door, and headed off to save the world, oblivious to Julie standing at the top of the stairs. She sighed, an adoring look on her face, as she took the walk down into the living room. She looked around at the photos in frames, on shelves, on the walls, and she plopped onto the couch with another contented sigh. The Stablers had the perfect life, and had made her a part of it. They'd shown her love, given her a family, and she didn't have too much time to figure out a way to repay them.

As a slow grin spread across her face, she nodded to herself.

She'd figured it out.

 **A/N: Oh! Good or bad? Is Julie sincere or playing games? Time will tell...**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: "Hey, now, hey, my heart is beaten down…"**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters as written on the TV show, but this version of them? All mine.**

"Benson," Tucker said with his mouth full, "You've outdone yourself. These cookies...heaven!" He bit into the cookie again, clutching the tin container Olivia had given him in his arms. "Thanks," he said as he chewed, tilting the cookie in his hand as a goodbye. "Good work, tonight, you two!" he said as he left the room, ignoring the questioning eyes of Cragen.

The captain shook it off as he cleared his throat. "That was...surprisingly easy. Two cases, both federally sanctioned, closed by two...what did you call them, Agent Porter? Lowly cops in a scum-filled city?"

Porter shrugged. "That comment was really only directed at one of them." He shot Elliot a harsh look.

Elliot glared back. "It was a pleasure proving you wrong," he said with a nod.

"I'm just sorry things ended the way they did," Olivia said, staring down at a floor tile. "Those girls...will never..."

"Hey," Elliot's cool voice stopped her. "Don't. Don't go there. You got justice for them, they're back with their families, you have absolutely nothing to feel sorry about."

"He's right," Porter said with a nod. "You...um, both of you...handled this case better than the agents who've been on it for weeks. Including myself." He smiled tenderly at Olivia and said, "You were the angel those girls needed."

Elliot furrowed his brow and mumbled something only Olivia heard, and she she stifled a chuckle, he knew she agreed. He took a breath and sighed, and leaned back on the edge of his desk. "This whole thing...made me think about what could've happened if things with Kathy didn't end when they did. Or the way they did."

"What do you mean?" Olivia turned to look at him, a tinge of fear hidden in her eyes.

Elliot's shoulders rose and fell slowly, and then he said, "I believe, with every ounce of my being, that if she didn't leave...and I didn't have a reason to..." he paused, smiled, and licked his lips. "If I wasn't already in love with someone else...we would have tried to make it work out of sheer obligation, which would have made us resent each other. She wasn't the most stable woman to begin with, I could see her resentment turning to rage. Who knows what that could have led to, ya know? Heartbreak drove this...pediatrist from Iowa...this normal man, a father...to not only kill his ex-wife, but kidnap her boyfriend's kids and his own daughter, while a friend of his tortured the man two states away." He bit his lip and shook his head.

"You'd never hurt your kids," Cragen said, "I don't believe for a moment that you'd go completely haywire like Harbinger."

Elliot gave a half-joking smile. "Now, Cap, I didn't say I was the one flipping shit in that scenario. Just meant I could see Kathy trying to torture me for the rest of my life if it came down to it."

There was a burst of much needed laughter, as Elliot told the small group he was only half-kidding. The break in tension coming at a time when it was needed most.

Porter took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah, when your heart is broken, the rest of you...doesn't work so well, either."

Cragen's eyes widened slightly as he nodded. Recognition of the truth in the statement registering on his face. "You just have to know how to pull yourself back together, no matter how hopeless you feel, and find something...or someone else worth fighting for. If you're lucky, maybe it's...more than one person," he shot a warm look at Elliot and Olivia. "You find your family, and they pull you through it, so you don't end up like Harbinger." He waved a folder around for emphasis. "Speaking of...I need the 'Fives on this...as soon as possible." He nodded at his detectives, then turned toward Porter. "Am I getting any actual cooperation on this from the federal end, or are my detectives filling in the gaps on their own?"

Rolling his eyes, Porter handed a file folder to Cragen. "My end of the paperwork. And uh, my superiors would like to speak to you. They're awaiting your call."

"Right," Cragen said, and he glanced at Elliot and Olivia, trying to pinpoint what was different about them, and trying to decide if was an incredible improvement or not. He shook his head once again and headed into his office to make a phone call he didn't want to make.

"Well, uh, Porter…" Elliot grabbed his keys off of his desk, then reached up and flicked off the lamp, smirking. "Case closed. Back to Washington for you?"

Dean Porter folded his arms with an unfriendly grin on his face. "Not necessarily," he shrugged, wrinkling the fabric of his expensive suit. "Might stick around for a while. Bureau has offices here, I could hang in the city." He sent a heated glance at Olivia, his grin turning more than just friendly now. "That is, if I have a reason to stay." He caught her eyes. "Come to dinner with me."

Olivia pressed her lips together in an attempt to keep from laughing. She tugged lightly on her green blouse, remembering how tenderly Elliot had buttoned it almost twenty hours ago. Smiling, she said, "Pick a place with a kid's menu, and my husband won't eat anywhere that serves sushi."

Porter's face contorted in confusion. "Wait, what? You're…"

"Married," Olivia nodded once, the butterflies spawning in her stomach as the confirmation left her lips.

Porter smiled broadly. "No ring," he hummed, and then he laughed. "Olivia, you don't have to play games like…"

"In this city, with this job? I don't wear my ring to work," she interrupted, excusing away her naked finger. She looked cautiously toward Cragen's door, hoping he was busy behind it and hadn't heard any part of their conversation. "So," she cleared her throat and looked back to Porter, "If you still want to take me, and my family, to dinner…"

"Family," Porter cut her off, moving uncomfortably closer to her with darkening eyes, "A body like that...has never given birth." He tilted his head. "You really have kids?"

"Four," she answered, backing up until she was beside Elliot, who looked murderous. "Three beautiful girls and the sweetest little boy in the world."

There must've been something in her eyes, the love and sincerity as she spoke, because Porter's smugness faded and he sighed. "I didn't know, I...I was told you weren't seeing anyone, not seriously, at least."

"She's not," Elliot barked. "Being married, and all, she isn't seeing anyone. That wouldn't be very moral of her, huh?"

Porter's eyes narrowed. "I even asked you if she..."

"Wanted to watch you crash and burn," Elliot told him with a victorious laugh. "Besides, you've been intruding on this unit, no one around here trusts you, and, uh, it's not a place where people are gonna spill anything about their personal lives around a fed. Shit, I wouldn't really tell you jack shit about mine or my partner's. Not a good idea." He looked at Olivia. "You ready to…"

"At least let me take you home," Porter interjected, staring hopefully at Olivia. "I'd love to meet your kids, and maybe the man who's lucky enough to go home to you every single night." Regret and something unreadable laced his words. He stared at her for a moment, puzzled. "Seriously, need a ride?"

"No, I'm good," Elliot responded, scratching nonchalantly at his neck. Olivia shot him a disbelieving yet humored look, rolled her eyes, and walked out of the squadroom with Elliot chuckling as he followed.

The ride home was silent but comfortable. The radio played a series of songs they sang softly and danced to, giving each other sweet, loving smiles and glances. However, smiles turned to stunned gapes as they rounded the corner and parked in their driveway.

"What the hell," Olivia muttered as she got out of the black SUV and strode over to the large, bright pink truck parked in front of their blue cape-style house. "Excuse me," she shouted, tapping on the window, "hello?"

A cheerful man slid open the window and smiled. "What can I do ya for, little lady?"

Scoffing, Olivia dismissed the question and said, "You can't park this in a residential area!" She eyes the food-truck suspiciously as the man behind the glass chuckled.

"Nah, I was paid for three hours, so three hours is what ya get," he checked his watch and whistled, "and ya got two hours and fifty minutes left, so what's your first pick? We got an amazing red-velvet with the smoothest cream cheese frosting you're ever gonna taste."

Confused, she looked at Elliot. "You got me a cupcake truck?"

"Not me," he said defensively. He looked up at the man and asked, "You said you were paid, here, who paid you?"

Chuckling again, the man handed Elliot a card as he handed Olivia a red-velvet cupcake. "Was told to give you that."

As Olivia shrugged and bit into the luscious-looking treat, Elliot opened and read the card. "Mr. and Mrs. S, you've given me so much, including a home and family I never thought I'd have. Enjoy a thousand cupcakes, on me, Jake and I took the kids out for dinner and to the movies, so you have the night to yourselves. It's the least I could do. With love, Julie."

With her mouth full, Olivia blinked back tears. "That sweet girl," she said as she swallowed.

Overwhelmed by the moment, he leaned over and kissed her deeply. "Guy was right," he said as he pulled back. "That really is the smoothest damn cream cheese frosting I've ever tasted." He winked at her, slipped the card into his pocket, and turned to the man behind the glass with a smile. "Okay, what the hell. I'll have one of your cookies and cream, there." He pointed to a picture on the menu and then turned his attention back to Olivia. Tonight, he thought, was the night everything would change. He smiled broadly, a twinkle in his eye, and kissed her again, knowing she had no clue there were more surprises in store for her.

 **A/N: There's a longer more...adult...chapter coming tomorrow night!**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: "But I always come back for more…"**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters as written on the TV show, but this version of them? All mine.**

After unlocking the door, Elliot nudged it open with his knee and walked into the house, carrying three boxes of cupcakes. The truck had driven off, finally giving the night over to the official newlyweds. He plopped the boxes down on the coffee table, grinned as he tugged the knot of his tie loose, and then turned with a smirk toward Olivia.

"Oh," she chuckled as she closed and locked the door behind her. "I know that look." She kicked off her shoes and sighed, letting the remains of the day go, and looked into his eyes. "Did we really do what I think we did?"

He licked his lips and nodded as he strode over to her, dropping his tie and peeling off his shirt along the way. "Hello, there, Missus Stabler," he let the shirt fall open and off and draped his arms over her shoulders.

Suppressing a moan, she ran her fingertips down and over his muscular chest, watching his pecs twitch at her touch. "Hello," she barely whispered.

He moved closer, kissing her softly and dragging his hands down to her hips. Without warning, he tightened his grip and spun her fast, thrusting her up against the wall. His kiss was now fierce and possessive, his thrusting hips pinning her between his body and the plaster behind her. One of his hands tore away from her form to blindly grasp at the knob of the bedroom door, and a small, victorious yip escaped as the brass turned and the door clicked open.

She clutched the sides of his face, moaning into his mouth as he goaded her to the right and through the door. Pulling at the waistband of his pants, she mumbled something against his lips and worked her left knee between his legs.

"Fuck," he hissed, pulling back only enough to work the buckle of his belt loose and guide them closer to the bed. He tore away her blouse, finally giving into the urges he'd had all damned day, and threw it over his head as he pressed her forward onto the mattress.

She whimpered as the palms of his hands skimmed over her body, caressing the silky material of her bra and causing both nipples to harden and bead beneath it. She scratched at the back of his neck as he fumbled for the clasp and she laughed when he grunted in glory as the strap flew free.

He slowly peeled the silk away and let himself stare, gazing at his new wife as he dropped the bra to the bedroom floor. "You are so...so fucking beautiful." He shook his head in disbelief, unable to truly understand how the glorious creature before him could possibly love him enough to marry him. He moved his hands slowly, then, languidly pulling at her black pants, taking her silken underwear with them. He gasped when he gave the final yank and took in the view: her body, bare and beautiful, curves and angles that gave him goosebumps, hills and valleys that he couldn't wait to travel and explore.

She bit her lip, nervously wondering what was running through his head, what his thoughts were, what his next move was. Her fears were assuaged when he let out a soft "wow" and toed off his shoes. She smiled, hearing them thump onto the floor, and a loud laugh broke the tense silence as he pounced on her.

He nipped at the thin skin of her neck, his fingers trying like hell to push his slacks over his hips. He gnashed at her throat, moving in a slightly painful twist to pull his socks off and shirk his pants to the ground. Now, just as naked as she was, he pulled her close and dragged his lips up to hers.

The kiss, slow and deep, seemed more like a desperate attempt to devour each other whole. Hands gripped and dug at bits of skin, their bodies fully pressing to each other. Flesh to flesh, every inch of them crying for connection to the other, the moans softened and grip loosened.

He moved first, only slightly, to shift them closer to the middle of the bed, and for the first time since their relationship took an unexpected but unavoidable turn toward intimacy, he didn't bother asking if she'd taken her pill, he didn't think about what day of the week or time of the month it was, he wasn't worried about any panic setting in during the blissful afterglow. Now, his prayers were for the very opposite, his mind set on creating something more than just a night of unbridled passion. He pulled his head back and lifted it just enough to look down at her. "I love you," he whispered.

She felt him pressing into her, his thick tip inching its way home, and she moaned with a smile and a soft, "I love you, too." Her fingers curled and her nails dug into his shoulder blades as she felt him moving deeper into her, stretching her the way he always did, loving her the way he would forever.

He began a slow, deep rhythm of thrusts and pulls, meeting her eager body with a slap of his and a series of whispered grunts. Tonight, there was no fear of losing, there was no rush to get the most out of the other lover in case they were gone in the morning, there was no trepidation or hesitation and no worry that one was invested more or less. Tonight, it was about solidifying what was always known, celebrating an immaculate union and sacred bond, and confirming and consummating what would be the last wedding for either of them.

Their eyes sparkled with every glance, their bodies glistened with building sweat and a few happy tears, and their hearts beat in perfect unison as pulses raced faster and faster in time with heated thrusting and arching.

A night neither would ever forget, for a reason both would remember forever.

He held her closer, wrapping one large hand around both of her slender wrists and pressing them into the mattress above her head.

"Fuck, baby," he moaned, his eyes rolling as his strength and resolve faded. "Fuck," he spat again. He felt her tighten and grip him, holding him inside of her, like a satin clamp.

Her back curled and her jaw dropped, a delicious sound was ripped from her throat, and she came for him so hard that her entire body trembled and quaked.

He held her and moved as slowly as he could, letting her ride it out on him, a smugly satisfied smile on his face. "Not over yet, baby," he whispered, kissing her chin and quavering bottom lip. Once he felt her give a bit of release, he moved faster, harder, earning the right to be the only man who would ever again know the feeling of being inside of her.

"Oh, God, Elliot," she cried in a strained pitch, not used to the freedom to be loud. Her muscles had only just relaxed before they began to tense again. "Oh, my God," she repeated. Her eyes focused on his and her hips began to thrust just as hard and fast as his, meeting with loud smacks and thuds.

"Hold on, baby," he commanded, his jaw clenched and teeth tight. "Not yet. Please, baby."

She rolled her eyes, forcing her body to obey his words, every muscle seizing at once, it seemed. "Elliot," she whimpered, over and over, as her head thrashed from side to side in a futile effort to stave off the explosion she knew was coming.

"God, Liv, baby, fuck," he panted, finally letting himself succumb to her. He gave three final, hard, hits of his hips and then fell into her trap. He stilled as his mouth gaped, eyes shut tight, spilling into her harder than ever as if laying permanent claim to her once and for all.

She shook against him again, her inner walls pulsating and milking every single drop of what he had to give her, and when he was spent, and she was weak, their bodies still beat on, both craving more, despite nothing being left to take. "Oh, my God," she breathed.

He used the dregs of his energy to roll them over, knowing he wouldn't have the strength to keep from collapsing on her, and he let his eyes close.

Her torso rose and fell with his heaving chest, her ragged breathing making words impossible to speak, but nothing needed to be said.

He weakly kissed her forehead, and draped his twitching arms over her slick body. "God, I love you."

All she could give him was a pathetic nod and soft affirmation, her entire being trembling against his. She moaned louder as she felt him twitch inside of her, and she chuckled at his pained groan.

Together, they let out matching contented sighs, and they cuddled tighter in an effort to be as close to each other as possible, not knowing that there is no way they could be, at all.

 **A/N: Hmmm. What does that mean?**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: "There's nothing like love to pull you up…"**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters as written on the TV show, but this version of them? All mine.**

The morning seemed to roll in earlier than usual, the alarm blaring after they'd only just fallen asleep. With a groan, Elliot blinked his eyes open as Olivia let out a garbled curse and tried to roll off of him.

The pair seethed, separating for the first time since they'd walked through the doors the night before, having fallen asleep nestled together, him still inside of her.

"Christ," he spat, "I hate that part." He shook his head and leaned forward, kissing her softly, swallowing her moan of agreement with his kiss. He whimpered when she pulled away, but smirked almost evilly when she stood and the sheets fell away from her. He licked his lips as his gaze followed her naked form into the bathroom. "Mine," he chuckled, as if he'd won some sort of contest.

He glanced at the clock, swatted at the alarm button to finally shut it off, and rubbed his eyes in a sad attempt to wake himself up. He tossed the blankets off and got out of the bed, beginning to get himself ready for the day, pulling a light-colored suit off of a hanger and kicking his shoes away from the side of the wall. "Baby?"

He heard her muffled yell between the last swish of her toothbrush and the start of running shower water, laughing at the perfection of his life at the moment. "You think Cragen will fire us if we show up matching again?" Her loud guffaw gave him his answer and he reached into her side of the closet, picking out a silk shirt that was almost the same color as his suit and tie. He tossed it onto the bed next to his clothes, sauntered over to the side dresser, and opened the top middle drawer. His grin went from content to dark and smokey in seconds, his fingers dancing over satin and lace, cotton and silk, finally wrapping themselves around a bra that made his mouth go dry. "Fucking hell," he choked out, pulling it and the matching underwear out of the pile and moving to toss it on top of the pants he'd chosen for his...yes, she was his wife.

"Really?" her voice called lowly from the doorway between their bedroom and master bathroom. "You want me to wear that…" she pointed to the blood-red, lace trimmed bra still dangling by its strap from Elliot's finger. "...to work?"

"I want you to wear this," he held it up, "To work. Every day. On Christmas. On my fucking birthday, baby. I just had this vision of you in it...and out of it…" he shook his head as he moved toward her, tangling his free hand in her wet locks. "I'm gonna be distracted all fucking day."

She smiled at him, stood up on her tip-toes, and let her lips graze over his for a long moment before kissing him slowly. "I love you," she whispered, her hand curling around the bra he was still clutching in his hand. She pulled on it, laughing softly when it slid out of his grip and into hers. She watched him carefully as her towel fell, loving the way she could see every thought and every emotion in his eyes, and she slowly put in the bra that he was so desperate to see her wear. She winked at him when she clasped it, and then reached for the silky briefs, when she yelped in surprise.

He had pulled her to him roughly, slanting his lips over hers and moving one hand down to cup her now silk-covered breast. He squeezed, twisted, and moaned into her mouth, shivering when her chilly fingers dragged down his back and her cold palm rested on his ass. "Fuck," he ground out, thrusting his hips. "Can't...no time...shit...kids…"

That last word did the job and they broke apart with weak knees and heavy breaths. "Go," she told him, jerking her head over her shoulder. "If I can get in and out of there in five minutes, I expect you to do it." She swatted playfully at his bare ass, chuckling when he jerked forward in response. With another audible sigh, she finished getting dressed, thoughts of what to make for breakfast and mental to do lists filling her head. She jumped a bit when, just as she was reaching into a drawer for socks, she felt his hands on her hips. Instinctively, she leaned back into him. "That was fast," she whispered, her arm curling back to reach around his neck.

"Three minutes," he whispered, kissing a spot behind her ear. "Got you beat." He spun her around and kissed her deeply, moaning her name like a prayer. The opening and slamming of doors out in the hallway pulled them back to reality once more, and together, they sighed and dropped their foreheads. "Kids are up," she mumbled. "Get dressed, I'll go get them…"

"Honey," he interrupted, still holding her hand. His eyes flickered as a thought crossed his mind, making his mood suddenly serious. "You feeling okay?"

"I feel perfectly fine," she said with narrow eyes, unsure of why he'd asked. "And I just figured out what to give the kids for breakfast."

He gave her a crooked grin. "Cupcakes?"

She nodded with a laugh as she headed out of the bedroom, leaving Elliot to dress in solitude. He whistled a happy tune as he pulled on his suit pants, forgoing anything underneath figuring he would save time and discomfort, and the whistle turned to humming when he buttoned up his shirt. By the time he pulled on his socks and shoved his feet into his shoes, he was giving Bon Jovi a run for his money, a full-blown musical performance following him out of the bedroom and into the living room, where he added a jaunty dance on his way to the kitchen.

His children, each with a ring of frosting around their mouths and cupcake crumbs on their plates, stared at him, concerned. "Daddy?" Kathleen cautioned, shooting a worried look toward her stepmother.

"I'm fine," he returned in a sing-sing manner, pulling Olivia into his arms, dancing with her around table.

"Daddy's gone crazy, kids," she said, seriously, looking into Elliot's blue eyes.

"Yeah, about you," he told her, kissing the end of her nose. He stopped dancing, but didn't let her loose, and stretched his arm to grab a cupcake. "I'm just...happy. Very, very happy." He kissed her quickly, and then bit into his red velvet cupcake. "Grab your stuff," he said with his mouth full. "We gotta go."

The kids wiped their faces with their napkins, piled the dishes in the sink, and scattered to gather their school things. Olivia, her face screwed up in confusion, shot him a look. One that didn't require any accompanying words.

"It's the seventh," he said to her, licking his lips. He peeled down the wrapper and bit into the cake again. "Usually," he chewed, "By now, you've eaten an entire bag of Doritos, cried over some stupid movie about a dog, yelled at me for breathing the wrong the way, and worked through two bottles of pain-killers for cramps and migraines," he spoke fast, between bites of his cupcake. He tossed the torn wrapper into the trash can, licked the remains of the cake and icing off of his fingers, and looked into Olivia's eyes. "I know we just decided to start trying, but, baby, I think, maybe, you're already…"

She held up a hand, unwilling to let him voice the thought. She was stunned, not just because he had her routines and habits memorized, or that he knew precise dates and timing of her cycle, but because he was right. "We…" her head tilted. Her eyes flickered a bit. "No, we...I couldn't be…"

"Seriously?" he interrupted, leaning closer to her, dropping his voice, and clenching his jaw just a bit. "Baby, you know damn well you could be. We haven't exactly been the poster-couple for safe-sex, here. Not that we'd need to be, but…" he licked his lips, memories of nights of unbridled and uninhibited sex flashing through his mind. "Even our first time, I didn't...we didn't…" he cleared his throat, trying to calm himself, the image of how furiously and passionately things happened between them, and neither was concerned. "Baby, we could have had a kid by now, you know we…"

"Yeah," she whispered back, nodding as she licked and bit her lips. "I'll...I'll get a test on the way home, and we'll….we'll see." She turned her head back, looked at him, and she smiled. "You...you want me to be, don't you?"

"I just reenacted a scene from a fucking Tony-winning musical, complete with cheesy dance number," he said. "What do you think?"

She shook her head at him as she laughed again, kissed him sweetly, and then led the line of Stablers out the door, into the city. After dropping the kids off at school, calling the house to check on Julie and thank her for the amazing night, and driving through a Starbucks for enough caffeine to kill a small T-Rex, they walked into the squadroom of the Special Victims Unit nodding and waving at their colleagues.

"Here," Elliot said, dropping a cup of coffee onto Munch's desk. "Stop bitching that no one ever gets you the good stuff."

Aw, Stabler," Munch said dramatically, holding up the green and white cup. "Thanks, man!" He sipped it and smiled, feeling less grumpy already.

Chuckling, Olivia handed a cup to Cragen, who nodded and smiled at her, and turned to give one to Cassidy out of habit. Her face fell, her heart sank, and the events of the past few weeks came back in full swing. "He's not coming back, is he?"

Cragen sipped his coffee and eyed her suspiciously. "You want him to come back?"

"No," she shook her head, turning. "Not for any reason other than...how does somebody just…"

"Didn't have a choice," Munch grumbled, taking another swig of his coffee. "We finally got the straight story, got the bastards behind it all, and he...he didn't have a choice." He looked over at his teammates. "His sister's funeral is tomorrow night, he, uh...he asked us all to…"

"Yeah, man. Of course," Elliot said, a bit of guilt and rage making his nostrils flare, but more sympathy making the decision. He sipped his coffee as his eyes turned to Olivia, and his smirk stayed hidden behind the cup. He watched her sip her own drink, grimacing at the fact that it wasn't her usual morning high, but something with much less sugar and no caffeine.

Her gag was small, but people heard it. "Too hot," she lied, putting the cup down on her desk. "What, um...what do we…"

"Nothing," Cragen said fast, "We got nothing, not until Tucker straightens out the mess he made with the…"

"What?" Elliot interrupted. His brow furrowed and his arms folded, he tilted his head and repeated, "What?"

"I told you," Cragen said as he spun the cup around in his hands, "He needed to find a way to get your names off that case, so we had to turn everything over to Agent Porter, who, um...put Olivia's name back on it."

"Excuse me?" Olivia fumed. "How? How the fuck did that happen?"

Cragen grinned at her. "Seems you made an impression on him, and he wanted to give you the accolaides and commendation on behalf of the FBI. Now, Tucker's looking into it, suspicion of pandering, and until he talks to Porter and finds out I didn't ask him...and neither did any of you...we're docked."

"He wouldn't…" Elliot began, but he stopped himself, turned, and ran out the doors without a second glance at anyone, except Olivia.

Ten minutes later, he was pounding on Tucker's office door, a plastic bag from a drugstore rustling as he moved. He heard the droning voice of Ed Tucker tell him to "come in," so he turned the handle and without even saying hello he said, "You know damn well no one in the unit was playing nice with that federal fuckwad, especially not Olivia!"

Tucker, his brows raised and one hand in the air, spoke to the person on the phone. "Yes, Sir, I'm sure they'll be honored, Mayor Edenton!" He watched Elliot's face conform into apologetic embarrassment and chuckled. "Yes, Sir. Goodbye." He narrowed his eyes, folded his hands, and said, "Now, without yelling and cussing at me, what's the problem?"

Elliot sat down and huffed. "You're benching the unit because a federal asshole put a detective's name on…"

"No, that's what I told Cragen," Tucker interrupted. He shook his head and moved a thick file from the side of his desk to the middle. "You psychic? I was planning on calling you down here about this. You know I pulled a lot of strings to get Serena into that facility."

Elliot squinted. "Yeah, man, and Liv and I are grateful, but what does…"

"This is one of the reasons why," Tucker slid the file over to Elliot. "You didn't see this, you don't even know it exists."

Elliot took the folder, eyeing Tucker. He cleared his throat and flipped the file open, his eyes widening when he realized what it was. "Christ, do you know how long she's been looking for this? I helped her dig through boxes and run searches and…"

"I know," Tucker nodded, "That that federal fuckwad when you see him, he's the one who found it." He looked at Elliot firmly. "In Cragen's office. I benched the team to give myself an excuse to get into those files, and Elliot...there are hundreds of cases he never put into the database, victims whose stories were never documented and evidence that was never logged." He bit his lip and sighed. "I need you and Benson to help me figure out why."

Elliot looked up, nodding. "Can I take this? I mean, Eddie, she needs to see this."

Reluctantly, Tucker nodded, and then caught a glimpse of the plastic bag in Elliot's lap, the small box peeking out. "Bro," he said, stunned, "Something you wanna tell me?"

Like a deer in headlights, Elliot swallowed back hard. "Well, uh, no. Not...not yet. Not until we…" he tapped the bag. "But I will. One way or the other, you'll know."

Tucker gestured to the file. "So will you."

 **A/N: What's in the file? Why was Cragen hiding it? And are we having a baby?**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: "When you're lying down on the floor, babe…"**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters as written on the TV show, but this version of them? All mine.**

Olivia's eyes shimmered with tears, but every bit of her resolve was put toward keeping them from falling. "I always thought…" she shook her head. "We tried to find him; you even drove me across town to see if…"

"I know," Elliot whispered, rubbing circular patterns on her back with one hand, the other balled into a fist on the arm of the couch. "I thought we'd eventually…" he trailed off, mumbling as he heard her sniffle beside him. "But…" he grabbed the file and slipped it out of her loose grip. "Look, baby. You have a brother, and a...uh...sister-in-law." He pointed to a name scrawled in the notes. "We could...I mean, if you want to…"

"And say what?" she snapped with a scoff. "Hi, my name is Olivia, your father raped my mother?"

He let out an awkward noise, something between a laugh and a sob. "Baby, no, you...we could talk to him, ask him the questions that you would've asked your father. Finally get the answers you've been searching for, that we..."

"Christ, El," she interrupted, her voice cracking. "I wanted to look him in the eyes, ask him why, and give my mother the satisfaction of knowing we found the son of a bitch." She sighed and rubbed her eyes. She blinked and looked up at Elliot, and asked, "Why did Cragen have this? Why did he keep this from me?" She sniffled. "From us?"

He kissed her temple and nuzzled the side of her face. "Tucker's looking into it. Maybe he wanted to make sure you could handle it," he breathed. "You've only been with the unit for a little over a year, maybe...he's probably trying to gauge how well you can compartmentalize, honey. If he gave you this, and you had some kind of emotional breakdown, he…"

Again, she cut him off, only this time, there was fire in her eyes and anger in her words. "I have to bury my entire childhood to do this job! My relationship with my mother! The whole reason I exist!" she yelled. "Does he think I just got over all of that bullshit? And let's not even go into the fact that I have to hide my fucking relationship! My husband and kids! I mean, fuck, I can fucking compartmentalize!"

"Shh," he hushed, pulling her into his arms. "Baby, breathe, okay? I know that. Cragen probably doesn't, but I do. Tucker does. That's why…"

She sobbed so harshly it cut off his words one last time. Her fingers curled around the collar of her lover's shirt as she pulled herself into him, and she cried against his chest, her hot tears forming abstract patterns on the cotton.

He closed his eyes and wrapped her up tighter, dropping his chin to the crown of her head. He let her cry, knowing that she needed the release, needed to let go of everything she'd been holding onto for far too long. He didn't try to stop her, or tell her to calm down, he simply whispered to her, "I'm right here, baby. I got you."

The file fell to the floor as she wrapped her legs around his waist and twisted them together, burying her head in the bend of his neck. Elliot glanced down at the mugshot of the man who raped her mother smiling smugly from the carpet, a copy of his death certificate blinking beneath it. His nostrils flared and, although he'd wanted more than anything to give her the closure and justice she deserved, he grinned. He was glad the bastard was dead. He closed his eyes as his evil smile faded and he pulled his wife closer to him.

He held her, just like that, until she'd cried herself to sleep in his arms. He slowly, carefully, found his grip and stood up, sidestepping the scattered papers, and carried her into their bedroom. He laid her down on the mattress, gingerly slipped off her shoes, socks, and pants, and tossed the comforter over her lightly. He knelt down to kiss her forehead while pulling his cellphone out of his pocket.

He stepped out of the room just as someone picked up the call, and in a low voice, he spoke. "Yeah. It's me, what did you...he what?" he barked, but grimaced and looked over his shoulder at the open bedroom door, and instantly lowered his voice again. He dragged a hand down his tear-damp shirt and said, "She read it she...she didn't, uh, take it too well." He scratched his stubbled chin, listening as he strolled into the bathroom. "All of them?" He nestled the phone between his ear and shoulder as he unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off, and then opened the medicine cabinet to find his razor.

"Oh, oh shit. And you thought that it had something to do with...no, we haven't been able to see her." He shuffled a few things around, looking for his shaving foam. "Liv calls, but...it's intensive therapy, Eddie. Her doctors…" he cleared his throat, dropped his razor into the sink, and forgot all about shaving when something on the edge of the sink caught his eye. He picked it up and smiled. "That makes me feel a bit better, but...Ed, man, we need a favor. Another one." A tear rolled down his cheek as he turned the small, thin piece of plastic around in his hand.

As he ran out of the bathroom and toward the bedroom, he sniffled. "Yeah, Yeah she…" he paused, listening to his friend and colleague. "That means a lot to me, Ed. Thanks. I'll see you in a bit. Bye." He hung up the phone as he walked back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. "Liv," he cooed, brushing her hair back. "Baby, wake up."

She stirred a bit, letting out a soft moan as she winced and squinted. "No," she pouted with closed-eyes.

"Honey, please, I have to tell you something." He bent over and kissed her softly, moaning when she roused and responded, her hand scooping the back of his neck and making the kiss deeper. He pulled back with a moan and a sigh, and slipped what had been in his hand into hers, their eyes keeping a solid lock.

Holding her breath, knowing what it was, she looked down with unblinking eyes. She gasped softly, her open eyes blurring with more tears for a different reason. "El...we...we're...I'm…"

"Pregnant," he whispered, smiling at her. He brushed his thumbs under her eyes, swiping away fallen tears. "Yeah, you are. We're…"

"Having a baby," she breathed, tearing her eyes away from the positive pregnancy test in her hand to look at him. She dropped the test and cupped his face, moving closer to him. "El, you know how much I…"

"I love you," he spoke, his nose brushing hers. "I love you, and this…" he let one hand fall to her stomach. "This miracle of ours." He kissed her softly. "We're having a baby." He pressed his lips to hers again and whispered, "I love you so..."

She stopped him with a kiss, all thoughts of her father and newly discovered brother fleeing her mind, replaced by a list of baby names and nursery themes. A night that began with the worst heartbreak she'd ever experienced ended with the happiest moment of her life, and the man of her dreams, the true love of her life, held her and loved her through it all. "I love you,too, El," she whispered back.

A soft knock on the bedroom door broke them apart, and with smiles on their faces they turned to see who was there. "Come in," Elliot said, kissing Olivia's cheek.

"Hey, Mister S," Julie said, biting her lip, "Um, there's someone here for you. Two...two someones. I was just coming in and, they...um…" she shrugged apologetically. "They followed me through the door. They're in the living room, and I don't know who the woman is, but she's like...hardcore staring at the pictures on the walls. It's creepy."

"She? She's what?" Elliot questioned. He looked at Olivia and took her hand, both of them rising and following Julie out into the living room. Olivia's eyes widened and she pulled herself closer to Elliot.

The man on the couch said nothing, but the woman standing near the fireplace smiled brightly, and she nodded at them as she said, "Hello."

Olivia took a slow breath as she replied, "Hi, Mom."

 **A/N: Ohhh my!**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: "So talk to me, talk to me like lovers do…"**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters as written on the TV show, but this version of them? All mine.**

Elliot sipped a mug of hot coffee as he leaned against the wall between the living room and the kitchen. His eyes were trained in Olivia and her mother, but his words were directed at the man standing beside him. "Thanks for this, Ed," he said softly. "She...she needed this."

"So did Serena," Tucker said with a nod. He brought his own cup to his lips, took a long sip of coffee, and spoke again. "After finding out what was in that file, I knew Serena had a right to know. That they needed...each other, right now. She's gotta be back to the center in an hour."

Elliot licked his lips, nodding his understanding, and took another sip of coffee. "We had something we needed to tell her, too," he said with a grin. "The baby."

Ed Tucker chuckled, imagining a mini version of Elliot with dark hair, running around kicking people in the shins. "Look our world," he joked. "Oh. That favor you asked for, you...uh, you got it. I will take care of things on our end, but your captain is gonna ask questions, and…"

"We're telling him," Elliot interrupted. He looked at Tucker and smiled. "First thing in the morning. Everything. That's why I needed to talk to you, first. I can't risk…"

"I got your backs," Tucker stopped him and gave him a closed-eyed, sincere smile. "She, uh, she wants you." He jutted his chin in Olivia's direction.

Elliot jumped into action, moving over to the couch and sitting next to his wife. "Hello," he said, leaving over to kiss Serena on the cheek. He settled back and looped an arm around Olivia.

"Olivia told me...you found him," Serena spoke, both of her hand clutching one of Olivia's. "After all the time, you've found him, and he's…" she took a breath. "It's just as well. I'm sure as much as we all would've liked to hear him admit, out loud, everything he's done, none of us would've been able to look at him." She looked down, squeezed Olivia's hand, and said, "I know I wouldn't have."

"It's closure," Elliot said to her warmly. "He can't hurt anyone anymore." He cracked the knuckles of his left hand with his thumb, making Olivia shudder. He chuckled softly and whispered an apology, and then ran his left hand through her hair tenderly.

"Being in that place," Serena started, as she watched the sweet moment between her daughter and son-in-law, "Has made me realize how much I missed. How much of your life I was not welcome to witness because of...my inability to deal with my past." She brushed the back of her hand over her watering eyes. "Everything is so clear, now, and I hope...I hope there's a chance that you'll let me be there for this one." She reached a hand out and timidly rested it over Olivia's stomach. "I missed four already, I don't want…"

Olivia had to stop her, tell her the truth. "No, mom, you…"

"You won't miss a moment," Elliot interrupted. He looked down as Olivia's head whipped toward him, her questioning eyes gazing into his. He lowered his voice and told her, "Look at her, baby. She's here and she's healthy...sober...what's the harm in letting her believe that our kids are...ours? Telling her the whole story will just confuse her, maybe even make her...hate me." He kissed her quickly. "It's okay."

Olivia nodded and smiled, kissed him again, and then turned back to her mother. "Of course, Mom. As long as you stay…"

"Another month of inpatient, and then meetings three times a week, a regular session with my therapist," Serena listed. "With him gone...most of my demons died with him. No more looking over my shoulder, or wondering if I will see him at the market, in the bank, at the...well, I don't go to the bar anymore." She sniffled and brought her hand back from Olivia's midsection to her face, wiping away the tears that had fallen. "I blamed you for so long, took my anger and anxiety out on you, drank until I was too stupid to realize…" Her breath hitched. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

Olivia threw her arms around her mother and Elliot's face turned toward Ed Tucker, emotions running high, as he simply said another silent thank you and sipped his coffee.

After Tucker had taken Serena back, the couple pulled on comfortable pajamas, curled up in bed, and tried to get as much sleep as they could. It wasn't easy; Olivia tossed and turned, too much weighing on her mind and overwhelmed by it all. Elliot woke whenever she did, soothing and calming, cuddling and kissing away all of her doubt and fear.

When the alarm buzzed, Elliot slapped it violently, already being wide awake. He looked down at Olivia and smiled, bent over to kiss her, and whispered, "Good morning, Mommy."

A smile spread across her face, her eyes still closed, and she rolled over and sat up. Her head lolled forward, dropping to his shoulder, and she said, "So that wasn't a dream?"

"Nope," he laughed, kissing her awake. The slow, languid kiss lasted a long moment, their hands grazing skin and tangling in hair and clothes. "Baby," he whispered, his hands slipping down into the cotton of her plaid bottoms. "I can't wait to see your body change," he told her, smoothing his palm down and up her thigh. "Feel our baby kick, see the look in your eyes the first time it happens." He kissed her, short pecks, until his mouth latched onto her earlobe. "I'll be right here, for every moment, every craving from chocolate covered pickles to sex on the roof...anything you ask."

Her moan was louder than she meant, her nails dug into his scalp. "El," she breathed.

"You are so fucking sexy, so beautiful," he panted, slipping his hand back down, almost meeting its mark. The melodic notes of their doorbell broke them apart, and they shared a confused look. "It's way too early for anyone to be here."

"God, I hope it's not Tucker with my mother again," she acknowledged, rubbing her eyes and trying to calm down. She gave him one last kiss before pulling his mom off the bed. Together, they padded barefoot out into the living room, Olivia staying near the stairs to wrangle the wandering children as Elliot opened the front door.

"Elliot," the man said, "I'm sorry to…" he paused, catching sight of Olivia, now carrying a very tired six year old girl. Lizzie had wrapped her legs around Olivia's waist and arms around her neck, her head buried in the bend as she dozed. "What...is that Olivia?"

Elliot turned, his brows shot up, and he ran over and took his daughter out of Olivia's arms. "No heavy lifting," he scolded, and then set the child down and nudged her toward the table. "Come on, kiddo, wake up." He popped his head up. "Cereal, and then dishes in the…"

"Dishwasher," Kathleen yawned from the dining room table. "Got it." She plopped into the nearest chair and munched groggily on her Fruit Loops.

Olivia laughed but then turned to see who had walked into the house, and she stiffened, "Oh, um…" she cleared her throat and wiped her not sweating palms down the front of her flannel pants.

Elliot lifted the fallen strap of her tank top and fixed it on her shoulder and said, "We planned on telling him this morning anyway, right?"

"Not like this," she hissed back. "Cap, we, uh...can explain why…"

"Benson, I'm fully aware of this…" he waved a hand. "Situation. It wasn't affecting your work, you never brought it into the station, so I never got on your ass. I'm not here to string you up for this."

"You knew?" Elliot asked with narrow eyes and folded arms. "For how…"

"I didn't become a cop because I liked the pretty uniform," Cragen snarked. "I actually do have deductive reasoning and observation skills." He ran a hand down his face. "I'm here because we got a vic...that you…" he glanced at Olivia. "Both of you...need to come with me."

Elliot bit his lip and looked over at the table, his four kids eating their breakfast in sleepy silence. "The kids, Cap, we can't just…"

"I'll get them to school," Julie's voice broke into Elliot's protest. "If you need to go, it's cool, I got this."

Cragen's head tilted. "Who…" he pointed inquisitively.

Olivia smiled. "Julie, our nanny." She looked over her shoulder as the young woman walked further down the stairs. "Thanks, honey," she said, and then turned to Cragen. "Just give us time to…"

"You don't need to change," Cragen spoke. "You won't be running the investigation. You just need to come with me."

"Who?" Elliot asked, grabbing his jacket and Olivia's off of the hooks by the door. He tossed hers to her as he shoved his feet into the sneakers on the mat. "Cap, come on. Who?"

Cragen waited until they both had their jackets on and opened the door. He took a breath, looked at each of them, and as calmly as he could, he said, "Jeffries."

 **A/N: A full conversation with Cragen, and what happened to Jeffries? Next**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: "Yeah, walk with me, walk with me, like lovers do…"**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters as written on the TV show, but this version of them? All mine.**

"Sit down," Olivia hissed, the nail of her left middle finger caught between her teeth. "Please?"

Munch shook his head and continued pacing, stepping back and forth past Olivia and Elliot as they sat waiting.

"John, man," Elliot sighed, looking up at his friend, "You're driving yourself, and us, crazy. Please, just sit…"

"If Benson was lying on an operating table, what the hell would you be doing?" Munch snapped, turning sharply and stopping on a dime.

Elliot's nostrils flared, and with a clenched jaw and balled fists, he shook his head and laughed bitterly. "Not the same fucking thing, man. You know it!"

"Oh, right, because you knocked her up it gives you the right to think my feelings are…" Munch stopped, his chest heaving once. "I'm sorry, I'm…" he closed his eyes. "I didn't mean that." He plopped into an empty chair and dropped his head into his hands. "She was my partner. We were close, it was my job to protect…"

"It was only your job in the field," Elliot interrupted gently. "She went down a dangerous path, John. No one could have done anything."

Munch shook his head again, licking his dry lips. "What did she get herself into? Why didn't any of us try to talk to her?"

"She wouldn't have listened," Olivia offered. "Munch, you were there. We all tried to talk to her. She was already in way over her head, and she would have only listened if someone said the right things. You know she wanted…" she glanced at Elliot. "She wanted things she couldn't have, not while working this job." She rubbed her hand over Munch's shoulder.

Munch nodded, whipping his eyeglasses off with one hand. "No one told us anything," he grumbled. "Been here for over an hour, and no one will tell me…" he sniffled. "We're her family, right? They should…" he stopped talking as Cragen came walking toward them. He stood fast, letting Olivia's comforting hand fall away from him.

"She's on her way up to recovery," Cragen said, and he saw Munch slump and sigh, overcome with relief. "She's not...she's not out of the woods. It's...it's touchy, right now, John."

Elliot and Olivia, hand in hand, stood, then, too. "What happened to her, Cap?" he asked, cupping his other hand over Olivia's. He felt her sink deeper into his side, and he bent his head and kissed her quickly. Looking back at Cragen, he saw a flash of something unreadable in the aging man's eyes. "Well?"

Cragen ran a hand down his face. "She was at a bar, little Irish Pub down on Banks, she was...drinking. Heavily. The bartender called her a cab, assumed she got into it and went home. He went around back to load in the deliveries, around four this morning, found her…" he choked on his words. "By the dumpster. She was raped, beaten, and from what the doctors told me it was…" he shook his head and coughed. "Shit, it was more than one son of a bitch." He looked back at John. "And no, it's out of our district, I got the captain's word that he will keep us in the loop. You're not going out there to play vigilante, either, you hear me?"

Munch stared at him for a moment, white with rage, and then took a deep breath and nodded. "Did you tell the guys in the lab to…"

"They were told this case was a priority," Cragen assured him, giving him a gentle pat on the back. "Why don't you go get some fresh air, huh?" He tried to smile. "I'll come to get you if they tell me anything new." He tugged on the cuffs of his white shirt as he watched his oldest friend walk through the sliding doors, and then he heaved a heavy sigh and turned to look at Olivia and Elliot. "You two…"

"We know," Elliot interrupted, biting his lip. "I'll fill out whatever transfer forms you give me, I will, I just need time to…"

"Stabler," Cragen spat, cutting him off, "No one's making you sign anything, except new forms for HR because Benson's been lying about her address for too fucking long, hasn't she?" He saw the perplexed look on their faces, tilted his head, and squinted his eyes a bit. "You were...you were really sure I was going to fire you over this?"

Olivia bit her lip and nodded. "You always said…" she paused and shrugged. "When Jeffries hit on Elliot…"

"What Jeffries was doing bordered on harassment," Cragen told her, holding up a hand. "And she did it out in the open, at work, it affected her judgment, her concentration...and it was bound to lead to one of you punching her lights out, which would have given me more paperwork than I cared for, so, yeah, it was a problem." He waved a hand between the two of them. "This...this started before you even had a permanent desk, Benson, and you kept it the hell out of work. As long as that remains the case, you'll be fine." He grinned at her. "Which, for you, is behind a desk for the next...what, eight months?"

"Six," Elliot corrected. "She's, uh, she's probably…"

"Yeah,okay, whatever," Cragen nodded quickly. "I just…" he ran a hand over his thinning hair and gave them a dejected shrug. "What did I do to make the two of you think I would…" his voice broke, and he realized exactly what made them think they'd be in trouble. "Sit, please," he gestured back to their seats and then plopped in the one next to Elliot.

"We know, we should have come out and said it as soon as it happened," Elliot began, "But we were afraid you'd reject her final eval and cost her this job, which...at the time...was the most important thing to her. To...to us." He wiped his palms on his blue sweatpants.

Cragen, nodding, said, "Yeah, I know that, but you two…" he licked his lips. "If you would have just asked…" he made an agitated sound and twisted toward them. "The policies in this unit exist because we've had our share of horrible situations. Couple of silvers hook up, then one night, one gets too angry, too forceful...or one cries non-stop because of things they'd seen on the job. There was one, uh, couple...few years back...got together after a messy triple involving young children. Didn't take them long to realize there was nothing to it except…"

"Comfort," Olivia offered. "An escape." She watched Cragen nod again. "So, what, they broke up and you decided to…"

"They broke up," Cragen broke in, "And then shut each other out, completely. Decided to make some sort of competition out of their bitterness, went toe to toe at work, showing each other up, until one night, after she got the collar he'd been working for, his temper got the best of him and he threw a punch that knocked her clear across the room. That wouldn't have happened if they hadn't started something the couldn't finish. The shit we see, the side-effects of this job, the horror that ends up in our heads...takes its toll on every part of our lives."

Elliot looked at Olivia who had taken on a very green pallor. "Baby, that's...no, okay, that's never gonna happen to us."

Cragen let his lips curl a bit. "He's right," he said. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. Those policies exist to keep the cops in the unit stable. But when the thing that makes one of my detectives stable just happens to be another one of my detectives, well, then the rules don't apply." He chuckled at the confused look on Olivia's face. "You changed him, Olivia. Almost immediately. The fuming temper is still there, but he can control it a hell of a lot better with you by his side. He doesn't try to blow through cases on his own anymore, he thinks things through and talks them out, with you. He doesn't have to keep anything bottled up, or be afraid to vent to his wife because you see what he sees, you know what…"

"Excuse me," a young man in blue scrubs had stepped up to the small group. He held up one hand, the other clutched a clipboard, and he smiled apologetically. "I am sorry to interrupt, but...you're the policeman in charge of Monique Jeffries?"

Cragen nodded, standing. "Yes," he said, an afterthought.

The doctor sighed and held out the clipboard. "She's awake and alert, but you can only go up to see her two at a time. She's still very confused, and she's a bit…"

"We know what she is," Elliot said. "I'm sure she's traumatized and in a lot of pain, but we never send in visitors this soon after…"

"Sir," the doctor stopped him, "She woke up ten minutes ago, immediately asking who was here to see her. When I told her she had half-a-dozen cops waiting in the wings, she threatened to shoot me if I didn't start sending them up." He looked at Cragen. "She also said she wants to talk to a sketch artist. She remembers everything."

"Oh," Olivia said, understanding. "Oh, my God, I can't imagine how she…"

"Baby," Elliot said, pressing a finger to her lips. "Don't."

"I should go get Munch," Cragen said, scratching at his chin. "Take him up first."

Olivia's eyes went wide and she wrapped herself around Elliot. "You...you don't have to," she pointed behind Cragen, where a very eager looking Munch stood, frozen. Quietly, she rose to her feet, pulling Elliot's hand to get him up, too. "We should let them go," she said, and she tugged harder on Elliot. "Come back in about an hour and then...if she even wants to see us…"

"You want to get out of this waiting room, don't you?" he asked with a knowing smile. He was fully aware of her hatred of hospitals. He followed her lead, their arms swinging as they walked toward the doors. Once they slid open, Elliot moved and looped his arms around her. "You think it's a boy or a girl?"

Olivia laughed, stepping slowly down the stone path in the hospital yard. "I've only known that I'm pregnant for, like, twelve hours," she chuckled, looking over her shoulder at him. "All I know is that it's a baby."

"Yeah," he whispered, rubbing his head into the crook of her neck. "Our baby. You and me."

"Mmm hmm," she moaned, closing her eyes as she felt Elliot drop soft kisses to her neck. "It is," she breathed.

He pulled her tighter against him and stopped moving, slowly turned her around, and looked into her eyes. "He was right," he told her. "Everything he said was...absolutely right. You and me, Liv, we are…"

Her lips stopped his words, and she told him without speaking that she knew exactly what he was going to say, and that she agreed. They were each other's stability, the thing that kept them grounded, kept them from cracking up and falling apart.

Elliot slowly pulled away, dropping his forehead to hers. "If Jeffries had found someone...the way I found you...she wouldn't have been at that bar, baby. I think that's what Cragen was trying to say. All of the people he's seen break, quit, destroy themselves because they didn't have a way to cope...he knows that's never gonna be us,"

She smiled and nodded, and with a pounding heart, she kissed him again, finding a little bit of that comfort that Cragen knew they gave each other. As she scratched at the back of Elliot's neck, deepening the kiss, her mind flipped through pages of memories, landing on the exact moment that led to all before this. The morning after their first night together, when he'd gotten on his knees and begged her to take a chance on him, listing every risk and obstacle with a valid reason to ignore it. She smiled against his lips and whispered, "I love you."

He grinned back as he kissed her still and said, "Baby, I love you, too."

Her arms wound tighter around his neck and she nipped at his lower lip, making him gasp and laugh, and she pulled away for just a second to look into his eyes. As she saw her entire life bathed in blue staring back at her, she knew.

Despite the challenges, the risks, and the many hurdles they have had to jump to stay together through it all, the chances had been well worth taking.

 **A/N: Are we finished…?**


End file.
